The Regina Monologues

From BBC News

UK Prime Minister Tony Blair will make his debut in US animated comedy The Simpsons on Sunday.

Mr Blair, who is said to be a big fan of the show, recorded his dialogue in April for an episode in which Homer Simpson meets him in London.

Actor Sir Ian McKellen and Harry Potter author JK Rowling appear alongside in the show, called The Regina Monologues.

In the College Bowl Race, the Crucial Players Are the Programmers

Some background on the BCS computers from The New York Times.

This weekend will mark the end of the regular season in college football, and barring upsets of the top-ranked teams, there will be a tight race for the No. 2 spot in the nation.

So who would then help determine which team – Louisiana State or Southern California – would play top-ranked Oklahoma for the national championship, and which would be consigned to a lesser bowl game?

Why, an astrophysicist, of course; and an immunologist and an M.I.T.-trained mathematician from Indiana, not to mention a math professor from Virginia.

Granted, this is only part of the puzzle, but a crucial part nonetheless. Although games are won and lost on the field, the big-picture results come well after the last interception, fumble or field goal, when rankings derived from elaborate computer formulas are factored into the race known as the Bowl Championship Series.

When Technology Is Heartwarming

A pleasant little techie tale from David Pogue.

I took last Thursday off from writing this column, and you took last Thursday off from reading it. But I have a Thanksgiving thought to share, even though it’s about something that happened two weeks ago.

I was in London at a computer conference. I was jet lagged, on the verge of a cold and — after nearly a week away — missing my wife and two young children.

Following a talk, I asked some stragglers in the auditorium if there was anywhere I could get online to check my e-mail.

A young man named Tim Haigh offered to show me to a coffee shop a few blocks away that had wireless Internet access. Tim and I paid our $8 for the hour, bought fizzy lemon sodas, popped open our PowerBooks and began to surf. As we chatted, he mentioned that he often sat in this very coffee shop and conducted video chats with a buddy in the States, using an Apple iSight.

The iSight is a compact, tubular, high-quality video camera, about the size of a Hostess Ho-Ho. It has a built-in microphone and lens cover. It has no power cord of its own; it connects to a Macintosh with a single FireWire cable. As long as you both have broadband Internet connections, you and another iSight (or camcorder) owner can conduct a videoconference.

The quality is excellent: smooth motion, full screen if you like and very little delay. It’s absolutely nothing like the crude, jerky, stuttering, massively delayed video you may have tried with cheap Web cams.

In any case, I perked right up when Tim mentioned his video chats, because I had an iSight, too, perched on my screen back home. I had no idea you could use it across the Atlantic.

Indeed you can, Tim said — in fact, he carries his iSight around with him.

“You mean you have it with you right now?” I exclaimed. “Can I borrow it?”

It was about 5:30 p.m., meaning that it was 12:30 p.m. at home. On the chance that my wife was at her computer, I fired off an e-mail to her, suggesting that we try out an intercontinental video call.

It took a few minutes for me to explain to her, by furious back-and-forth e-mail messages, how to open iChat and start up the video link. (Most of the time was spent with me, a color-blind husband, imploring her to click the “orange camcorder icon,” which turns out to be green.)

And then, suddenly, there it was: My wife Jennifer’s live image and her voice, transmitted in real time 3,500 miles across the globe — instantly, crystal clear and, by the way, free. I paraded around the coffee shop with my laptop and the iSight, showing her the local ambiance. (Jennifer, grinning: “Hey, buy me one of those chocolate croissants!”)

Maybe I was just overtired and sentimental, but it was an almost overwhelming experience.

She rounded up the kids. They didn’t seem to grasp the full scope of the technological miracle before them, which I found tremendously reassuring; I could see for myself that none of the traveling dad’s worst nightmares had come true.

We caught up for awhile; I told a silly bedtime story to the kids; we showed each other how it was dark out in England, but still bright at home. Finally, after about 20 minutes, we “hung up.”

There’s a lot of junk in technology, a lot of hassle and frustration, a lot of disappointment. But this moment was like a TV commercial. It was an emotional, powerful, simple, perfect example of how technology can change a moment, solve a problem, and despite the gulf of time and distance, bring you face to face with the people you love.

The Internet is changing everything.

NewMexiKen…

is looking for recommendations for web sites you think other readers of this site might enjoy or otherwise find interesting or useful. Please make your suggestions in Comment(s).

Bright and tight

Notice on SI.com web page seeking discussion:

There are very few certainties in life, but here’s one: If your letters come in too long or all in capital letters or laced with obscenities … they won’t even get read.

We don’t care if you’ve written the sequel to the Gettysburg Address, it has to come in bright and tight if you want it to appear here.

C_Schilling1966 Has Entered the Room

Seth Stevenson on What happens when a Red Sox pitcher logs on?

Soon after, once a deal had been struck, Red Sox owner John Henry posted a message announcing as much, and thanking SOSH for the great impression it had made on Schilling. Then Schilling logged back on again and chatted some more—this time answering questions about the comparative hotness of the Olsen twins, and who’d win in a fight between a shark and a bear. (Schilling went with the bear.)….

The network effect of bringing these intelligent fans together, all of them striving to outwit and out-argue each other, all of them posting links to news items the second they hit the wire, creates an astonishing resource. A resource that just whups ass on the local hacks [sportswriters] and renders them nearly irrelevant.

The Internet is changing everything.

What’s really undermining the sanctity of marriage?

Dahlia Lithwick has an amusing and on-point essay on Slate.

Do you want to know what’s destroying the sanctity of marriage? Phone messages like the ones we’d get at my old divorce firm in Reno, Nev., left on Saturday mornings and picked up on Monday: “Beeep. Hi? My name is Misty and I think I maybe got married last night. Could someone call me back and tell me if I could get an annulment? I’m at Circus Circus? Room—honey what room is this—oh yeah. Room 407. Thank you. Beeep.”

It just doesn’t get much more sacred than that….

4. Misc.
Here’s what’s really undermining the sacredness of modern marriage: soap operas, wedding planning, longer work days, cuter secretaries, fights over money, reality TV, low-rise pants, mothers-in-law, boredom, Victoria’s Secret catalogs, going to bed mad, the billable hour, that stubborn 7 pounds, the Wiggles, Internet chat rooms, and selfishness. In fact we should start amending the Constitution to deal with the Wiggles immediately.

Here’s why marriage will likely survive last week’s crushing decision out of Massachusetts: Because despite all the horrors of Section 4, above, human beings want and deserve a soul mate; someone to grow old with, someone who thinks our dopey entry in the New Yorker cartoon competition is hilarious, and someone to help carry the shopping bags. Gay couples have asked the state to explain why such privileges should be denied them and have yet to receive an answer that is credible.

The web gets interesting when the principals participate

Boston Red Sox: Fan Forum — Curt Schilling communicates with the fans.

This second message from Curt38 is among the comments:

From: Curt38 Nov-28 3:37 am
To: emasterv (17 of 980)

60047.17 in reply to 60047.14

Not sure how to make you believe it’s me. I have two dogs, Patton is my Rottweiler, and Shonda and the kids (Gehrig 8, Gabriella 6, Grant 4, Garrison 18 months) bought me a puppy for my birthday, kids named him Rufus, not sure why, but it stuck.
And btw, it’s Shonda 🙂
Not Shanda, Shondra, Shandra

Life imitates Monty Python

As David Bernstein noted Monday on The Volokh Conspiracy, “the incident [see Absurdity alert and Absurdity alert part two] is reminiscent of the ‘Jehovah’ scene in Monty Python’s “Life of Brian:”

OFFICIAL: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a blasphemer,…
CROWD: Ooooh!
OFFICIAL: …you are to be stoned to death.
CROWD: Ahh!
MATTHIAS: Look. I– I’d had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, ‘That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.’
CROWD: Oooooh!
OFFICIAL: Blasphemy! He’s said it again!
CROWD: Yes! Yes, he did! He did!…
OFFICIAL: Did you hear him?!
CROWD: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!…
WOMAN #1: Really!
[silence]
* * * *
OFFICIAL: * * * Now, where were we?
MATTHIAS: Look. I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying ‘Jehovah’.
CROWD: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!…
OFFICIAL: You’re only making it worse for yourself!
MATTHIAS: Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
CROWD: Oooooh!…
OFFICIAL: I’m warning you. If you say ‘Jehovah’ once more– [MRS. A. stones OFFICIAL]
Right. Who threw that?
MATTHIAS: [laughing]
[silence]
OFFICIAL: Come on. Who threw that?
CROWD: She did! It was her! He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
OFFICIAL: Was it you?
MRS. A.: Yes.
OFFICIAL: Right!
MRS. A.: Well, you did say ‘Jehovah’.
CROWD: Ah! Ooooh!…
[CROWD stones MRS. A.]
OFFICIAL: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say ‘Jehovah’.
CROWD: Ooooooh!…
[CROWD stones OFFICIAL]
WOMAN #1: Good shot!
[clap clap clap]

Absurdity alert part two

From a letter to the editor in The Cavalier Daily

Kara Rowland’s Nov. 21 article, “Casteen reacts to U.Va. employee’s remarks,” included an alleged quote from a U.Va. employee. This quote included a racial epithet, something I’d rather not repeat.

My question is, was it really necessary to explicitly write out that word? I take this akin to a public official using a curse word. Typically, those are paraphrased into something we can understand, but this epithet, which is arguably worse in motive than those, gets printed.

I just ask that The Cavalier Daily exercise more judgment in printing words that can be read by anyone around the world.

Pinaki Santra

TMQ Challenge

The Tuesday Morning Quarterback challenge this week:

University of Delaware teams are Blue Hens. What’s the goofiest name you know for a college or high-school football team? Give specifics and web links. Offer your suggestions at TMQNFL@yahoo.com, being sure to include your name and hometown for mention in the column. Also, if you think you’ve got a winner, include your email address so that I can contact you. Bear in mind that this isn’t a contest, simply a challenge. We promise nothing, the rules are kept secret even from the judges, and the final decision will be completely arbitrary.

How about Carlsbad (NM) High School Cavemen?

Marital bliss

From the Morning Briefing in the Los Angeles Times

[Tommy] Lasorda says he has OnStar in his Cadillac and loves it.

“If I lock my keys in the car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car,” he said. “If the car were ever stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car.

“Whenever my wife tells me she is taking my car to go shopping, I call OnStar and tell them my car has been stolen.”

Endless carols torture staff

From the Herald Sun

An Austrian trade union has claimed the repetitive playing of Christmas carols in department stores is “psycho-terrorism” for salespeople.

From morning to night, week after week, the same Christmas music was played in department stores over and over again, Gottfried Rieser, of the Union of Private Employees, said.

“Many staff in the retail sector suffer psychologically from it. They get aggressions and aversions against Christmas music. On Christmas Eve, with their families, they can’t stand Silent Night or Jingle Bells any more,” he said.

NewMexiKen is with the union on this one. Bah Humbug!

Jozef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski…

was born on this date in 1857. Born in the Ukraine of Polish descent, Joseph Conrad learned English in the British merchant marine in his twenties. He began writing in the 1890s and published his first novel, Almayer’s Folly, in 1895. Lord Jim (1900) and Heart of Darkness (1902) are his most famous works.

Conrad once described the morning he first began to write, “It was an autumn day…with fiery points and flashes of red sunlight on the roofs and windows opposite, while the trees of the square with all their leaves gone were like tracings of an Indian ink on a sheet of tissue paper.”

Conrad died in 1924.

George B. McClellan…

was born on this date in 1826. McClellan was the commander of Union forces in the east during much of the first two years of the War of the Rebellion. He loved to organize and feared to fight. McClellan was the unsuccessful Democratic candidate for President in 1864, receiving 21 to Lincoln’s 212 electoral votes.

Illinois…

entered the Union on this date in 1818, the 21st state. Illinois takes its name from the Illinois Confederation — a group of Algonquian-speaking tribes native to the area. “Illinois” means tribe of superior men.

NewMexiKen’s grandmother, Lulubelle Cook, was born in Illinois in 1890. One of her great grandfathers, John Perisho, homesteaded in Illinois in 1826. See the land patents here and here.

Abraham Lincoln moved to Illinois in 1830.

The Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act…

became law on this date in 1980, more than doubling the size of the national park system.

According to America’s National Park System: The Critical Documents edited by Lary M. Dilsaver:

In the waning days of the Carter Democratic administration, Congress acted to further protect and expand preserved areas in Alaska, many rescued from exploitation two years earlier by presidential proclamation. This complex and lengthy act defines preserved parks, forests, wilderness areas, wildlife refuges, wild and scenic rivers, and Native American corporation lands and the degrees of preservation and usage for each. It prescribes timber, fish, and wildlife protection and use by Native Americans and other citizens.

New areas for the national park system included Aniakchak National Preserve, Cape Krusenstern National Monument, Gates of the Arctic National Park and Preserve, Kenai Fjords National Park, Kobuk Valley National Park, Lake Clark National Park and Preserve, Noatak National Preserve, Wrangell-St. Elias National Park and Preserve, and Yukon-Charley Rivers National Preserve. The act also added new lands to Glacier Bay National Park and Preserve, Katmai National Monument and Preserve, and Denali National Park and Preserve (renamed from Mount McKinley National Park).

New wild and scenic rivers under Park Service administration included Alagnak, Alatna, Aniakchak, Charley, Chilikadrotna, John, Kobuk, Mulchatna, Noatak, North Fork of the Koyukuk, Salmon, Tinayguk, and Tlikakila rivers. Other wild and scenic rivers are designated or expanded in wildlife refuges and in other areas.

The vast majority of acreage in the Denali, Gates of the Arctic, Glacier Bay, Katmai, Kobuk Valley, Lake Clark, Noatak, and Wrangell-St. Elias units is designated wilderness.