Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
“And yet, it’s better to be a one-hit wonder than say, a lifelong failure. Most creative people I know would cut off a finger to have the word ‘hit’ associated with their names — even a single time.”
Mary Elizabeth Williams writing about The one-hit wonder of the decade.
Billboard selected Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day.” Click to learn about the runners-up and more.
“But in terms of the temperature, going up and up and up, we are making some progress. Today over there at the conference in Copenhagen, they put a cap on the number of hot girlfriends for Tiger Woods. That’s going to cool things off a little bit.”
David Letterman
The Blind Side, a drama in which Sandra Bullock takes in and tutors a future all-American offensive tackle, has smashed box office expectations to become a blockbuster hit. What do you think?
Jeff James,
Absorption Operator
“If Meryl Streep or Jodie Foster had taken that kid under her wing, he’d have some Super Bowl rings with the Steelers instead of wasting time with the Baltimore Ravens.”
“You know who has had a REALLY good week? Phil Mickelson.”
Jill
“Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.”
David Letterman
“[T]he count of alleged mistresses has now jumped to double-digits: 10 in all, or eight fewer women than majors won by Jack Nicklaus.”
The black stripes under Florida QB Tim Tebow’s eyes during Saturday’s loss to Alabama noted the New Testament citation John 16:33.
Deadspin suggests another more appropriate passage — John 11:35.
“Jesus wept.”
“Something north of a hundred and fifty thousand books were published in 2009. That number daunted me, so I got to thinking of a year, three centuries ago, when, in all of the British mainland colonies, only thirty-one books were printed (if you discount a handful of broadsheets, proclamations, and volumes of laws). The pickings are slim—and grim—but here are my Top Ten Books of 1709:”
Harvard historian Jill Lepore has the list.
And number one, “The American Almanack.” See, see, almanacks are cool.
“It’s much easier to figure out who’s ‘left’ and who isn’t using cultural litmus tests than it is using position papers. What’s the left position on monetary policy? I have no idea. What’s the left’s position on American Idol? Easy: it rolls its eyes.”
Matt Taibbi on the meaning of “The Left”
“It may sound like a mistake to say that it was reporters ‘on the left’ who harped on the whole Trig business, but it’s not a mistake if she’s using the word ‘left’ in the sense of ‘Godless east-coast intellectual watcher of subtitled movies who disagrees with me,’ which is where we’ve allowed this word to go.”
“WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In one of the largest mass demonstrations in recent history, over one million women claiming to have had sexual liaisons with Tiger Woods marched on Washington today.”
“Could TCU beat Texas? Could Cincinnati even stay on the field with Alabama? Maybe, maybe not. But I’d sure like to find out, wouldn’t you?”
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Steven Wright, 54 today. More Wrightisms in the birthday post for today.
“There best be some of that beer left for Christmas morning.”
Joy on My Name Is Earl
First posted here four years ago today.
“It was a bombshell, almost as if full-frontal nudity had been displayed on the cover of The Reader’s Digest.”
Dick Cavett discussing Walter Winchell’s saying “and a president who does not know what the h-e-double-l is going on” over the airwaves.
It’s actually a pretty good essay by Cavett about lost fame.
“Good news! The November jobless rate has fallen to 10 percent. Bad news: we’re now living in a world where that counts as good news.”
Also from Newsdroppings:
“Researchers have conducted a study of anger in America. Anger levels range from ‘slightly angry’ to ‘very angry’ to ‘@#$% you and your @#$%-damn survey!'”
And:
“An Oregon couple spent two nights stuck in the snow after their quest for the perfect Christmas tree. A touching reminder that the only thing we really need for Christmas is family, and sometimes new brains.”
“I watched Oprah interview Sarah Palin a couple weeks ago. Spent a whole hour talking to her. And I realized, if John McCain had done that, we never would have heard of Sarah Palin.”
“If we had wanted Bush’s wars, and contractors, and corruption, we could have voted for John McCain.”
Garry Wills in a piece titled “The Betrayal”
“I did not think he would lose me so soon—sooner than Bill Clinton did.”
“There were rumors he was going to talk about our obligation to help the oppressed women of Afghanistan and that would have driven me nuts. If the White House could have gotten a semi-stable region that kept all its women cloistered in caves, they’d have jumped at it. Felt terrible, but jumped nonetheless.”
And another from Ms. Collins:
“The president is one of the great speechmakers in American history, but I don’t think he has the capacity to whip himself into a fervor over something he doesn’t believe.”
“Will [the West Point cadets] find the President’s speech useful in inspiring their troops, or in reciting to themselves why they are there? Afghanistan is where their lives might end. This speech is where Obama’s Presidency might end.”
“And the idea that permanent Western occupation of Muslim lands will decrease Jihadist terror is so insane only Dick Cheney could still believe it.”
“Worst Place to Find a Date
“1. The [Albuquerque] Journal’s monthly DWI page. Now don’t tell me you haven’t scoured those rows of mug shots looking for a potential partner! I know you have.”
The esteemed Johnny Mango with Duke City Fix’s List of the Worst. He’s got more.
“As president, I would pursue a new strategy, and begin by providing at least two additional combat brigades to support our effort in Afghanistan. We need more troops, more helicopters, better intelligence-gathering and more nonmilitary assistance to accomplish the mission there.”
“Which type of golf club works best for breaking windows? The 1-iron, if you’re carrying one. You want the longest club you can get, to help you generate head speed. An iron is better than a wood, because its sole—the part of the club that sits on the ground—is narrower and thus generates more pressure at the point of impact.”
Andrew Sullivan relays news that in her book Sarah Palin attributes the following to famed UCLA basketball coach John Wooden.
“Our land is everything to us… I will tell you one of the things we remember on our land. We remember our grandfathers paid for it–with their lives.”
A fine quote. Just one problem. It isn’t Wooden’s. It is actually a quote from John Wooden Legs, a Cheyenne Indian, in an essay “Back on the War Ponies.”
“Clemmons was serving a 108-year sentence on at least five felony convictions. In moving to get him out early, Huckabee cited his youth – age 18 – of his first conviction. Huckabee, a Baptist minister, thought Clemmons deserved another chance.”
Who’s Clemmons you might ask? Oh he’s the guy that apparently ambushed and killed four police officers near Tacoma yesterday.