Best comeback to a boss at a staff meeting line of the day, so far

Coach Lombardi to team at first meeting: “This is a football.”

Max McGee: “Not so fast, not so fast.”

McGee, the Green Bay receiver, died in a fall from the roof of his home yesterday at age 75. He was cleaning the roof of leaves — and let that be a lesson to us all: leave the leaves where they fall.

McGee scored the first touchdown in the first Super Bowl.

Tip from Jill.

Whom would you rather be?

  1. Bill Gates or Steve Jobs
  2. David Letterman or Jay Leno
  3. Lt. Van Buren or Jack McCoy
  4. Babe Ruth or Joe DiMaggio
  5. George Washington or Abraham Lincoln
  6. Cary Grant or Clark Gable
  7. John McCain or Hillary Clinton
  8. Elvis Presley or Bob Dylan
  9. Ernest Hemingway or John Steinbeck
  10. Katharine Hepburn or Meryl Streep
  11. Adam or Noah
  12. Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan

Got any other pairs?

Reposted from 2005.

This is just so wrong in so many ways

“Sometimes we talk about why we’re importing so many people in our workforce. It might be for the last 35 years, we have aborted more than a million people who would have been in our workforce had we not had the holocaust of liberalized abortion under a flawed Supreme Court ruling in 1973.”

GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee quoted by Paul Krugman.

My god, what kind of country is it where one of our two dominant political parties can only give us Thompson—the drone, McCain—the seventy-something pinball, Huckabee—the hound, Romney—the be-whatever-you-want-me-to-be Ken doll, and Giuliani—Dick Cheney’s wet dream?

What, we won’t be able to put some ‘Tussin on it?

A Food and Drug Administration advisory panel voted Friday to ban popular over-the-counter cold products intended for children under the age of 6.

The panel found there was no proof that the medicines eased cold symptoms in children, while there are rare reports that they have caused serious harm.

The New York Times

NewMexiKen found this sentence particularly revealing: “Still, nine panel members voted against an outright ban in children ages 2 to 5, arguing that doctors and parents need something for ill children, even if it has no proven effect.”

Even if it has no proven effect. I’ll bet it has a proven effect on pharmaceutical company bottom lines.

A little light reading for your weekend. Topic: The end of the world.

At the age of eighty-eight, after four children and a long and respected career as one of the twentieth century’s most influential scientists, James Lovelock has come to an unsettling conclusion: The human race is doomed. “I wish I could be more hopeful,” he tells me one sunny morning as we walk through a park in Oslo, where he is giving a talk at a university. Lovelock is a small man, unfailingly polite, with white hair and round, owlish glasses. His step is jaunty, his mind lively, his manner anything but gloomy. In fact, the coming of the Four Horsemen — war, famine, pestilence and death — seems to perk him up. “It will be a dark time,” Lovelock admits. “But for those who survive, I suspect it will be rather exciting.”

In Lovelock’s view, the scale of the catastrophe that awaits us will soon become obvious. By 2020, droughts and other extreme weather will be commonplace. By 2040, the Sahara will be moving into Europe, and Berlin will be as hot as Baghdad. Atlanta will end up a kudzu jungle. Phoenix will become uninhabitable, as will parts of Beijing (desert), Miami (rising seas) and London (floods). Food shortages will drive millions of people north, raising political tensions. “The Chinese have nowhere to go but up into Siberia,” Lovelock says. “How will the Russians feel about that? I fear that war between Russia and China is probably inevitable.” With hardship and mass migrations will come epidemics, which are likely to kill millions. By 2100, Lovelock believes, the Earth’s population will be culled from today’s 6.6 billion to as few as 500 million, with most of the survivors living in the far latitudes — Canada, Iceland, Scandinavia, the Arctic Basin.

That’s the first two paragraphs of “The Prophet of Climate Change: James Lovelock” in the new issue of Rolling Stone.

Moral of the story: The planet will recover. Civilization won’t.

But on the good side, Phoenix is already uninhabitable, so no change there.

Ideas for a New Constitutional Convention

Hunter at Daily Kos has ideas for nine new Constitutional amendments. Most are pretty funny — and some are worth trying too, like this:

If we cannot abolish the House, then there are still other things we can do. We can make it like Survivor, and vote the two most obnoxious House members out of office every week of the session. If it’s good enough a system for television, surely it’s good enough for the government of a country obsessed with television.

Best McCarver line of the day, so far

My favorite one ever was when Tim McCarver said, in the 2003 World Series, “Beckett’s retired 19 batters through Six and a third innings, he’s having a phenomonal night…”
 
Of course, Beckett hadn’t retired 19 straight, nor was “straight” ever said. The very definition of Six and a third innings is that 19 batters have been retired… every pitcher who has ever pitched Six and a third has retired 19 batters, regardless of if they were throwing a perfect game or were losing 20-0. Phenomonal indeed!

ShutupTimMcCarver.com

Surely not our beloved Comcast

Comcast Corp. actively interferes with attempts by some of its high-speed Internet subscribers to share files online, a move that runs counter to the tradition of treating all types of Net traffic equally.

The interference, which The Associated Press confirmed through nationwide tests, is the most drastic example yet of data discrimination by a U.S. Internet service provider. It involves company computers masquerading as those of its users.

—AP via Talking Points Memo

Most indicative line of the day, so far

“It’s six in a row retired by Beckett — tailing fastball to Gutierrez. (Pause) I said six in a row — that’s ten in a row. One more time, the third time’s the charm — nine in a row retired by Beckett.”

—Tim McCarver last night

300 million people in this country and Tim McCarver is covering baseball’s premier games.

October 19th

America 2000 Peter Max

Today is the birthday

… of Bob Strauss, the politico and diplomat. Ambassador Strauss is 89. Once upon a time NewMexiKen’s boss was Bob Strauss Jr.

… of John LeCarre. The author is 76.

… of Peter Max. The artist is 70.

… of John Lithgow. He’s 62. He’s become somewhat a buffoon on TV in the sitcoms and commercials. Makes it hard to remember that he’s twice been nominated for the best supporting actor Oscar — Terms of Endearment and The World According to Garp.

… of Jeannie C. Riley, singer of the hit “Harper Valley P.T.A.” She, too, is 62.

… of Jennifer Holliday. The Tony Award winner is 47.

… of Evander Holyfield, 45.

… of one-time first daughter Amy Carter. Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter’s little girl is 40.

Robert Reed was born on this date in 1932. A fine actor but one who will always be remembered most as the dad on The Brady Bunch. Reed’s best TV role was as Kenneth Preston, son in the excellent early 1960s father-son lawyer drama The Defenders. His father was played by E. G. Marshall. Reed died in 1992.

Winston Hubert McIntosh was born on this date in 1944. A founding member of The Wailers, Peter Tosh also was an international solo star and songwriter. He was shot and killed along with five others by a friend during an argument on September 11, 1987.

226 years ago today the British army surrendered to the Americans and French at Yorktown, Virginia, in effect ending the War for American Independence.

In early October, some 17,000 American and French troops led by Generals George Washington and Jean-Baptiste Rochambeau surrounded British-occupied Yorktown. Off the coast, French Admiral François de Grasse strategically positioned his naval fleet to control access to the town via the Chesapeake Bay and the York River.

The Franco-American siege exhausted the British army’s supplies of food and ammunition. With no hope for escape, Cornwallis agreed to the terms of Washington’s Articles of Capitulation, signing the document at Moore House on October 19. Hours after the surrender, the general’s defeated troops marched out of Yorktown to the tune “The World Turned Upside Down.”

Cornwallis’s surrender at Yorktown effectively ended the Revolutionary War. Lacking the financial resources to raise a new army, the British government appealed to the Americans for peace. Almost two years later, on September 3, 1783, the signing of the Treaty of Paris brought the war to an end.

[Source: Library of Congress]

Clutter

Ask the pilot’s Patrick Smith answers some questions, but first gets off on a little rant. Here’s an excerpt:

There are lots of things to dislike about hotel rooms: temperamental air conditioning, ugly carpeting, toe-breaking doorjambs. Here’s another one: cardboard brochures. Nowadays, every hotel amenity, from room service to Wi-Fi, is hawked through one or more annoying cardboard advertisements displayed throughout the room. …

My favorites are the signs boasting of the hotel’s dedication to the environment.

Good line

Arlen Specter at last night’s “Funniest Celebrity in Washington Contest:

Bob told me Elizabeth [Dole] was very angry with him because he complained about the cost of Viagra.

He said ‘You know, Arlen, they cost $10 a pill. And I said, ‘Bob, how in the hell would I know about that.’

And then Elizabeth said to him in anger, ‘Bob, you can afford $40 a year.’

Imponderables

David Pogue has a long list of good questions. Here’s just three of them:

• Why is Wi-Fi free at cheap hotels, but $14 a night at expensive ones?

• What’s the real reason you have to turn off your laptop for takeoff?

• Why don’t all hotels have check-in kiosks like airlines do?

The answer to the second of these I believe is so laptops won’t go flying around if the plane stops abruptly in an aborted takeoff and to keep passengers from being distracted and encumbered during an emergency evacuation.

More fuel to the argument that Washington celebrities never left fifth grade

Time’s Karen Tumulty reports on the 14th annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington Contest.

I neglected to mention the Honorable Mention won by C-SPAN’s Robb Harlston, who was the only contestant to do the requisite Larry Craig portion of his routine with a piece of toilet paper trailing from the back of his pants. Also, just about everyone’s act got interrupted by a cell phone call from Judith Giuliani.

Such originality.