Category: Silliness

These guys need a deodorant that works. [Video]

I’m thinking Panchos Cantina might need to reconsider their theme music.

Warning: Music

Crying, while eating.

Well, I thought it was funny, but then I’m easily amused.

Jesus’ General hits a home run. Go enjoy!

When a prominent athlete joins a new team after contract talks, the negotiations in a high-stakes numbers game have often only just begun. Jeff Feagles, the punter for the Giants, wore No. 10 until he sold it to the rookie quarterback Eli Manning last spring for a one-week vacation in Florida. Then Feagles switched to No. 17, which he sold this off-season to receiver Plaxico Burress for a new outdoor kitchen at his home in Phoenix.

What Is a Number Worth? Some Athletes Pay the Price – New York Times

NewMexiKen would be willing to sell the “III” after my name for the right deal.

A bottle of maple syrup fell from Jason Kottke’s refrigerator onto the floor. NewMexiKen likes Kottke’s original plans for dealing with it:

My first reaction upon seeing the sticky pointy superhero of a mess was to abandon all my possessions and move immediately to a new apartment. After seriously considering that for a few seconds, I then decided to leave it for the ants. I currently have no ants in my apartment, but I’m sure a big puddle of liquid sugar in the middle of the kitchen floor is just the thing to attract some.

He has moved on to less practical approaches: How to clean up maple syrup.

This could be photoshopped but it seems real — expressionless girl.

Advisory: Loud (but otherwise OK for work).

NewMexiKen just received a piece of junk email (I didn’t read it, Outlook did). It had the subject line “tell Sonny not to come over.”

Too late, “They shot Sonny on the Causeway. He’s dead.”

NewMexiKen feels so much better about life now that I’ve learned you can toss the liquid Tide dispenser cup into the load of wash and then it won’t be sitting around all yukky and sticky all the time.

1. Shouldn’t it be Jesus comma Christ (that is: Jesus, Christ), rather than Jesus Christ (no punctuation). Christ is a title right, not technically part of his name?

2. Why is “frigging” acceptable and “f***ing” not? Aren’t words just symbols? So in this case isn’t frigging just a symbol for f***king?

3. There’s a sign I’ve seen a couple of times this week:

SLOW
MY DADDY
AND MOMMY
WORKS HERE

Now, understand I mean no disparagement to highway construction workers. That people drive recklessly through construction zones and endanger workers is an obscenity. And the sign is cute with its attempt to copy a young child’s lettering.

But this particular sign is just wrong. “My Daddy and Mommy Works Here.” Plural noun, singular verb. (Gasp!) Furthermore, do you suppose some kid actually has both his/her dad and mom working on the site? Daddies and mommies might both work there, but “My Daddy and Mommy”? Are we into nepotism in road construction? Doubtful.

Here’s what NewMexiKen suggests:

JESUS, CHRIST
SLOW DOWN
YOU FRIGGING ASSHOLE
PARENTS WORK HERE

NewMexiKen did a little research on time travel and there is good news and bad news.

The good news is that it is possible.

The bad news is that according to Einstein’s theory of relativity, you will only be able to time travel to visit relatives.

NewMexiKen was going to post photos of my Cinco De May trip to Margaritaville but it seems the pictures are all out of focus.

No, wait, the pictures are fine, it’s me that’s out of focus.

“Along with his subtle and powerful intellect lies a spiritual, almost mystical side rooted in Bavaria.”

From the tease for an article in The New York Times.

NewMexiKen thought the article would be about me, but it’s about the new Pope.

Google Gulp

At Google our mission is to organize the world’s information and make it useful and accessible to our users. But any piece of information’s usefulness derives, to a depressing degree, from the cognitive ability of the user who’s using it. That’s why we’re pleased to announce Google Gulp (BETA)™ with Auto-Drink™ (LIMITED RELEASE), a line of “smart drinks” designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty.

Fellowship of the Peep

1.9. Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice (Figure 1.9)

The Official Rules of Calvinball

From 3M, a project from the Duct Tape Workshop:

Most people agree that Duct Tape can save you money on costly repair bills but did you know that you could create a wallet to hold all of the money you’ve saved? It’s not as difficult as it sounds and in just a few simple steps, you could be the proud owner of this year’s most important fashion statement (“Duct Tape is my life”?).

You’ll need:
a roll of Scotch® Duct Tape,
a utility knife,
a ruler
background music (optional)

Peep Research

The new carpet makes me feel so good, I’m depressed I didn’t replace the old stuff sooner.

Go Fug Yourself

to bring you this video of four guys throwing a girl through a basketball hoop. Is this for real?

Link via kottke.

NewMexiKen visited the doctor for a routine exam yesterday. Nothing wrong that being younger couldn’t cure.

But the highlight of the day was learning that I am taller than ever before. By about half-an-inch. Really.

At this rate, in a few more years I may be basketball material.

And I still have all four years of college eligibility.

Use the Starbucks store locator to identify the number of Starbucks near you. Kottke reports 169 within 5 miles of 45th and Madison in NYC. NewMexiKen could only locate three within 5 miles (but seeing as how one direction near me leads into a Wilderness Area …).

TallOrNot.swf

Bill Gates Strikes a Pose for Teen Beat Photospread (ca. 1984).

Or take a look at this mug shot from NewMexiKen’s very own Albuquerque Police Department. Surely you will recognize Albuquerque’s most famous short-term resident. The arrest in 1977 was related to a traffic violation.

Update. From the Santa Fe New Mexican via dangerousmeta, the original Microsoft team in Albuquerque (1978). Story here.