Category: Best Line of the Day

“Above all, though, I want to see democracy vindicated, and the stain of 2000 eradicated, by a clean election in which as many people as possible get to cast their votes, and have those votes counted.”

– Paul Krugman in The New York Times

“I am preparing myself for either outcome today. Should Kerry win, I will post an important statement called “A Time for Healing,” or something equally noble-sounding. Should Bush win, I shall post a statement of philosophical resignation tentatively titled “Good, Go Ahead, America, Choke on Your Own Vomit, You Deserve to Die.” The latter will probably require a little more tweaking.”

– James Wolcott

“[P]ractically everyone I know is a neurotic basket case over this election, ready to call their mothers to see if they can have their old womb back should Bush win.”

– James Wolcott

Go read the whole thing.

“I’m a sunny guy, so I don’t feel burdened at all,” Bush replied.

— President Bush on Good Morning America this morning responding to Charlie Gibson’s asking if he feels his job is burdensome.

“The president wants to determine what went wrong [with the missing explosives].

This reminds me of when I wanted to know why my Palm Pilot stopped working after I dropped it in the bath tub.”

— Josh Marshall, who goes on to say, “The thing happened more than a year ago, his administration has taken active steps to cover it up and now that the truth finally comes out, he ‘wants to determine what went wrong.'”

“These are not arguments. They are rhetorical drive-by shootings.”

— Harvard Law Professor Laurence H. Tribe writing in a review of The People Themselves

“Who could spend their time with nine-year-olds and think boys would make better presidents?”

— Jeanne at Body and Soul

“Okay, so you’re going to tell me that professional baseball is no longer pure — that players make too much money, owners rip off the fans, and there’s drug use. Yeah, well, the same is true for Congress, but I still vote.”

Juanita (Susan DuQuesnay), who claims she intended to watch the Astros-Cardinals Wednesday night and record the debate.

“[A] presidential campaign conducted with schoolyard taunts.”

— James Wolcott

“If God did choose George Bush, it wasn’t to lead us. It was to test us.”

Comment last May at Eschaton

“Don Rumsfeld said yesterday that elections in “three-quarters or four-fifths of” Iraq might be good enough.

“In other words, run the place on Florida rules.”

— Josh Marshall

President Inigo Montoya

— TBogg (you have to have seen The Princess Bride)

“I predict long lines of people waiting to vote as the polls open, just to get the damned thing over-with a few hours earlier.”

Functional Ambivalent, whose recent posts on the election have been superb.

“Seeing George Bush govern the country is like watching Edward Scissorhands try to make balloon animals.”

Adapted by Sideshow from Simon Hoggart, who originally made the reference to John Major.

“I escaped duty in Vietnam by deferring my birth until 1982.”

— Jesse Taylor at Pandagon. He says there’s documentation.

“I saw John Edwards at a town meeting in N.H. yesterday, and he was manfully running down the issues like health care and college aid, and it was like I’d wandered into a different election.”

— Charles Pierce writing at Altercation

“What’s the difference when you have a professor and a dog at your back door?

“When you let them in, the dog stops whining.”

— New Mexico State Professor Lowell Catlett

“Bush is way up, way up in the polls. In fact, they said if the election was held today, the Supreme Court would re-elect him 7 to 2, which is better than last time.”

— Jay Leno

“The last time people listened to a bush, they wandered for 40 years in the desert.”

— Michael Froomkin quoting a bumper sticker

“Last Sunday, the WP produced an exhaustive (and by that we mean “boring”) report on the conditions under which Kerry won his medals, though there’s apparently still some question as to the role of the guys on the grassy knoll.”

Wonkette

“[B]each volleyball, which has as much to do with the original Olympic Games as Jenna Jameson does with Aphrodite.”

Charles P. Pierce