Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
“One of my frustrations with the blogosphere—as those of you who read this blog know—is that I think that the immediacy of web publishing makes some people lazy. They type faster than they think; or they believe that a reaction is the same thing as an argument.”
Malcolm Gladwell, responding to more criticism of his most recent article (mentioned here).
“Tell the president I can’t take his call now, I’m on with the chief justice.”
William Safire while working for President Nixon as a speech writer (and talking to Chief Justice Berger). Safire would have been about 42 at the time (1971).
“President Bush is traveling around the country. Today he flew to New Orleans. There was one awkward moment when he said, ‘Oh my God, what happened here?!'”
Conan O’Brien
“I lost to Barry Manilow!”
Stephen Colbert on the Emmy Awards show.
Yesterday, they said life begins with conception.
Today, they say life begins with intercourse.
Tomorrow, they will tell us life begins with dinner and a movie.
Dover Bitch quoted at Hullabaloo.
“I wish someone would try to blow up a plane using New Age music, so I wouldn’t have to sit and listen to that shit while people are boarding.”
“Do you think we could pay a terrorist to try to kill some infidels using some kind of “lack of legroom in coach” bomb?”
“Get Your War On” by David Rees in the September 7, 2006, issue of Rolling Stone.
“K-Fed’s rapping and pop-locking was too shocking for mocking.”
Maureen Dowd referring to Kevin Federline (Mr. Britney Spears) in a column about husbands in their wife’s shadow.
“I may be the only person, the only presidential candidate who never carried the state in which he was born.”
President Bush, Monday. He was born in Connecticut.
Actually, as reported in today’s New York Times, there are quite a few including his own father and both of his opponents, Gore and Kerry. Oh, and Lincoln. And more.
“That’s rough. It’s like losing in ‘Jeopardy!’ to Britney Spears.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, quoted at Sideline Chatter
JonBenet Suspect ‘Lacks Credibility,’ Says O.J.
Urges Search For Real Killers
Question: But what did Iraq have to do with September 11th?
President Bush (at today’s press conference): Nothing.
Oh, and —
* WAR IS PEACE
* FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
* IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
“35. Number of words the current issue of TIME magazine devotes to Judge Anna Diggs Taylor’s ruling that President Bush’s warrantless domestic wiretapping program is unconstitutional.
“1,109. The number of words in the same issue on the extradition of John Mark Karr.”
And the best political cartoon of the day, so far.
“How do you scare people who love martyrdom?”
A European intelligence officer how how conditions have changed regarding the use of force in the Middle East as reported by Seymour Hersh in The New Yorker.
“According to reports, Fidel Castro is alert and being briefed. And I’m thinking, why didn’t we get a president like that?”
David Letterman
“[Bush] only read The Stranger because he’s just now getting around to his 9th grade syllabus. He read The Stranger, Catcher in the Rye, half of Treasure Island and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.”
Jason Jones, The Daily Show
“At a time when we need Franklin Roosevelt in the White House we’ve got a bunch of Chicken Littles.”
Functional Ambivalent in a post titled “All They Have to Sell Is Fear Itself,” commenting on the increasing evidence that last week’s terrorist plot was overblown.
Update: Tom’s getting pissed at the politicization of our security. Welcome, Tom!
“Now that we’ve got three extra planets, how long until some conservative nabob starts a campaign to name one of them after Reagan?”
Functional Ambivalent, who says the over/under is three days.
“I like to say I only got drunk once — for thirty years.”
Joe Walsh, quoted in Rolling Stone : The Return of Joe Walsh, One of Rock’s Unsung Guitar Gods.
Walsh goes on to say “Coke really allowed me to focus, and alcohol took the edge off the cocaine.”
And that he always wanted to do an American Express commercial “in a completely trashed hotel room, with smoking embers and things sparking. And I’d go, ‘Hi, do you know who I am? I don’t have a clue.'”
I have a mansion forget the price
Ain’t never been there they tell me it’s nice
I live in hotels tear out the walls
I have accountants pay for it all
They say I’m crazy but I have a good time
I’m just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life’s been good to me so far
My Maserati does 185
I lost my license now I don’t drive
I have a limo ride in the back
I lock the doors in case I’m attacked
“Thousands Standing Around”
What T-S-A (Transportation Security Administration) really stands for as quoted by John Tierney in The New York Times.
“Officials say the terrorists targeted United, American and Continental airlines. You know what that means. Even terrorists won’t fly Southwest.”
Jay Leno
“I don’t know if absence really does make the heart grow fonder, but in Joe’s case I would love to find out.”
Billmon refering, of course, to Joe Lieberman.
“In fact, sources in his campaign tell me, if he loses again in November he’ll start his own Senate.”
Samantha Bee, The Daily Show, discussing Joe Lieberman
“President Bush had his annual physical this week. Doctors said that the president is in excellent shape. The country’s gone to hell, but he’s in good shape.”
Jay Leno
“It’s obvious now that Mountaineer Mike has never been a daily sportswriter, particularly one sentenced to six weeks at spring training in a place like Winter Haven, the least-charming place in Florida, the Designer Mudflap Capital Of The Known Universe, the heartbeat of that part of the Sunshine State we like to call Baja Mississippi.”
Charles P. Pierce on the need to save receipts.
[Post by NewMexiKen reader Luis.]
“Of course, it would be a different story entirely if we could extract crude oil from stem cells.”
Cartoon in The New Yorker (two Congress-types shown walking on the steps of the Capitol).