Category: Best Line of the Day

Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.

Best line of the day, so far

“On Wednesday, March 1st, 2006, in Annapolis at a hearing on the proposed Constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage, Jamie Raskin, professor of law at AU, was requested to testify. At the end of his testimony, Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs said: ‘Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?’ Raskin replied: ‘Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible.'”

Told by Andrew Tobias

Raising the quality of insults

Taking a lesson from Saint Francis Xavier (see previous post), NewMexiKen has decided to raise the level of the insults I hurl, for example, at other drivers. From now on, instead of “Hey, a**hole,” or “m*****f*****,” or some other Deadwood appropriate language, I am simply going to yell:

“It upsets me to know that at the hour of your death you may be ordered out of paradise.”

Worst analogy of the day, so far

“[A]bout as popular as hobo-flavored mouthwash.”

— Dan Neil, in a review of the Honda Fit subcompact. He goes on to add:

I spent a week with the Fit Sport and my one-word review is “charming.” Our test car was equipped with the optional five-speed automatic with paddle-shift switches on the steering wheel, which makes the car drive just like a Formula 1 car, give or take 900 horsepower.

Best line of the day, 1862 edition

NewMexiKen has been reading Doris Kearns Goodwin’s masterful Team of Rivals.

Union General George B. McClellan surely ranks among the most arrogant, self-important a**-holes in American history. His insubordination amounted to treason some thought; the way he dissed his superiors including President Lincoln was incredible. He did have a way with words though. After his own failure in the Peninsula campaign, McCleallan wrote to his wife Mary Ellen the following about Secretary of War Edwin Stanton:

So you want to know what I thought of Stanton, & what I think of him now? I think that he is the most unmitigated scoundrel I ever knew, heard or read of; I think that…had he lived in the time of the Saviour, Judas Iscariot would have remained a respected member of the fraternity of Apostles & that the magnificent treachery and rascality of E. M. Stanton would have caused Judas to have raised his arms in holy horror & unaffected wonder.

Best line of the day, so far

“I don’t have to tell you that illegal immigration has suddenly become an important political issue, but I keep having to remind myself why. I guess it’s something to talk about when you’ve exhausted the subject of gay marriage.”

Rocky Mountain News columnist Mike Littwin. Littwin also has this:

One of the speakers Monday was Yeh Ling-Ling, executive director of the Diversity Alliance for a Sustainable America.

She is a Vietnamese of Chinese descent who immigrated to France, where they wouldn’t let her stay. She came to America and became a citizen. Now, as an American, she gives speeches saying that immigration “threatens to destroy the American culture.”

If you follow the debate, you know that she is the ultimate American immigrant story.

Thanks to Coyote Gulch for the pointer.