From four years ago today.
Jill, official oldest daughter of NewMexiKen, reports from Target:
Chocolate. Chip. Cookie. Dough. Pop-Tarts.
Was anyone else aware of this proof of God’s hand on Earth?
Category: Best Line of the Day
Clever turns of phrase, special splashes of wit, provocative insight — all in a sentence or two.
Best line of the day, so far
“NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – One day after announcing that she would be a commentator on the Fox News Channel, the network revealed that former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s appearances would be simulcast in English.”
As always, there’s more.
Best line of the day
“An Australian bookstore is adding wine to its shelves. At last a book retailer understands exactly what really goes on at book club.”
Best line of the day
What a wonderfully ridiculous playoff game.
On Sunday, the Arizona Cardinals defeated the Green Bay Packers in a flashy, high-scoring overtime battle, 51-45. It was the kind of football contest you love if you eat Skittles for breakfast, meditate to K.C. & the Sunshine Band and think “Transformers 2” is Oscar bait. And really, who isn’t that kind of person once in a while?
Best line of the day, so far
“Elsewhere, NBC announced that with Jay Leno’s return to late night the network would find a new role for Conan O’Brien, ‘possibly as a murder victim on Law & Order.’ ”
Best line of the day
“Now all the letters in my brain are gray!”
Best line of the day, so far
“What’s a great landing? One that you walk away from.”
Moritz Loew, passenger on the plane that landed on two wheels this morning at Newark
Best redux line of the day
“The baby got a hold of a cup of red Gatorade and my bathroom looks like a crime scene.”
Jill
First posted two years ago today.
Best movie review line of the day
“That said, The Hurt Locker is the year’s best film. Should Avatar snatch that Oscar away, it will be because it grossed zillions of millions, not because it’s better.”
Best line of the day, so far
“Most media companies are better equipped to deal with the tablets Moses hauled down Mount Sinai than the dazzling new gizmos coming from Apple, Microsoft and a host of other technovators. ”
Best advice line of the day
“Never eat cocktail weenies out of the urinal, no matter how big the bet gets.”
From Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America’s Class War
Best line of the day
“[J]ust spent 20 minutes keeping my son in a 4-minute timeout. ”
Rob
Best closer to the truth than we might imagine line of the day
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In the wake of the Christmas Day airline terror attempt, the Department of Homeland Security today said it was instituting a bold new series of security measures, including issuing an official “proof of terrorism” I.D. card.
“All potential terrorists must have the terrorist I.D. card in order to be barred from boarding,” said Homeland Security secretary Janet Napolitano. “If you want to get on the no-fly list you’ll need a completed application and the $25 fee.”
There’s more. Click.
Best line of the day
“If sex is used to market a nonsexual product, that product is generic.”
He explains:
Any time you see sex added to a product that is not inherently sexual, you are being told by the company that makes the product that their product is not special or unique in any way. Axe body spray is no better than any other body spray. Carl’s Jr.’s dead cow is no better than anybody else’s dead cow.
This inherent revelation of mediocrity holds for all products in all markets. This includes movies, music, computer games and books.
Best personal ad line of the day
“I bet a friend £18 I’d find a woman here and have sex with her. Reply and have sex with me, I’ll cut you in at 37%. English Professor, 63.”
Big spender, too.
Best 'well I guess' line of the day
“Our system did not work in this instance.”
Most interesting line of the day
“On Christmas Day, for the first time ever, [Amazon] customers purchased more Kindle books than physical books.”
Best redux line of the day
First posted three years ago today.
Three-year-old Aidan coming out of the bathroom: “I went pee-pee on the floor.”
Aidan’s mother: “Did you clean it up?”
Aidan: “Yep, with my socks.”
Best line of the day
“Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.”
Sarah Vowell, 40 today and quoted by The Writer’s Almanac with Garrison Keillor
Best line of the day
“The suspect was wearing a white t-shirt and drank two diet cokes, so the TSA will be banning those on all flights as well.”
Best line of the day, so far
“[Washington and the army] were actually on their way to Walmart, to stand in line for the big day-after-Christmas sales. When they got there the Hessians were ahead of them in line and an argument ensued. The rest is history.”
Best line of the day
“I gotta lotta stuff.”
Alex
Best line of the day, so far
Children will happily and convincingly engage in the lovely pretend game about the benign old guy with the reindeer, without necessarily thinking he’s real. That sort of play is one of the great joys as well as benefits of childhood. But they may also end up thinking that Santa really exists with a sufficiently straight-faced adult armed with disappearing milk and cookies. That belief won’t do them any harm either, after all most adult Americans believe in the supernatural.
Psychologist Alison Gopnik in a discussion about children and Santa at the Room for Debate Blog
Second best redux line of the day, so far
Economists, the scrooges that we sometimes seem to be, are well-aware of the Deadweight Loss of Christmas: the gifts people buy provide less value to the recipient than what the giver spent on the gift. Because of this, I often recommend giving cash as a present.
The Sports Economist (2005)
Gift for President Lincoln
Savannah, Ga., Dec. 22. [1864]
To His Excellency, President Lincoln:
I beg to present you as a Christmas gift, the city of Savannah, with one hundred and fifty heavy guns and plenty of ammunition, and also about twenty-five thousand bales of cotton.
(Signed.) W. T. Sherman, Major-General