If you’d like to become rich, NewMexiKen suggests you invent the self-cleaning refrigerator. I don’t mean the self-defrosting refrigerator, although lord knows that was a breakthrough right up there with Velcro. No, I mean self-cleaning: throws out the time-dated food, cleans up the nasty spills underneath the produce drawers, refreshes the ice bin (some of those cubes may be old enough for geologists to take core samples).
As you might gather I just cleaned out my refrigerator. Just a cursory wipe out and jettison of the older stuff. It doesn’t really need a super cleaning. Hell, I’ve only lived here 7-1/2 years.
There was some strange stuff in there though, stuck in the back. A loose egg. I wonder where that came from. Better yet, I wonder when that came from. There were some spills of food that really didn’t look familiar. Must have been from the previous owners.
Why, you say, did I get the impulse to clean my refrigerator early on Saturday morning? (Go ahead, say it.) It was either that or address these damn Christmas cards.
Sad commentary: NewMexiKen’s two produce drawers contain a total of one-half lime. Of course, one-half lime is enough to wet several Margarita glass rims.
First posted six years ago. Little has changed except I no longer bother with Christmas cards. Christmas tweets will do just fine.
“Willie Nelson is 77 years old. He’s producing amazing music and touring almost constantly with acts a quarter his age. He raises more money for charity than anyone else in Texas. He has a black belt in taekwondo and plays pretty good golf. He’s on his fourth wife, having pooped-out all the other ones. He’s still making movies, and he won a Grammy last year. He’ll be 78 in three months.
“He is a walking advertisement for marijuana use.”
Juanita Jean’s commenting on Willie’s arrest.
The Border Patrol, keeping our homeland safe from Willie Nelson.
First posted two years ago today.
If you drop a bowl of Cinnamon Life and milk on the kitchen tile floor it will shatter and scatter.
If you drop a bowl of Cinnamon Life and milk on the dining room carpet, the result will be milk soaking in and a much bigger mess.
I personally prefer to drop a bowl of Cinnamon Life and milk on the cusp between the tile and carpet. The tile will assure the ceramic bowl breaks and scatters shards everywhere. The carpet will maximize your milk and soggy cereal cleanup pleasure.
First posted here two years ago today, but applicable anytime.
Once again the car rental place has messed up my reservation.
Word on the internets now is that it was actually Dora the Explorer that found bin Laden.
They made Newsday pull it. So, of course, now it’s viral.
The hypothetical cake problem has been half solved.
How’d you like to have been Jesus’s brother James?
How many times do you think he heard his mother say “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”