Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
Jay Leno Friday night
“Every time somebody mentions a wall, it drives me crazy. It’s a 19th-century solution to a 21st-century problem.”
Steve Ahlenius, president and chief executive of the McAllen, Texas, Chamber of Commerce quoted in The Washington Post.
“When Janet Jackson had her wardrobe [malfunction], it took Congress 40 days to change the law. It’s now over 120 days, and Congress hasn’t done a damn thing about securing a safer workplace for these miners and for these families.”
Rep. George Miller, D-Calif., four months after 12 miners died at West Virginia’s Sago Mine.
“In his toughest stand yet against illegal immigration, President George W. Bush today announced that he would move CNN anchorman Lou Dobbs to the United States’ border with Mexico.”
In case you don’t get this, ‘Burque Babble can help you out:
The tendency is for folks to think the present day is historically superior to the past. Well, for people thinking this way I want you to record/tape/tivo/whatever ANY “Lou Dobbs Tonight” show on CNN, and then watch the program 20 years from now. My guess is that upon viewing the show years from now you will say: “I was actually alive when such a racist program was nationally broacast in my own country? How was that possible?”
“Apple expects their customers to pay $150 extra just for the privilege of having their new MacBook in matte black. Apple knows their customers very, very well.”
Found on-line somewhere or the other.
“Whatever Lou Dobbs says, illegal immigration is not anything like a crisis. The possibility of civil war in Iraq – now, that’s a crisis. The devastation in New Orleans – that’s a crisis.
“People risking their lives to cross a desert to clean our toilets – that’s a tragedy.”
“Let’s set aside our political differences for a moment and pretend we all agree with the goals Bush outlined for immigration reform last night. Is there any sane person left on the planet, anyone at all, who truly believes these pinheads are capable of executing a plan successfully?”
“In a nationally televised address last night, President George W. Bush announced that he would order 10,000 National Guard troops to protect his sagging approval rating.”
“President Bush is going to address the nation Monday night on the immigration issue. Bush said he would have given the address [Friday night] but, he couldn’t get that Mission Accomplished sign in Spanish made fast enough.”
Jay Leno
“Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, on California Gov. Arnold Schwarzengger asking the NFL to put two teams in Los Angeles: ‘No matter how many times I hear that, it sounds preposterous. But it’s true: Arnold Schwarzenegger really is the governor of California.'”
“if i were an inventor-type, i’d be working on: musical breast implants. iBoobs.”
“I’ve talked to every president since Abe Lincoln.”
Mike Wallace, who’s requests for an interview have been repeatedly denied by George W. Bush. Wallace is 88 today. He has talked to every president since John F. Kennedy.
“Has anyone considered, just for a minute, the Freudian implications of George W destroying the intelligence agency once headed by his father?”
Functional Ambivalent, in a fine post about wanting to “change the channel.”
“You know what we should do, the next time a Kennedy gets in a car late at night, wake up Dick Cheney and have him shoot out the tires.”
Jay Leno
“I’m beginning to think Brownie was the cream of the crop.”
Digby discussing the mess at the CIA and referring to former-FEMA director Michael Brown.
“Yesterday, Porter Goss lost the job he never should have had in the first place. After John Negroponte gave Mr. Goss the ax, W. went biking in Beltsville, Md.
“When spooks get spiked, W. spins the spokes.”
News item — Bush to make major personnel announcement:
“Anyone wanna take a guess? I’m putting my money on a new appointee at extra-constitutional affairs.”
Josh Marshall
“John Snow will be replaced by some other guy just like John Snow.”
Atrios
Update: CIA Director Porter Goss resigned. To spend more time with his hookers one supposes.
“Of course, I don’t expect Congress to modernize the national anthem any more than I expect it to get rid of other anachronistic fixtures of American life—the Electoral College, the copper penny, or Donald Rumsfeld. ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ is one of those outdated institutions that survive for reasons of habit, sentiment, and sheer inertia.”
Jacob Weisberg in an interesting essay about the anthem. NewMexiKen agrees with Weisberg, I’d choose “This Land Is Your Land” for our anthem.
Go spend 99¢ and listen to Bruce Springsteen’s live version.
“Did you know former President James Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other at the same time? That was Garfield. When President Bush heard about it, he said, ‘We had a talking cat for president?'”
Jay Leno quoted by AP
“Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist today denied reports that his presidential ambitions have slipped into a persistently vegetative state, saying they are alert and responding to visual stimulus.”
Billmon at Whiskey Bar commenting on Frist’s push to have a $100 rebate for each of us as a solution to the high cost of gasoline. The idea was rejected by just about everyone, a long line of rejection for Senator Dr. Frist since his video diagnosis of Terry Schiavo.
[Colbert] criticized reporters for likening Mr. Bush’s recent staff changes to “rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.” “This administration is not sinking,” Mr. Colbert said; “this administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.”
From report on Stephen Colbert’s speech at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner last Saturday.
“So the last thing in the world we need is a big party where the only appropriate mode of communication is sucking up.”
Dan Froomkin discussing the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. His description of his evening (scroll about half-way down) is interesting.
“Today of course was the ‘Day Without Immigrants’ as they called it. Or as the Native Americans call it ‘the good old days.'”
Jay Leno
“We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.”