“Newspapers are an important part of our lives, not to read, of course, but, when you’re moving you can’t wrap your dishes in a blog.”
Stephen Colbert
Category: Best Line of the Day
Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
Factoid line of the day
“The life expectancy for former NFL players is 20 years lower than it is for the general public.”
From Bill Simmons: A back-and-forth with best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell.
Best line of the day
I’m so 3008
You so 2000 and late
Black Eyed Peas
Best line of the day
“All morning, [Senator Lindsey] Graham clings to the argument that he believes in the rule of law. And as he does so, he explains that the lawbreaking that happened with respect to torture: a) wasn’t lawbreaking, b) was justifiable lawbreaking, c) was lawbreaking done with the complicity of congressional Democrats, d) doesn’t matter because al-Qaida is terrible, or e) wouldn’t be lawbreaking if the Spanish police were doing it.”
Best redux line of the day
“I can still tick off at least half a dozen [former bosses] who, if I saw them in flames on a sidewalk today, would prompt no thought more vexing than ‘Damn, where’re my marshmallows?'”
nancynall.com in a really excellent essay on the “reassignment” of James Lileks at the Minneapolis Star Tribune. Good reading from 2007.
Best book lovers line of the day
“Ice girl Sarah, in her bio on the Washington Capitals’ Web site, under favorite book: ‘Facebook.'”
Best, if most obvious, line of the day
“The truth is these mega-banks invested trillions, made billions, and took risks with their eyes wide open. Now, because they are deemed ‘too big to fail,’ they need trillions in government bailouts and guarantees to solve problems they helped create. But let’s look at it another way: perhaps these mega-banks are simply ‘too politically connected to fail.’
Bill Buzenberg, executive director Center for Public Integrity
Best line of the evening
“CNN reported today that its reporting of the swine flu story could spread significantly in the days and weeks ahead and might continue throughout the all-important May sweeps rating period.”
Best line of the day
“[LeBron’s mom] is only 40 years old; she should date Favre!”
Will Leitch after commenting that he’d “rather see Dan Marino come back” [than Favre].
Most insulting line of the day
“What does yesterday’s announcement that Disney would become a full equity partner in Hulu mean for CBS, which is now the only major network not to stream its shows on the video portal? Nothing: Old people don’t watch TV on the computer.”
This old people does.
Most flattering line of the day
“Almost to make the point, a few days ago the White House uploaded a bunch of photos of Barack Obama’s first 100 days in office onto Flickr. If ever you had a doubt that this man is photogenic, doubt no more. He is. So is his dog, his wife, his staff, his daughters, his lawn, his aircraft and everything else touched by his good looking finger.”
Best Onion headline of the day
“Sherpa Who Led Neil Armstrong To Moon Dead At 71”
Best kid-related line of the day (or did I already do that?)
“Although, there have been many times in recent months when I’ll look up and realize that my five-year-old has been sitting in a corner reading books for three hours, and I want to go, sweetie! Put down the literature and come watch TV. Tyra’s on.”
Best line of the day from five years ago
“Jill, Mack’s mommy, also reports that watching a bunch of three-, four- and five-year-olds doing jumping-jacks is funnier than any movie Hollywood has put out in 20 years. Some clap, some jump, but no one gets the whole thing together.”
A line you don’t hear every day
“It really is all of humanity that is under threat during a pandemic.”
WHO Director General Margaret Chan in Geneva
Best political line of the day
“Those who speak for what is left of the Republican Party diminish their ranks every time they do. On Rove’s advice, they killed stimulus money for fighting pandemics like swine flu. They still follow the post-bunker missives of Dick Cheney, who has as much credibility on competent governing as the Octomom has on birth control.”
Best line of the day
“What General Lee’s feelings were I do not know. As he was a man of much dignity, with an impassible face, it was impossible to say whether he felt inwardly glad that the end had finally come, or felt sad over the result, and was too manly to show it. Whatever his feelings, they were entirely concealed from my observation; but my own feelings, which had been quite jubilant on the receipt of his letter, were sad and depressed. I felt like anything rather than rejoicing at the downfall of a foe who had fought so long and valiantly, and had suffered so much for a cause, though that cause was, I believe, one of the worst for which a people ever fought, and one for which there was the least excuse.”
Ulysses S. Grant writing in his Memoirs about the surrender at Appomattox Court House.
Best line of the morning
“So Bobby Jindal makes fun of ‘volcano monitoring’, and soon afterwards Mt. Redoubt erupts. Susan Collins makes sure that funds for pandemic protection are stripped from the stimulus bill, and the swine quickly attack.
“What else did the right oppose recently? I just want enough information to take cover.”
Best line of the day
“[Washington] might be a better place if it became a Twitter-free zone, a city where people spent more time talking to the guy serving the coffee and less time informing the world that the coffee had, in fact, been served.”
Best line of the day
“Want to trim the federal budget and improve the military at the same time? Shut down West Point, Annapolis and the Air Force Academy, and use some of the savings to expand ROTC scholarships.”
Tom Ricks made the case in last Sunday’s Washington Post.
But that’s not the best line. This, from Charles Pierce is:
“I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that, if Ricks’s proposal is enacted, Notre Dame is unlikely ever to win another football game.”
Best negotiating tactic of the day
“We are big believers in dentist-chair bargaining,” he told a gathering of insolvency lawyers and accountants. “For those of you not familiar with this approach, it is inspired by the story of the man who walks into his dentist’s office, grabs the dentist by the balls, and says, ‘Now, let’s not hurt each other.'”
Ron Bloom, financial strategist and member of the president’s auto-industry task force quoted by Peter J. Boyer in The World of Business: The Road Ahead in this week’s New Yorker. Online article available only to subscribers, but an excellent read on the current state of the auto-industry.
Aside factoid. Honda has 1,300 U.S. dealers. Toyota has about 1,500 dealers. GM has more than 6,000 dealers (all protected by state franchise laws).
Most historically correct line of the day
“Anyhow, the real reason for the electoral college wasn’t all that high-minded guff about voter information, or even some noble desire to protect small states. It was to enhance the power of slaveowners.”
Hendrik Hertzberg in a discussion of the National Popular Vote plan. Until today I believed we should leave the electoral college alone. Hertzberg’s little essay convinced me differently.
Constitutional scholars (and brothers) Akhil Reed Amar and Vikram David Amar have made all the arguments. You can find links to their work (via Hertzberg) at FindLaw’s Writ | Akhil Amar and Vikram Amar. Scroll about half way down.
But read Hertzberg first.
Interesting line of the day
“At the Bank of America, the largest U.S. lender by assets, 7.8 percent of credit-card accounts were delinquent in February by more than 30 days …”.
And it’s even worse when you remember that February only has 28 days.
Best Dean Baker Line of the Day
Dean Baker never tires of telling us that the news media doesn’t have a clue:
In the Morning Edition top of the hour news summary (not on web), NPR told listeners that car sales are down because of low consumer confidence. Wrong!
Car sales are down because consumers have seen $6 trillion in housing bubble wealth and have also seen around $8 trillion in stock wealth disappear. The reduced spending is the result of reduced wealth.
Best Mac line of the day
“So, if price is your top priority, buy a Windows PC. If speed, ease of use and stability matter more, buy a Mac.”
In other words, if you want quality, buy Mac. If you want junk, buy Windows.