“This is ugliest stretch of road I know. And I am from New Mexico. I know from ugly roads.
Karen Fayeth from I-5 in central California.
Category: Best Line of the Day
Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
Best U.S. Open line of the day
“As for Tiger’s knee pains at the U.S. Open? Armchair surgeons suspect it’s either an anterior cruciate or a rocco mediate.”
Best line of the day
“The question in the NBA, and in life, isn’t whether or not you can shoot. The question is, can you get your shot?”
The late sportswriter Ralph Wiley in 2004. First posted here in 2004.
Best line of the day, so far
“I thought I was working for the Jedi Knights and in reality I was working for the Sith Lords.”
Fired U.S. attorney for New Mexico David Iglesias on The Daily Show. Quoted at New Mexico FBIHOP.
Best question of the day, so far
“There were no fewer than 1,004 mentions of Tiger’s knee surgery during the five days of coverage … but does anyone know what the surgery entailed? How come there was never any specific mention as to what kind of surgery he had?”
Worst line to hear from your dentist
“I thought you had a high threshold for pain.”
The above was first reported here four years ago today. It was said to me.
Best line of the day, so far
“My wife and I had a fight this morning. I think it’s because the institution of marriage is weakened by California’s activist judges.”
Best line of the day, so far
“Fox News is hopeless; you might as well get angry at mildew.”
Pretty good line of the day
“Lately, however, there always seems to be at least one food-safety crisis in the headlines — tainted spinach, poisonous peanut butter and, currently, the attack of the killer tomatoes.”
Best food line of the day
“You can’t eat tomatoes because they’re tainted with deadly salmonella. Yeah, now listen to this. First, of course, we went through tainted lettuce. Now, tainted tomatoes. Who would have thought that the healthiest part of a B.L.T. would be the bacon?”
David Letterman
Best line about the worst thing
“How resounding was the Celtics’ comeback from a 24-point deficit to beat the Lakers in Game 4?
“Cemetery workers swear they could smell cigar smoke wafting up from Red Auerbach’s grave.”
Best line of the day, so far
“Every day is a gift. But does it have to be a pair of socks?”
Tony Soprano, “The Ride,” Episode 74
Best line of the day, so far
“The laws and Constitution are designed to survive, and remain in force, in extraordinary times.”
Justice Anthony M. Kennedy writing for the Supreme Court in Boumediene v. Bush.
Best line of the day, so far
“Of course, the boys have already been reading other books, but the truth is Calvin and Hobbes is the standard to which all other great literature is held.”
Testosterhome on her sons’ summer reading. She goes on to note that the boys will be required to report on their summer books — “I’m sure there will be ice cream or weapons involved in this equation as well.”
Now here’s a line of the day
“I don’t know if I would want him as vice president. He and I have the same strengths. But to serve in other capacities? Hell, yeah.”
John McCain talking about Dick Cheney in a 2006 interview with Cheney biographer Stephen Hayes, quoted at Politico.com.
Best line of the day
“Well, for the first time in history, the national average for gallon of gas is over $4 a gallon. In fact, today Dick Cheney was seen putting up his own ‘Mission Accomplished’ sign.”
Jay Leno
Best line of the day, so far
“[Hillary Clinton] became a caricature: too smart, too strong, too assertive, too rational, too competent. Think how the young Harry Potter and his male friends initially reacted to Hermione Granger and you get the idea.”
Best redux line of the day
“Adding up the numbers, approximately 81 billion modern humans have lived altogether. For every person alive today, twelve have died. If people really go to heaven after death, then the afterworld is a crowded place.”
Steve Olson, Mapping Human History. First posted here four years ago today.
Best redux line of the day, so far
“Most people, he concluded, were selfish, greedy, unprincipled, venal, utterly irredeemable shit-eaters, but he’d also observed that these same people were highly sensitive to criticism.”
From Empire Falls by Richard Russo. First posted here three years ago today.
Best line of the day, so far
“If you spent as much time carefully thinking about the world’s problems as you waste dissing me and other liberals, perhaps you wouldn’t be so utterly, totally, irrevocably, and completely, wrong about everything.”
Best line of the day, so far
“You don’t spend your life fighting for women’s rights and then vote for Sen. McCain.”
St. Paul mayor and Clinton supporter (until Monday) Chris Coleman quoted by the MinnPost.
Best line of the day, so far
“Barack Obama spending the evening at Hillary Clinton’s house. Agenda to include a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, a good cry, and a spirited pillowfight”
Best line of the day, so far
“They’re all over the ‘Hillary has 18 million voters’ bit, as if 18 million people were following her around like goslings.”
Functional Ambivalent; the “they” being the commentariat.
You gotta go read Tom’s whole post, but I can’t help excerpting this:
Listen: Obama doesn’t need her or her big money friends. He raised $300 million a hundred bucks at a time, signing up a couple of million small contributors. Lest you forget your history, that’s the kind of financial base Ronald Reagan built, that has carried Republicans to victory for 20 years. When Obama stops by to speak, lines form 10 blocks long. Hillary’s big-money loyalists aren’t going to stay out of this election. They’re not in the political money business because they think Hillary’s a doll. They’re in it because it buys them access and influence and status, and there’s not one of them who’s going to stay over at Hillary’s pity party when Obama’s rockin’ the house down the block. They go with the winner.
As for those 18 million voters, well, maybe there are a few who are going to vote for John McCain. Maybe they’re that angry. But here’s what they’re going to have to swallow: No comprehensive healthcare; war forever in Iraq; bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran; anti-abortion judges; and more tax cuts for rich people. When they go to the McCain dinners, they’re going to be seated next to people who don’t understand why we haven’t put Jesus’s image on the dollar bill.
Best line of the day, so far
“I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected.”
Retired General William Tecumseh Sherman to the Republican national convention on this date 124 years ago. The convention nominated James G. Blaine, who lost to Grover Cleveland.
Best line of the day, so far
“I never was moved by a candidate before. Not Ronald Reagan, not Bill Clinton. I never participated. But this guy is a once-in-a-century politician. This guy can change the world. You can’t meet him and walk away untouched.”
Anonymous entrepreneur at fund-raiser quoted by Andrew Tobias.
I’m telling you people, read Obama’s books — the autobiographical Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance and the more issue-oriented The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream.