Category: Best Line of the Day

Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.

Best line of the day yesterday, so far

[White House press secretary, Tony] Snow: “There will be a new press room. For all of those of you who have been asking questions, there will, indeed, be a new press room. It will be right here. It is not going to be in a distant part of town. It will be right here in this very spot and the carpets will be clean, the electric — the connections will be up-to-date, and it will be a more congenial and helpful work environment for all.”

Helen Thomas: “Better answers?”

— Quoted by Dan Froomkin. Snow added: “In response to better questions.”

Best Mel Gibson line, so far

“As you may have heard, Mel Gibson was arrested in Malibu on a DUI. I don’t know what he was drinking but I think you can rule out Manischewitz.”

Jay Leno, who went on to add:

“Police said today that they found a bottle of tequila in Mel’s Lexus. So let’s sum up what happened here: Mel Gibson, who grew up in Australia, was drinking alcohol from Mexico in his Japanese car while yelling about the Jews in Israel. You know where he was coming from? A Thai restaurant. Welcome to America.”

Best line of tomorrow tonight, so far

No matter what the trappings or the ceremonies require of the leader of the free world, he brings the same DKE diction, bearing and cadences, the same insouciance and smart-alecky attitude, the same simplistic approach — swearing, swaggering, talking to Tony Blair with his mouth full of buttered roll, and giving a startled Angela Merkel an impromptu shoulder rub. He can make even a global summit meeting seem like a kegger.

Maureen Dowd in a column titled “Animal House Summit”

Best line of the night, so far

“Daniel Silva, another one of my favorites, will be there. Doris Kearns Goodwin. Joan Didion (!!!). Alice McDermott. All in one place! Whoa. I still have to pinch myself to realize I’m on the list with the likes of them. Deep down, I still feel like that dreamy girl with the HUGE PERM, sitting outside the bandroom at Del Norte High School, scribbling poems and songs into a spiral-bound notebook while a storm rolled in over the mountains. I truly feel like not a thing has changed. Weird, no?”

— Albuquerque’s very own Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez celebrating her invitation to the National Book Festival in Washington this September.

No, not weird at all.

Best line of the day about a head butt, so far

Madness. Can there be any other word for both this World Cup and the way it ended? It would be like Tiger Woods, moments from donning another green jacket at the Masters, bringing his putter down on top of Vijay Singh’s skull. Or Michael Jordan stepping up to the free throw line in the final ticks of an NBA championship game and breaking Kobe Bryant’s nose with a basketball.

David Hirshey

Best line of the day about a pirate movie, so far

“Mr. [Orlando] Bloom, as is his custom, leaps about, trying to overcome his incurable blandness, and is upstaged by special effects, musical cues, octopus tentacles and pieces of wood.”

A.O. Scott in a a generally positive, more-or-less, kind of, but qualified, review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.

Best line of the day, so far

“This is a lot of gear for a sub-$40,000 car. To name but a few items: stability control, six air bags, xenon headlights, tire-pressure monitoring, power moon roof, heated outside mirrors with reverse tilt-down, speed-sensitive wipers, leather heated seats, and enough bins, compartments and squirrel holes to carry Rush Limbaugh’s entire personal stash.”

Dan Neil in a rave review of the new Acura RDX.

“The car will monitor its position relative to the sun and compensate for solar heating on one side of the cabin.”

Best line of the day, so far

“Superman and the Bible are plainly cut from the same template: baby Superman and baby Moses are both rescued from certain death, sent off by their desperate parents in a rocket ship/wicker basket, and are then raised by an alien family but always remember the ways of their people and spend their lives fighting for justice.”

Freakonomics Blog, in a posting entitled “Does Obesity Kill?”

Stupidest line of the day (or any day) about the internet

But this service isn’t going to go through the interent and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.

Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.
…

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.

It’s a series of tubes.

And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Senator Ted Stevens (third in line to the presidency by the way) trying to talk about internet neutrality legislation the other day.

But then again NewMexiKen has never liked Ted Stevens since he almost ran me over in a crosswalk in 1973.

Transcript via 27B Stroke 6.