Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
First posted here in 2008.
Lewis Black suggested in one of his comedy routines a better way to select the president.
As soon as the next American Idol is chosen, blindfold them and have them throw a dart at a map of the U.S. Then take a monkey, put a parachute on him, and drop him from a plane at the spot where the dart hit. The first person the monkey takes by hand, that’s the president.
Works for me.
“Miss Larry King. He would’ve had Jermaine Jackson, Ryan Seacrest and Cher on tonight to talk about Libya and the quake.”
BTW, this post is somewhat of a milestone.
 |
|
(That’s an average of 6.8 a day for eight years and 20 days.) |
“I walked in to my office from our evacuation to see this chyron on CNN:
“5.9 EARTHQUAKE HITS VIRGINIA
Disrupts Strauss-Kahn Press Conference”
All I can say is thank goodness Kim Kardashian wasn’t hurt.
“Again, I am not a lawyer, but what exactly has to happen before this stuff falls under RICO. How is this not an organized crime situation?”
John Cole commenting on a former VP’s revelations about the rating agency Moody’s.
If you issue a security, you ask a rating agency to rate it. You pay them for this rating. Conflict of interest? You think?
It’s like the home inspector when you buy a house. Your real estate agent usually recommends the inspector. How many referrals you think an inspector will get if he finds too much wrong and squelches a few deals? Multiply that times millions of dollars in the financial area.
“POLL: Palin Could Draw Votes Away From Bachmann and Perry Among Voters Who Describe Themselves as Morons”
“I’ve never seen him pass a mirror without looking in it.”
A Texan who know Rick Perry well, quoted by Frank Bruni.
“Witches are upset about how they are being portrayed on the True Blood television show. In a related story, sheriffs continue to have their feelings hurt by their portrayal on the Dukes of Hazard.”
“So raising the income tax rate on the top 2 percent of earners would raise $700 billion dollars, but taking half of everything the bottom 50 percent have in this country would do the same. I see the problem here: we need to take all of what the bottom 50 percent have.”
“Personally I haven’t given up hope for Barack Obama even though he has shown little inclination for bold gestures. I’ll still vote for him for no better reason than the fact that the alternatives range from abominable to ‘are you fucking kidding?’.”
“Key components of President Obama’s jobs plan: Tax cuts for companies; new spending on roads; and, primarily, keeping his.”
“According to my calculations, Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann still need 2 more horsemen.”
“We can never insure one hundred percent of the population against one hundred percent of the hazards and vicissitudes of life, but we have tried to frame a law which will give some measure of protection to the average citizen and to his family against the loss of a job and against poverty-ridden old age.”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt on signing the Social Security Act, August 14, 1935.
First posted here, two years ago today.
Sage advice from not quite six-year-old Sofie on how not to be stressed:
“[T]ake deep breaths, ride your scooter, eat some cake, run fast, take a bath, spend time with your kid and play a game, and then, if you are hungry, eat some cake.”
“Mr. Smith Goes To Washington on TCM right now. Part where he punts to Supercommittee and goes on vacation coming up I think.”
“Rick Perry says we should pray to God to save America, and if he’s elected I’ll do that.”
That’s what Charlie Chaplin called Cantinflas, “The world’s greatest comedian.”
Cantinflas, Mario Moreno, was born 100 years ago today. There’s more in today’s birthdays.
“‘No matter what some agency may say,’ [the President] said, ‘we’ve always been and always will be a triple-A country.’ Is that really the best he could do?”
“I hope God isn’t trolling these GOP candidates telling them all separately to get in the race. That’s kind of mean.”
Click to hear a sound bite from this date in history, August 8th. [33k WAV file]
“Greenspan shared his wisdom on Face the Nation yesterday. His wise words were presented in the top of the hour news segment on Morning Edition.
“Greenspan is best known for being unable to see the $8 trillion housing bubble, the collapse of which wrecked the economy. Given Greenspan’s obviously limited understanding of economics, one wonders if Face the Nation and NPR were unable to find a street drunk to share their views.”
“You’re going to start hearing the phrase “double dip”, and when you do, you should think about ice cream cones. You’ll be way happier.”
“We all come from dust and we all go to dust. So why bother dusting?”
“And the Dow is down another 2.31%. The only way forward is, of course, spending cuts and tax cuts for rich people. It’s our only hope.”
“So things are falling apart all over. Maybe someone should do something?”
“Is it time to stop using the term ‘minorities’?
“The word has long been used to describe people who are not white. But changing demographics make the term outdated and oxymoronic.”