Surgery

Dave Barry reports from Iowa

There I found a clot of seasoned political journalists, who briefed me on the Democratic race. The big news was that John Edwards, who had been stagnant, was surging, while at the same time John Kerry — who had faltered early in the race, then surged, then re-faltered — was now surging AGAIN.

This bodes badly for Howard Dean, who used to be the Lone Surger out here, as well as traditional Iowa-caucus winner Dick Gephardt, who has, frankly, been unable to surge. He is surge-impaired, and he badly needs surgification in Iowa if he is to survive New Hampshire, where, word has it, Wesley Clark, who had been faltering, is now surging like a madman. He’s the Surgin’ General.

You may think I’m making this stuff up, but it’s a fairly accurate portrayal of how political journalists talk after weeks of being forced to write thousands upon thousands of words based on virtually zero hard information.

Coach Olson

From UA superstitions in the Arizona Daily Star:

But when Olson doesn’t feel right, even if the outward appearance is fine, it gets worse. The Wildcats can lose.

On Feb. 16, 2002, the normally well-prepared Olson forgot a critical element in his game-day efforts at USC.

He had the defensive assignments parceled out. The pre-game talk prepared. The offensive sets planned.

But there was no red necktie in his hotel room.

He called associate head coach Jim Rosborough, who thought he had the perfect tie for Olson to borrow: red with navy stripes.

Olson wore it to the game, and Rosborough was relieved. He had no reason to worry.

Arizona lost 94-89.

“He gave it back to me and said, ‘You need to burn this tie,'” Rosborough said.

NewMexiKen hopes Olson has all the essential clothing when he gets to Pauley Pavilion this afternoon.

Trip With Cheney Puts Ethics Spotlight on Scalia

From the Los Angeles Times

Vice President Dick Cheney and Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia spent part of last week duck hunting together at a private camp in southern Louisiana just three weeks after the court agreed to take up the vice president’s appeal in lawsuits over his handling of the administration’s energy task force….

But Scalia rejected that concern Friday, saying, “I do not think my impartiality could reasonably be questioned.”…

Stephen Gillers, a New York University law professor, said Scalia should have skipped going hunting with Cheney this year.

“A judge may have a friendship with a lawyer, and that’s fine. But if the lawyer has a case before the judge, they don’t socialize until it’s over. That shows a proper respect for maintaining the public’s confidence in the integrity of the process,” said Gillers, who is an expert on legal ethics. “I think Justice Scalia should have been cognizant of that and avoided contact with the vice president until this was over. And this is not like a dinner with 25 or 30 people. This is a hunting trip where you are together for a few days.”

The pair arrived Jan. 5 on Gulfstream jets and were guests of Wallace Carline, the owner of Diamond Services Corp., an oil services company in Amelia, La. The Associated Press in Morgan City, La., reported the trip on the day the vice president and his entourage departed.

Let me read that again

Caption in the Santa Fe New Mexican

Kirt Kempter, a geologist, sifts through ash that fell in the Arroyo de Los Chamisos behind the Santa Fe High School Thursday morning. Kempter says the ash came from the Bandalier Tuff eruption 1.6 million years ago.

So, let me see if I got this right. It erupted 1.6 million years ago and fell Thursday morning?

Actually the article is rather interesting. New Mexico it seems “ranks fifth behind Hawaii, Alaska, California and Oregon in geological activity because of movement on the Rio Grande rift.”

The Founding Uncle

Benjamin Franklin was born on this date in 1706.

As his most recent biographer, Walter Isaacson, states

[Franklin] was, during his eighty-four-year-Iong life, America’s best scientist, inventor, diplomat, writer, and business strategist, and he was also one of its most practical, though not most profound, political thinkers. He proved by flying a kite that lightning was electricity, and he invented a rod to tame it. He devised bifocal glasses and cleanburning stoves, charts of the Gulf Stream and theories about the contagious nature of the common cold. He launched various civic improvement schemes, such as a lending library, college, volunteer fire corps, insurance association, and matching grant fund-raiser. He helped invent America’s unique style of homespun humor and philosophical pragmatism. In foreign policy, he created an approach that wove together idealism with balance-of-power realism. And in politics, he proposed seminal plans for uniting the colonies and creating a federal model for a national government.

But the most interesting thing that Franklin invented, and continually reinvented, was himself. America’s first great publicist, he was, in his life and in his writings, consciously trying to create a new American archetype. In the process, he carefully crafted his own persona, portrayed it in public, and polished it for posterity.

And, as historian Gordon S. Wood wrote in his review of Isaacson’s biography

[Franklin] is especially interesting to Americans, and not simply because he is one of the most prominent of the Founders. Among the Founders his appeal seems to be unique. He appears to be the most accessible, the most democratic, and the most folksy of these eighteenth-century figures.

Gettysburg

NewMexiKen today finished Stephen W. Sears’ history of the Gettysburg campaign. Nice piece of work; thorough yet readable for the most part. Surely the best one-volume study of the battle.

Sears has an altogether appropriate bias for the Union Army. Meade did well, especially considering it was his first few days as head of the Army of the Potomac. Hancock and artillery commander Hunt were particularly invaluable. Lee was careless and probably arrogant; Ewell and, particularly, Hill worthless; cavalry commander Stuart fatally absent until too late.

As an aside, this reader did end up, however, wondering if the term “fog of war” doesn’t apply more to battlefield history than it does to the original confusion of battle. There’s just too many 147th New Yorks and 23rd North Carolinas and General Goodoldboys and Colonel Whosits. Not sure how to untangle this morass other than reading battle histories with a lap full of charts and maps and orders of battle.

Teacher faces firing for hitting children

From The Arizona Republic

The Scottsdale School Board moved Thursday to fire a teacher who it said hit students for speaking Spanish in class instead of English.

Kim Youngblood, who teaches English Language Learner students, told district investigators in a report released Thursday that she was enforcing the district’s English immersion program and did not intend to injure the children.

Youngblood, who taught seventh-graders at Ingleside Middle School, described the physical contact as “a gentle touch on the shoulders or a tap on the wrist.”

The Scottsdale Unified School District investigation said Youngblood hit eight students at the east Phoenix school. The district said the hits ranged from slaps on the forearm to strikes with a pen. Some children said they were hit multiple times.

NewMexiKen can remember a particular nun he ran across in the 6th grade who should have been fired.

When will they learn to keep their mouths shut?

From news reports

Michelle Wie, playing in a PGA Tour event at the age of 14, shot a 2-over 72 Thursday in the opening round of the Sony Open.

On the eve of the tournament, Stuart Appleby said he thought Wie would probably shoot two rounds in the 80s at the Waialae Country Club. Appleby, who won last week’s season-opening Mercedes Championship, bested Wie by a single shot in the opening round.

In stores February 10th

Norah Jones has a new album coming out, Feels Like Home.

Like the first album, Jones imbues the music on Feels Like Home with country, pop and jazz colors. Unlike the quiet, balladic mood of Come Away With Me (which she once characterized as “mellow”), Jones varied the tempo on the new album to reflect the evolution of her live performances. “I’m very proud of my first record, but I was ready for something a little different,” she says, then jokes, “This time it’s not quite as mellow. But it’s still pretty low-key.”

NPR’s All Songs Considered will let you listen to a track here.

Nominees for the 10th annual Screen Actors Guild awards

Movies:

Actor: Johnny Depp, “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl”; Peter Dinklage, “The Station Agent”; Ben Kingsley, “House of Sand and Fog”; Bill Murray, “Lost in Translation”; Sean Penn, “Mystic River.”

Actress: Patricia Clarkson, “The Station Agent”; Diane Keaton, “Something’s Gotta Give”; Charlize Theron, “Monster”; Naomi Watts, “21 Grams”; Evan Rachel Wood, “thirteen.”

Supporting actor: Alec Baldwin, “The Cooler”; Chris Cooper, “Seabiscuit”; Benicio Del Toro, “21 Grams”; Tim Robbins, “Mystic River”; Ken Watanabe, “The Last Samurai.”

Supporting actress: Maria Bello, “The Cooler”; Keisha Castle-Hughes, “Whale Rider”; Patricia Clarkson, “Pieces of April”; Holly Hunter, “thirteen”; Renee Zellweger, “Cold Mountain.”

Cast performance: “In America,” “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,” “Mystic River,” “Seabiscuit,” “The Station Agent.”

Television:

Actor in a TV movie or miniseries: Justin Kirk, “Angels in America,” HBO; Paul Newman, “Our Town,” Showtime; Al Pacino, “Angels in America,” HBO; Forest Whitaker, “Deacons for Defense,” Showtime; Jeffrey Wright, “Angels in America,” HBO.

Actress in a TV movie or miniseries: Anne Bancroft, “Tennessee Williams’ The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone,” Showtime; Helen Mirren, “Tennessee Williams’ The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone,” Showtime; Mary-Louise Parker, “Angels in America,” HBO; Meryl Streep, “Angels in America,” HBO; Emma Thompson, “Angels in America,” HBO.

Actor in a drama series: Peter Krause, “Six Feet Under,” HBO; Anthony LaPaglia, “Without a Trace,” CBS; Martin Sheen, “The West Wing,” NBC; Kiefer Sutherland, “24,” Fox; Treat Williams, “Everwood,” WB.

Actress in a drama series: Stockard Channing, “The West Wing,” NBC; Frances Conroy, “Six Feet Under,” HBO; Tyne Daly, “Judging Amy,” CBS; Jennifer Garner, “Alias,” ABC; Mariska Hargitay, “Law & Order: SVU,” NBC; Allison Janney, “The West Wing,” NBC.

Actor in a comedy series: Peter Boyle, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS; Brad Garrett, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS; Sean Hayes, “Will & Grace,” NBC; Ray Romano, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS; Tony Shalhoub, “Monk,” USA.

Actress in a comedy series: Patricia Heaton, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS; Lisa Kudrow, “Friends,” NBC; Debra Messing, “Will & Grace,” NBC; Megan Mullally, “Will & Grace,” NBC; Doris Roberts, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS.

Ensemble in a drama series: “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” CBS; “Law & Order,” NBC; “Six Feet Under,” HBO; “The West Wing,” NBC; “Without a Trace,” CBS.

Ensemble in a comedy series: “Everybody Loves Raymond,” CBS; “Frasier,” NBC; “Friends,” NBC; “Sex and the City,” HBO; “Will & Grace,” NBC.

Let the kids pay for it

Even Andrew Sullivan has had enough.

LET THE KIDS PAY FOR IT: I’m talking about this $170 billion foray into space. After all, the next generation will be paying for a collapsed social security system, a bankrupted Medicare program, soaring interest on the public debt, as well as coughing up far higher taxes to keep some semblance of a government in operation. But, hey, the president needed another major distraction the week before the Iowa caucuses, and since he won’t be around to pick up the bill, why the hell not? Deficits don’t matter, after all. And what’s a few hundred billion dollars over the next few decades anyway? Chickenfeed for the big and bigger government now championed by the Republicans. This space initiative is, for me, the last fiscal straw. There comes a point at which the excuses for fiscal recklessness run out. The president campaigned in favor of the responsibility ethic. He has governed – in terms of guarding the nation’s finances – according to the motto: “If it feels good, do it.” I give up. Can’t they even pretend to give a damn?

More Marilyn and Joe

Sometimes the nature of blogging puts things out of sequence. NewMexiKen suggests you read the item below before reading the rest of the story.

By 1961 according to Richard Ben Cramer, after Monroe’s marriage to Arthur Miller had ended, she and DiMaggio had reconciled—the Kennedys notwithstanding. By 1962 they planned to re-marry. The wedding was set for Wednesday, August 8, 1962. Very private, very hush-hush.

Five days before the wedding date, on Saturday night, August 3, Marilyn died, a presumed suicide. (According to Cramer no coroner’s inquest was held.) Marilyn Monroe’s funeral was August 8, 1962.

Marilyn and Joe

NewMexiKen’s readers may all know this but I had to do some research to find out what happened to Marilyn and Joe who, as noted below, were married 50 years ago today.

It seems the catalyst for their divorce stemmed from the famous scene in The Seven Year Itch where Marilyn’s skirt billows to show her bare legs. As Richard Ben Cramer tells it in Joe DiMaggio: The Hero’s Life:

The scene they went to witness would produce one of the most famous screen images in history—Marilyn Monroe, in simple summer white, standing on a subway grating, cooling herself with the wind from a train below. But what sent Joe DiMaggio into a fury was the scene around the scene. Fans were yelling and shoving at police barricades as the train (actually a wind machine manned beneath the street by the special effects crew) blew Marilyn’s skirt around her ears. Each time it blew, the crowd would yell, “Higher!” “More!” Her legs were bare from her high heels to her thin white panties. Photographers were stretched out on the pavement, with their lenses pointed up at his wife’s crotch, the glare of their flashbulbs clearly outlining the shadow of her pubic hair. “What the hell is going on here?” Joe growled. The director, Billy Wilder, would recall “the look of death” on DiMaggio’s face. Joe turned and bulled his way through the crowd—on his way back to the bar—with the delighted Winchell trotting at his heels.

That night, there was a famous fight in Marilyn and Joe’s suite on the eleventh floor of the St. Regis. It was famous because none of the guests on that floor could sleep. And famous because Natasha Lytess was so alarmed by Marilyn’s cries that she went next door to intervene. (Joe answered the door, and told her to get lost.) It was famous because the following morning Marilyn told her hairdresser and wardrobe mistress that she had screamed for them in the night. (“Her husband got very, very mad with her, and he beat her up a little bit,” said the hairdresser, Gladys Whitten. “It was on her shoulders, but we covered it up, you know.”) And famous because Milton Greene’s wife, Amy, came to visit at the suite the following day (to try on Marilyn’s mink), and was appalled to see bruises all over her friend’s back.

And that fight would stay famous—as the end of Joe and Marilyn’s famous marriage.

Years later, Marilyn would tell another hairdresser, Sidney Guilaroff, that she’d warned Joe clearly the first time he beat her up. “Don’t ever do that again. I was abused as a child, and I’m not going to stand for it.” But, as Guilaroff would write in his memoir:

“Nevertheless, after watching her film a sexy scene for Seven Year Itch, Marilyn said, ‘Joe slapped me around the hotel room until I screamed, “That’s it!” You know, Sidney, the first time a man beats you up, it makes you angry. When it happens a second time you have to be crazy to stay. So I left him.’ ”

She would file for divorce in Los Angeles, three weeks later.

The famous marriage lasted 286 days.

Still America’s Finest News Source

From The Onion

Grandmother Can’t Believe They Let People With Tattoos On Price Is Right
GREAT BEND, KS—Grandmother of nine Sadie Grunfelder, 71, expressed surprise Tuesday when a tattooed contestant was allowed to play “Buy Or Sell” on the long-running game show The Price Is Right. “I can’t believe that Bob Barker would let someone with a tattoo up on stage,” Grunfelder said from her recliner. “I would think they’d at least make him cover up that terrible thing. What if there are children somewhere, home sick from school, watching this show?” Luckily, Grunfelder’s two other means of access to the outside world—the AARP newsletter and reruns of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman—remain tattoo-free.

First-Generation American’s Job Taken By His Father
READING, PA—Miguel Martinez, 48, who immigrated to the U.S. 30 years ago, last week lost his leather-cutting job at GST AutoLeather, Inc. to his 66-year-old father Roberto. “I came to this country in 1974 to make a better life for my family,” Martinez said Monday. “But in December, they moved the factory where I’ve been working for 22 years down to Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. I love my father, but that goddamn beaner stole my job.” Martinez’s $18-an-hour duties will now be performed by his father for $7 a day.