Click image for larger, readable version. Thanks to John for the pointer.
Category: Best Line of the Day
Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
Best line of the day, so far
“It has long been apparent that Cheney’s genius is that he lets George W. Bush get out of bed every morning actually believing he is the President.”
Thanks to oenken for the pointer.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
“Over the weekend, the president kick-started the Holiday Season by pre-taping his appearance for ABC’s Christmas Galleria. … I believe the Constitution declares him the Christian in Chief. So to everyone who criticizes the president for not firing Alberto Gonzales, give him a break, you can’t fire a guy at Christmas.”
Stephen Colbert
“Earlier this week President Bush took part in the taping of the Ford’s Theatre gala that will air this December on ABC. It’s a Christmas show and they tape it in June. It’s always awkward taping six months in advance. For example, right now President Bush is still without a clear cut strategy for Iraq. But come December … no, I guess we’ll be okay.”
Jay Leno
Best line of the day, so far
[Senator] Clinton finished by asking Buffett, “Why are you a Democrat?”
[Warren] Buffett said he thought Democrats would do a better job in evening out the field for those who had drawn the unlucky tickets in life.
“Last year, Buffett said, he was taxed at 17.7 percent on his taxable income of more than $46 million. His receptionist was taxed at about 30 percent.”
Got the link from dangerousmeta!
Best line of the day, so far
“If [Justice] Kennedy were to rule on the liberal side, Justice Cheney would then cast the tie-making vote. … The Vice President is not only in both and neither of the executive and legislative branches, he is also a member of the Supreme Court.”
Samantha Bee, The Daily Show
Best iPhone line of the day, so far
“In other words, maybe all the iPhone hype isn’t hype at all. As the ball player Dizzy Dean once said, ‘It ain’t bragging if you done it.'”
David Pogue reviewing the iPhone.
But I’m waiting for the second generation, cachet or not.
Here’s the summary by Walter S. Mossberg and Katherine Boehret:
We have been testing the iPhone for two weeks, in multiple usage scenarios, in cities across the country. Our verdict is that, despite some flaws and feature omissions, the iPhone is, on balance, a beautiful and breakthrough handheld computer. Its software, especially, sets a new bar for the smart-phone industry, and its clever finger-touch interface, which dispenses with a stylus and most buttons, works well, though it sometimes adds steps to common functions.
Best movie review line of the day, so far
“Evan Almighty — an update on Noah’s Ark for Christian-conservative families everywhere — is the most expensive Hollywood comedy ever made. Problem? It’s not that funny. I compute that every laugh cost about $20 million. And most of those of are poop jokes.”
Best line of the day, so far
“A Cheney favorite is playing ‘Marco Polo’ with waterboarded detainees.”
Joel Achenbach in a post titled “Rogue Operative.”
Best line of the day, so far
“The fact that he has no accomplishments makes him uniquely qualified for the modern presidency. The fact that he has no accomplishments and has been on Law and Order makes him well nigh a freaking political superstar.”
Matt Taibbi on Fred Thompson.
Taibbi also says, “[I]f you think my coverage of the Bush administration is unkind, wait until Hillary Clinton becomes president.”
Stupidest remark ever made, so far
This is not an entirely trivial matter since government officials should not lie to grand juries, but neither should they be called to account for practicing the dark art of politics. As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off.
Glenn Greenwald suggests Cohen’s column — “which grieves over the grave and tragic injustice brought down upon Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby — should be immediately laminated and placed into the Smithsonian History Museum as an exhibit which, standing alone, will explain so much about what happened to our country over the last six years.”
Money quote by Greenwald:
When it comes to the behavior of our highest and most powerful government officials, our Beltway media preaches, “it is often best to keep the lights off.” If that isn’t the perfect motto for our bold, intrepid, hard-nosed political press, then nothing is.
Best line of the day about John Daly, so far
John Daly rocked the golf world again last week when he and his wife let fly with countering accusations involving sex, violence and alcohol abuse.
“Add a wildly barking dog and Daly with no shirt,” noted comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, “and we’ve got us an episode of ‘COPS.’ ”
Best line of the day, so far
“When police make a traffic stop, a passenger in the car, like the driver, is seized for Fourth Amendment purposes and so may challenge the stop’s constitutionality.”
Justice David Souter writing for a unanimous Supreme Court as reported in The New York Times.
The Washington Post has the better summary of the case and decision.
California had argued that during a traffic stop only the driver was the target of the stop and a passenger “would feel free to depart or otherwise to conduct his or her affairs as though the police were not present.”
[NewMexiKen is trying to picture a car pulled over by the police and the passenger getting out and strolling off. My imagination isn’t up to that challenge.]
“Writing for a unanimous court, Justice David H. Souter ruled that ‘a traffic stop necessarily curtails the travel a passenger has chosen just as much as it halts the driver. . . .’ He said a ‘a sensible person would not expect a police officer to allow people to come and go freely’ from the scene of a stop.”
Hurray For High Gas Prices!
“My view is that, rather than bemoaning the high price of gas, we should be celebrating it. And, if any presidential candidate should come out in favor of a $1 per gallon tax on gas, vote for that candidate.”
Freakonomics author Steven D. Levitt, after explaining why. Worth reading.
Best lines of the President’s trip, so far
“President Bush met with the Pope this weekend and he made a mistake, because instead of calling the Pope ‘your holiness,’ Bush called him ‘sir.’ Then, instead of kissing the Pope’s ring, Bush went for a high five and said, ‘Up top Popey.'”
“Last week when President Bush was in Albania, they named a street after him. During the street naming ceremony, Bush told the Albanians, ‘I am honored to be standing here on Lame Duck Boulevard'”
Conan O’Brien (Jay Leno said it was “a dead end street”.)
“President Bush made a stop in Albania on Sunday. Unlike just about every other place he’s ever been, they really like him there. They love him. They mobbed the president, and he ate it up. The only problem is that they may have also stolen his watch. … Today the White House said the president’s watch was not stolen. They said he took it off before he started shaking hands, which means there are two possibilities. Either … Albanians stole the president’s watch, or the president took off his watch because he doesn’t trust Albanians. Neither scenario paints a particularly rosy picture of Albanian-American relations.”
Jimmy Kimmel
Best line of the day, so far
“Those who won our independence … valued liberty as an end and as a means. They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty.”
Louis D. Brandeis
Best line of the day, so far
Oh, and Miller will soon turn 60, “and he’s beginning to realize there’s only so many shopping days till Christmas.”
Steve Gregoire on lifelong buddy Johnny Miller — but the thought applies to many of us.
From a good article on Miller at Golf.com.
Tommy Chong’s take on Paris
I’d sworn to myself that I wouldn’t have any more stuff about P.H., but some of Tommy Chong on The Colbert Report is pretty funny.
By the way, during all the “health” issues last week, did anyone mention that Ms. Hilton just maybe was going through drug and alcohol withdrawal? If so, I didn’t see or read about it.
Although I suppose it’s not as if the L.A. County Jail is a drug free zone.
Video via Crooks and Liars.
Elsewhere, the best Paris Hilton-related line of the day, so far:
This guy [Dr. Steven Hoefflin who saw Paris Hilton while she was at home last week] used to be Michael Jackson’s former plastic surgeon and has also done work on Sylvester Stallone, Joan Rivers, and Janet Jackson. So really, he’s less of a doctor, and more of a guy with a scalpel who has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. I really have no idea why Paris would be seeing him, since you’d get about the same quality of work from a blender.
Best line of the day, so far
“People like Joe Lieberman and the increasing ‘Bomb Iran’ chorus of which he is a part are the precise opposite of ‘serious’ and ‘tough.’ They are irresponsible and dangerous extremists…”
Best line of the day, so far
As Jon Stewart summed it up on “The Daily Show,” the Republicans will do anything to defeat our enemies – some even talk of using first-strike nuclear weapons. But there are limits. Using nukes is one thing; torture may be okay – but using gay soldiers (as our allies mostly all do)? No way.
Best line of the day, so far
“We’ve got a basic version that will cost $129. We’ve got a premium version which will cost $129. We’ve got a business version! $129. Ultimate version! We’re throwing everything into it. It’s $129.”
Steve Jobs, Apple CEO, talking about the new Mac OS X due out in October. His reference, of course, is to the multiple versions of Windows Vista, his point being there is just one Mac OS X version.
Best conversation of the day, so far
Take Dish Network for example: I called them last week after reading on their web-site that it’ll only take a minute to announce my move and have a service technician come out to the new place and hook me up again. After calling their 1-800 number and heavy punching on the “0” button a sleepy-sounding female rep picks up the phone.
Me: Hi I’m moving next Friday.
Her: And?
Me: Well, I’m calling you to let you know that I’m moving next Friday.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: What do you mean “what do you mean?”? I’m taking all my belongings, put the stuff in boxes, put the boxes in a big truck and move them to a new house. That includes my Dish Network ViP 622 …
Her: Oh, you’re moving!
Me: [… speechless …]
kahunaburger, who also has the antidote in a good representative at Qwest. No, really.
Best line of the day, so far
“With Rags to Riches hitting the wire first on Saturday, fillies have won the Belmont Stakes three times more often (1867, 1905, 2007) than Phillies have won the World Series (1980).”
Best line of the day, so far
Earlier, in the wee hours of Saturday morning, Smith’s teammate DerMarr Johnson was tased (best line: “Police said they used a taser to calm the 6-foot-9 player.” How “calming” are tasers, really? Are they better than candles and a nice bubble bath? Wouldn’t “subdue” have been a better word there?) and arrested outside a nightclub.
Best line of the day, so far
“In life it’s not how fast you run or how high you jump. It’s how well you bounce.”
William F. Cody as written and performed by Bill Moody in “Tonight! Buffalo Bill!”
NewMexiKen saw Moody’s performance last evening at the University of New Mexico. The accomplished actor — among many credits he was Paul Martin for 13 years on All My Children — was terrific as Cody, one of the early west’s most famous characters and performers. In costume and makeup with fringe jacket, hat and that famous Buffalo Bill long hair, mustache and goatee, Moody tells Bill’s life story with humor, some pathos, and accuracy. There were times I lost sight of the actor and was listening to Bill.
If you ever get the chance to see Bill Moody’s performance, take it.
Most interesting line of the morning, so far
“[U]nless you’re the kind of person who needs a little help through a ‘stressful and maybe difficult period,’ and unless you’re unwilling to wait a little longer to sell your house, then the commission that you pay your Realtor is in essence a big fat tip.”
Freakonomics Blog, commenting on a new paper “measuring the sale price of homes sold by Realtors and those sold directly by owners.”
There’s also a report in The New York Times.