Category: Best Line of the Day

Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.

Best response to a Republican candidate’s BS, so far

Tristero at Hullaballo reacts to Willard Mitt Romney. First Romney’s remark, then Tristero.

“We’ll try and represent ourselves and our nation well also to our kids because I think, I think kids watch the White House and there have been failures in the past in the White House — if you go back to the Clinton years and recognize that — that I think had an enormous impact on the culture of our country”

Oh, where to start? Well, for starters, I suppose Romney’s saying that the “enormous impact” of Monica’s blowjob “on the culture our country” was responsible for Trent Lott’s racist defense of Strom Thurmond, the substance abuse problems of Jeb Bush’s daughter, the meth-fueled extramarital sex sessions of the former Reverend Ted Haggard, Larry Craig’s widening stance, Bush/Iraq war supporter Brittney Spears’ shaved head, and maybe even Cheney’s inebriated behavior around loaded shotguns. Or maybe Romney has in mind serial adulterers in his own party like Scaife, Gingrich, Hyde, and Giuliani. Who knew a little fellatio was so insidious that it could cause David Addington and Alberto Gonzalez to countenance torture, or Tom Delay to use the Office of Homeland Security to help subvert the legislature of Texas? Or perhaps Romney had in mind the slimy christianist activists who Judge Jones accused of lying to a court of law during Kitzmiller v. Dover. Yes, this is all the Clintons’ fault.

Best Rudy line of the year, so far

You’d think that a post-campaign Rudy could just go back to cutting more sweetheart business deals with various tycoons, crooks and bad actors as well as chasing more skirts. But failure doesn’t score pricey consulting contracts or babes.

So there’s a decent chance a post-presidential campaign flop Rudy would have to settle for actual monogamy from here on out.

Josh Marshall

Best college football line of the year, so far

“The two showcase games on the sport’s grandest day were absolute dogs.”

Pete Thamel – The Quad

Thamel goes on to add:

U.S.C. blew out Illinois in the Rose Bowl, setting all kinds of records in the process. Georgia is doing the same to Hawaii here. Wouldn’t it be novel to, say, have the best teams play each other. It would have been nice to see this: A Rose Bowl of U.S.C. vs. Georgia, an Orange Bowl of Oklahoma vs. Virginia Tech, a Fiesta Bowl of Missouri vs. West Virginia, and then Hawaii vs. Arizona State in the Sugar Bowl. Instead, the B.C.S. has yet again managed to deliver a watered-down, unwatchable product. And it’s the fans that suffer.

So, take note Fox and Fox’s advertisers, I gave up on the Sugar Bowl midway through the first quarter. I imagine millions of others did the same. (Georgia eventually won 41-10.)

Best opening to a non-fiction book I may have to read

Inside the white ghetto of the working poor

“73 virgins in arab heaven and not a dam one in this bar!”

—Men’s room wall, Burt’s Tavern

Faced with working-class life in towns such as Winchester, see only one solution: beer. So I sit here at Burt’s Tavern watching fat Pootie in a T-shirt that reads: one million battered women in this country and i’ve been eating mine plain! That this is not considered especially offensive says all you need to know about cultural and gender sensitivity around here. And the fact that Pootie votes, owns guns, and is allowed to purchase hard liquor is something we should all probably be afraid to contemplate. Thankfully, even cheap American beer is a palliative for anxious thought tonight.

Then too, beer is educational and stimulates contemplation. I call it my “learning through drinking” program. Here are some things I have learned at Burt’s Tavern:

1. Never shack up with a divorced woman who is two house payments behind and swears you are the best sex she ever had.

2. Never eat cocktail weenies out of the urinal, no matter how big the bet gets.

From Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America’s Class War by Joe Bageant.

Best line of the day, so far

“After politely noting that President Bush seem to be destroying freedom in order to save it, I went on to try to explain that Lincoln actually faced a real threat to the republic. Whereas, in my view, President Bush does not (Unless you count Vice President Cheney….)”

Ari Kelman at The Edge of the American West in a posting on a pool-side argument that Bush is no different than Lincoln.

Best Christmas line of the day, so far

When I was a child, I tell my offspring, my brother and I often would receive just one present at Christmastime, typically an individual crayon. It wouldn’t even be a full crayon, but merely a stub. Still, we’d be grateful and would pretend that “brown” was our favorite of the 64 Crayola colors. We would talk about how great this crayon would be if only we could afford paper.

Joel Achenbach

[First posted here two years ago.]

Best line of the day, so far

“I always thought I would miss immortality by about 50 years – which really pissed me off.   I know, lots of people say they wouldn’t WANT to live forever, but I sure would, if only because it will take that long to successfully cancel my Norton Anti-Virus subscription.”
 
Andrew Tobias

Tobias goes on to talk about Ray Kurzweil who predicts that in about 15 years life expectancy will be increasing about a year every year. Just make it to that cusp and you’re golden.

Unless of course the glaciers melt and you live near the coast.

Let’s resume with a best line of the day

Back when Hillary Clinton described Dick Cheney as Darth Vader, a number of people pointed out that this was an unfair comparison. For example, Darth Vader once served in the military.

Here’s another reason the comparison is invalid: the contractors Darth Vader hired to build the Death Star actually got the job done.

Paul Krugman