Signs of the Apocalypse

Functional Ambivalent goes on a rant:

Somehow I missed this, but Farm Accident Digest saved the day:

Travellers arriving at Luton Airport are to be greeted with the lyrics of John Lennon’s “All You Need Is Love”.

The words of the Beatles’ hit are to be written on the walls of the arrivals walkway after being voted the greatest words of all time in an internet poll.

The greatest words of all time? They’re not even the greatest Beatles lyrics of all time. In fact, they’re barely the best lyrics on “Yellow Submarine,” and that album sucked. There’s nothing particularly poetic about “All You Need is Love,” and the sentiment itself is hippie treacle. Yuck.

All I need, right now, is three fingers of unambiguous bourbon.

Oh, and by the way: Beatles Discography is a great site.

Couple Sells Candles That Smell Like Jesus

From NBC10.com via Boing Boing:

You can find candles with just about every fragrance imaginable, from blueberry to ocean mist to hot apple pie.

Now there’s a candle that lets you experience the scent of Jesus, and they’ve been selling out by the case.

“We see it as a ministry, ” says Bob Tosterud, who together with his wife came up with the idea for the candle.

Light up the candle called “His Essence” and its makers say you’ll experience the fragrance of Christ.

Bob Tosterud and wife Karen say the formula is all spelled out in Psalm 45.

“It’s a Messianic Psalm referring to when Christ returns and his garments will have the scent of myrrh, aloe and cassia,” says Karen Tosterud.

Time marches on

Mia Hamm is 33 today.

Kurt Russell is 54.

Gary Sinise 50.

Rob Lowe 41.

It’s also the birth date of two greats who died young — Nat “King” Cole (1919-1965) and Rudolf Nureyev (1938-1993).

It’s also the 100th anniversary of the marriage of Franklin D. Roosevelt and his distant cousin Eleanor Roosevelt. The wedding in New York City was attended by President Theodore Roosevelt, FDR’s fifth cousin, who gave his niece Eleanor away.

The Root of All Evil

NewMexiKen was on the wrong end of a root canal this morning (my face is still numb all the way up to the right eye socket). And it wasn’t even my fault. It’s my sister’s fault.

NewMexiKen was 7 (I was MichiKen in those days). My sisters were 5 and nine months. The older one was in the back seat of our Nash with me, the younger one in a car seat hooked over the back of the front seat. (No one had seat belts 52 years ago.) Our mother was driving us home from our cousin’s birthday party. It was rush hour and dark in December. The traffic was stop and go.

I was being peaceful, mature and totally well-behaved. My sister Martie was — no doubt — encroaching on my half of the backseat. I was keeping Mom well informed about this behavior. Things were escalating. At some point Mom turned around to tell Martie to stop (I being totally innocent). While Mom was distracted, the stop and go traffic stopped. Mom continued to go.

From the back seat I flew over my baby sister and hit the windshield — with my face. My mother bumped her head. No one else was injured; though our car was totaled (it didn’t take a lot to “total” a 1951 Nash, even in 1952). The car in front of us had been shoved into the car in front of it. The car in the middle was totaled. It was being driven home from the dealer’s showroom.

The man whose new car was totaled was kind. I remember he gave me his handkerchief at the scene because I was bleeding. I also believe he gave me the $5 bill I found in my blood-stained jacket’s pocket some time later. ($5 was a lot of money in 1952.) Mom and I were taken to the hospital emergency room where I received three stitches in my cheek. No big deal; end of story.

Except that, more than likely, the impact of hitting the windshield 52 years ago did some slowly evolving dental nerve damage. Twenty-five years ago my right-front-tooth went berserk out of the blue. I had to have a root canal. Long-term trauma the dentist decided. Must be from that accident I realized (I didn’t remember any other facial injuries).

Today, it was the next tooth over (#7 for you dental aficionados). Undoubtedly it was from the same injury 52 years ago.

If only my sister had stayed on her side of the backseat.

Things

The sun is out, the snow is melting. Jerry Lewis is 79. James Madison was born on this date in 1751. The Grizzlies beat the Bulldogs. The URL newmexiken.com is one-year-old today. There have been just over 200,000 visits here during the year.

Best lines of the day

Brad Stanhope of the Fairfield (California) Daily Republic:

Here are five things you should know about the best sports event on TV:

1. Every newspaper sports copy editor in the country is eagerly awaiting Niagara University’s first appearance since 1970. Not because they expect the Purple Eagles to make a run, but they can’t wait for them to lose, so they can write “Niagara falls” as a headline.

2. Something to watch on TV: CBS analyst Billy Packer will commend coaches for a “great timeout” and will compliment them for the players’ action (“great defense by Roy Williams!” “Great play by Bob Knight”) at least a dozen times a game. The coaches, of course, will be sitting on the bench.

3. Top-ranked Illinois gets a weak team with a great heritage when it faces Fairleigh Dickinson on Thursday. Here’s what most people don’t know about Fairleigh Dickinson: His mother is sultry actress Angie Dickinson, his grandmother is noted author Emily Dickinson.

Or, so I say.

4. Everyone should root for Louisiana-Lafayette when it meets Louisville. That’s because the team is “The Ragin’ Cajuns,” the best nickname in college sports.

5. It was bad news for the University of Pennsylvania when it drew Boston College in the first round. Pennsylvania was desperately hoping to face the Chaminade Silverswords in the first round – because everyone knows that Penn is mightier than the Swords.

Link via yoco :: College Basketball.

Is the Car Unsafe, or the Driver?

From a report in The New York Times:

For instance, among four-door midsize cars, the Volkswagen Passat performed best, with an average of 16 driver deaths per million registered vehicles annually. At the other end of the spectrum, the Chrysler Sebring had 126 driver deaths. Among midsize S.U.V.’s with four-wheel drive, the Toyota 4Runner had 12 deaths per million registered vehicles annually, compared with 134 for the two-door Ford Explorer.

Two graphics accompany the story, here and here.

Woof!

Andrew Tobias tells of his friend’s experience training puppies to become guide dogs. NewMexiKen particularly liked this paragraph:

The goal for the first year is to provide a broad base of experiences for the puppy. Guide dogs must be fearless while not being aggressive, and the more things they are exposed to in the first year helps ensure they won’t encounter things that will startle them — and they become confident enough to handle new situations without becoming fearful. Simple tasks like carrying her while vacuuming, letting her meet clowns, watching parades and fireworks shows, walking near traffic, and meeting other neighborhood pets all contribute to success. Sitting on the corner near taxis and other cars in Manhattan, hanging out with the toys in a store at the mall and watching the children playing, and visiting grocery stores also help.

Gag order lifted

“See, here’s my feelings on this whole thing – if Michael Jackson wants to have sex with kids, he should do what other people do and become a teacher.”

“What did Michael Jackson tell the priest? ‘Hey, I saw him first.'”

Jay Leno

Beware the Ides of March

It’s March 15, the Ides of March. The word “ides” comes from the earliest Roman calendar, said to have been created by Romulus, the mythical founder of Rome. The word “ides” is from the Latin “to divide.” The Ides were meant to mark the full moon, but since the solar calendar months and lunar months are of different lengths, the ides lost its original meaning. On this day in 44 B.C., Julius Caesar was on his way to a Senate meeting in Rome. He met up with the soothsayer who had warned him days before to “Beware the Ides of March.” Caesar pointed out that the Ides had come, and the soothsayer replied, “Yes, but they have not yet gone.” Caesar breathed his last breath a short time later, stabbed to death by a group of conspirators after entering the Senate house.

The Writer’s Almanac

Snowy day reading

The light snow this morning gave way to the real thing this afternoon — four or five inches worth by nightfall. NewMexiKen particularly loved how the snow changed the light through the skylights.

Anyway, it being such a great day to curl up with a book, I did just that. The book in this case is a great read, Shadow Divers, the very well-told story of divers discovering and unraveling the mystery of a sunken World War II German submarine off New Jersey. Non-fiction that reads like a well-crafted novel.

The author is Robert Kurson. Great book; highly recommended.