Category: Humor

Sam the Author

The General, JC Christian, reviews Joe The Plumber, the book:

Last year, the “average American” elected an Harvard educated constitutional law professor to the presidency. Average conservatives knew better. They rallied behind Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin, people like ourselves; people I proudly call “mediocre Americans.”

And that’s why Joe is still so immensely popular. He’s angry, vicious, ignorant, and intellectually incurious. He’s one of us, and like us, he didn’t learn about public policy and international relations at a university or from books or journals; he learned everything he needed to know by tuning into Rush, Hannity, Savage, and Ingraham.

This is a great book, one every true conservative should buy, and more importantly, read. Yes, I know that sounds like a tall order …

Several of the other reviews are fun, too.

Thanks to Jill for the tip.

I’ve posted this on 5/7/05 and 5/7/07

So why not 5/7/09?

1. Shouldn’t it be Jesus comma Christ (that is: Jesus, Christ), rather than Jesus Christ (no punctuation)? Christ is a title right, not technically part of his name?

2. Why is “frigging” acceptable and “f***ing” not? Aren’t words just symbols? So in this case isn’t frigging just a symbol for f***king?

3. There’s a sign I’ve seen a couple of times this week:

SLOW
MY DADDY
AND MOMMY
WORKS HERE

Now, understand I mean no disparagement to highway construction workers. That people drive recklessly through construction zones and endanger workers is an obscenity. And the sign is cute with its attempt to copy a young child’s lettering.

But this particular sign is just wrong. “My Daddy and Mommy Works Here.” Plural noun, singular verb. (Gasp!) Furthermore, do you suppose some kid actually has both his/her dad and mom working on the site? Daddies and mommies might both work there, but “My Daddy and Mommy”? Are we into nepotism in road construction? Doubtful.

Here’s what NewMexiKen suggests:

JESUS, CHRIST
SLOW DOWN
YOU FRIGGING ASSHOLE
PARENTS WORK HERE

Most important assessment of the 100 days

Obama 100 Days

“Since taking office, Barack Obama has worn twenty-four different neckties in public, photographed appearances. Obama’s top seven neckties reveal a lot about the type of administration he is crafting …

“Because the President and his valedictocracy are adept at correlating fashion sense with public opinion, we predict that the top seven neckties will continue to have a forceful showing for the remainder of the term.”

Neck of State

The Bob Marley Stage

Stuff White People Like tells us about one of the phases “that all white people are required to go through before they can obtain their bachelor’s degree.” This stage is known as “Bob Marley.”

Depending on the coolness of the white person, they can experience this stage anywhere between the sixth grade and their last year of college.  Regardless of when they went through this phase, every white person can tell you about the time when they had Legend on repeat. If you wish to test this theory, go to any floor in a College Dorm and there is a 100% chance you will find at least one Bob Marley poster.

There’s more.

Personally I prefer Marley’s Natty Dread album.

Power to the Peeps

Welcome to our third annual Peeps Diorama Contest.

We want you to make a diorama of a famous occurrence or scene or concept. It can be a historic, current or future event. It can be a nod to pop culture. It can be an evocation of an idea or abstraction. The one rule is that all the characters in the diorama must be played by Peeps, those marshmallowy chicks and rabbits plaguing checkout lines in every convenience store this season.

Entry Guidelines for the 2009 Peeps Diorama Contest

Thanks to Nora for the link.

Still America’s Finest News Source

Every once in awhile I see a headline in my RSS reader and I click on the item without taking adequate notice of the source website. I read this whole piece — thinking it odd but strangely heart-warming — before I got to the end and realized where it was from.

First Grandma, Treasury Secretary Geithner Up All Night Talking, Laughing

That’s me, just another smart person doing a really dumb thing.

Don’t miss commuting on the Metro one bit

I posted an item titled “Don’t miss commuting on the Metro one bit” here four years ago today. (It was lifted from tequila mockingbird which seems to have stopped blogging in 2007.)

If you’ve ever commuted via mass transit I think you’ll be amused.

For my part, I thought getting a free parking place at my federal office building was about the best thing that ever happened, and environment be damned I never took the Metro to work again.

The only problem I ever had parking at work was once when I didn’t realize what the guards were saying and I attempted to pull into the garage by cutting off Secretary of State Albright’s town car and chase vehicle.

Best story of the week, so far

Kiss My Big Blue Butt is the home of Susan DuQuesnay Bankston who wrote the website formerly known as The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.

As she says, “I live in Richmond, Texas, in heart of Tom DeLay’s old district. It’s crazy here. No, seriously, it’s triple z crazzzy.”

Click to read about her neighborhood and her husband’s yard sign. Three posts — January 18, 19 and 20. Or click the 18th and scroll up.

LOL I promise.