Category: Best Line of the Day

Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.

Longest sentence of the day, so far

“The movie, inspired by the real-life story of Diana Ross and the Supremes, is probably the first musical in 50 years to channel the extravagant spirit and smooth Technicolor glory of Vincente Minnelli — creator of such iconic films as “An American in Paris” — and yet it’s harnessed to a real, and realistic showbiz story about the rise of an aspiring African American girl group, in which the talented but hefty singer Effie Jennifer Hudson gets shoved out of the spotlight by her lover and manager, Curtis Jamie Foxx, to make way for Deena Beyoncé Knowles, the more attractive singer in the group who has broader crossover appeal.”

Rachel Abramowitz in the Los Angeles Times as reported by David Carr in The New York Times, who says, “In the spirit of the season, the Bagger is going to send Ms. Abramowitz a box of periods, so she won’t always have to use commas.”

Good lines

• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on the most lucrative jobs in sports: “1. Bengals’ bail bondsman; 2. Grant Hill’s surgeon; 3. Dennis Erickson’s real-estate agent.”

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on Lions QB Jon Kitna on pace to be sacked 63 times this season: “He gets sacked so much, they ought to ask if he’d prefer paper or plastic.”

Sideline Chatter

Best line of the day, so far

When I was a child, I tell my offspring, my brother and I often would receive just one present at Christmastime, typically an individual crayon. It wouldn’t even be a full crayon, but merely a stub. Still, we’d be grateful and would pretend that “brown” was our favorite of the 64 Crayola colors. We would talk about how great this crayon would be if only we could afford paper.

Joel Achenbach

[First posted here a year ago.]

Best line of the day, so far

Comments are critical to blogs. They are the number one distinguishing feature that separates them from websites, those static billboards on the web. It is through this interaction that blogs continue the conversation started by the author. Feedback, input, advice, answers to questions, questions needing answers, all enrich the dialog that makes blogs blogs.

Lorelle on WordPress

Best line of the day, so far

I bring this up for this reason: A new CBS News poll indicates that 21% of Americans believe that President Bush is doing a good job on Iraq. That’s one point above the Crackpot Threshold, which is well within the 3% margin for error.

To put that into perspective, on the defining issue of George W. Bush’s Presidency, the President is now supported by the same percentage of people who believe that astrology is a science, that NASA faked the moon landings, and that the Constitution guarantees our right to own pets.

Functional Ambivalent

Best sports line of the day, so far

“You want to know why Steve Spurrier turned down the chance to pursue the Alabama and Miami jobs to stay at South Carolina?” wrote Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel. “He just got a $500,000 raise for taking the Gamecocks to the Liberty Bowl.

At South Carolina, you get a raise for going to the Liberty Bowl. “At Alabama and Miami, you get fired.”

Sideline Chatter

Best line of the week, so far

The Report’s narrative passages add up to a comprehensive condemnation not only of the conduct and consequences of the Iraq war but also of the Administration’s over-all foreign policy, a condemnation all the more stunning coming from a panel led by [James] Baker and including [Sandra Day] O’Connor, who, perhaps more than any other two people on earth, were responsible six years ago for promoting Bush from loser of the popular vote to President of the United States.

Hendrik Hertzberg in The New Yorker

Best line of the day, so far

“Contrary to popular belief, smoking marijuana need not be a steppingstone between using alcohol and tobacco and experimenting with illegal drugs such as cocaine and heroin.”

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in a report on a University of Pittsburgh study.

“This is actually quite novel, this idea,” Dr. Tarter said. “It runs counter to about six decades of current drug policy in the country, where we believe that if we can’t stop kids from using marijuana, then they’re going to go on and become addicts to hard drugs.”

A freakin’ Eureka moment.

Best opening line in a movie review ever, so far

“It’s best to think of ‘The Nativity Story’ as a Hollywood version of the kind of Christmas production some of the ‘Peanuts’ kids put on in ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas.’ This is not meant as a criticism. Quite the contrary.”

A.O Scott in The New York Times.

At the Los Angeles Times Kenneth Turan wasn’t as positive.

“Hardwicke, whose work includes the fake-transgressive ‘Thirteen’ and ‘Lords of Dogtown,’ has made a super-earnest Classics Illustrated version of the Nativity story, a cinematic Bible class that flatters the chosen but has little to offer anyone who is not already a believer.”

Best line of the day, so far

“Forget about whatever Bill Gates did in the past that made you curl up with your free copy of Linux and cry. In his first week in office he’d probably link Microsoft Virtual Earth to the government’s spy satellites so you can look for Osama yourself.”

Scott Adams, pressing his choice: Bill Gates for President.

“For my president I want a mixture of Mother Teresa, Carl Sagan, Warren Buffet, and Darth Vader.”

Sounds right.

Bush fell in love with his program

“Why does Bush love Estonia so? Aren’t the cultural clues fairly obvious? Having read a single book, Laar came to ‘believe, erroneously, that the flat tax had been put into practice throughout the West!’ Now, there was a gut-level governing strategy our own Decider could quickly warm up to! Read one book—then swing into action!”

Daily Howler, which again today should NOT be missed.

“But then, these gentlemen’s cluelessness has long been matched by the people who write about such matters in our own great Gotham Times.”

Best line of the day, so far

“To put it delicately, Kevin’s piñata is woefully short of candy.”

Dan Neil referring, of course, to Kevin Federline.

Neil continues, “And yet, that’s how this worthless-hubby, canceled-credit-card, Malibu train wreck narrative plays out, right? It’s K-Fed, David Gest, Ike Turner and Bobby Brown playin’ Texas hold ’em in celebrity man-mooch heaven.”

Oh, BTW, it’s also a great review of the redesigned Acura MDX.

Best line of the day, so far

“Later on in the segment [James Dobson] tries to define what causes homosexuality to Larry King. He says his opinion is a wee bit controversial, but I say it’s bat shit crazy.”

James Amato, Crooks and Liars, which has the video of Dobson with Larry King.

Dobson’s controversial thinking:

[Homosexuality] usually comes out of very, very early childhood, and this is very controversial, but this is what I believe and many other people believe, that is has to do with an identity crisis that occurs to early to remember it, where a boy is born with an attachment to his mother and she is everything to him for about 18 months, and between 18 months and five years, he needs to detach from her and to reattach to his father.

It’s a very important developmental task and if his dad is gone or abusive or disinterested or maybe there’s just not a good fit there. What’s he going to do? He remains bonded to his mother and…

Most inane line of the day, so far

“And even the upper-middle class kids who are having sex don’t know where to get condoms.”

Sylvia Ruiz, executive director of the New Mexico Teen Pregnancy Coalition, quoted in The Albuquerque Journal in a report on the state’s continuing to rate high in teen-age pregnancy.

The upper-middle class kids know where to get booze and marijuana, but aren’t familiar with Walgreens?

Best line of the day, so far

A young clergyman had preached a trial sermon at a prominent, not to say prosperous, church, and he was sure it had gone well. After the service, he stood at the door and shook hands with the parishioners as they filed out. At the end of the line was a little old lady, who held his hand, looked up at him, and quavered, “Young man, has anyone ever told you how wonderful you are?” “Why no,” he said, nearly choking in his attempt to be modest. She replied, “Then how did you ever get the idea?”

As told by Don To Earth, the 92-year-old blogger.

Best line of the day, so far

He’s good-looking, though, like he just stepped out of some “Don’t Litter the Earth” public-service advertisement. He’s got those great big cheekbones that are like planets, you know, with little moons orbiting them. He gets me jealous, jealous, and jealous. If you put Junior and me next to each other, he’s the Before Columbus Arrived Indian and I’m the After Columbus Arrived Indian.

Sherman Alexie, “What You Pawn I Will Redeem,” The New Yorker, 2003, an absolutely first-rate short story.