The Woman Who Struck Out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig

“I learned plenty of strange facts this weekend at the Baseball Hall of Fame. But by far, the most amazing story I heard was this one: about a 17-year old girl who struck out two of the biggest names in baseball, only to be kicked out of the sport.”

Read all about it at the mental_floss Blog. I’d never heard about Virnett Mitchell before, had you?

33 days

“Today, Barack Obama has 269 electoral votes outside the battleground zone. That is, if you only give Obama the states he is projected to win by more than five points, that is enough to get him an Electoral College tie, which is essentially the same as a win.”

FiveThirtyEight.com (the best source for polling information and forecasts).

Obama gets 269 even if the margin is upped to six points. New Mexico (+9.3%) and Colorado (+6.1%) are included in the 269.

In addition, FiveThirtyEight.com says “[W]e project Obama victories in Virginia (4.4%), New Hampshire (3.4%), Ohio (2.4%), Florida (2.4%), and Nevada (2.1%), with Indiana a tie.”

That’s 338.

But anything can happen.

Debate preview

1. A constitutional right to privacy, which Palin says we have, and Antonin Scalia, for one, says we don’t, is the very underpinning of Roe v. Wade. Palin’s answer undermines 35 years of “right to life” talking points.

2. If a right is constitutional, then under the 14th amendment states cannot abridge that right — “No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” Palin says the right is constitutional but up to the states. Sorry Governor, not since 1868.

The right to privacy was recognized by the Supreme Court in 1965 in Griswold v. Connecticut, a case where the Court found a Connecticut law prohibiting the distribution of contraceptives to be unconstitutional.

NewMexiKen gets email

The funniest Staff Meeting Ever!

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and createed a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch some one.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your peepee. This is your peepee on drugs!

I didn’t vote for him

“It would have been nice to let Bush’s two terms marinate a while before invoking Herbert Hoover and James Buchanan from the cellar of worst presidents. But then — over the last two weeks — he completed the trilogy of national disasters that will be with us for a generation or more.”

Timothy Egan, who adds:

“If ever there was an argument for voting against politicians who are confident about their cluelessness, Bush is it. So it was heartening to see that a majority of the country, in some polls, now views Sarah Palin as unqualified to be president.”

And they vote

Middle aged woman #1: I saw that woman of The Cosby Show near Wall Street yesterday.

Middle aged woman #2: Wow, you did not! Which one?

Middle aged woman #1: Whoopi Goldberg–the one that was married to Bill Cosby in the show!

Middle aged woman #2: Oh yeah, I remember her. I think she changed her name to Whoopi Cosby now.

–A Train

Overheard in New York

Strangest line of the day, so far

“Sales of new homes fall to a 17-year low in August, government data show, raising further concern about conditions in the housing industry.”

Market Watch

Hello. Further concerns!?!? Housing?!?!

That makes as much sense as “The fact that President Kennedy was shot through the head in 1963 and would be 91 years old in 2008 raised further concerns that he was dead.”

Cure worse than the disease

“The banking system needs another $500 billion to survive beyond the $700 billion rescue plan being contemplated by Congress, said Pimco founder Bill Gross.

“Gross said on CNBC that the government bailout plan will help free up bank balance sheets so they can start lending again, but will provide only about $50 billion in real capital to the system.”

CNBC.com

Fuck it. Just give it all to them. The dollar won’t be worth anything anyway.

Scared yet?

The Administration just makes shit up

In fact, some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt, are fuzzy.

“It’s not based on any particular data point,” a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”

Forbes.com

From my email

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

Via Cheers and Jeers.

Current Threat Level

All I can believe is that they figured out that the old terrorism threat level scheme (aka crying wolf) wouldn’t work this time around — like it did in 2004. So they’ve installed a financial threat level to scare us with instead.

And while I think of it, how come with all the shit we go through to get on an airplane, the threat level on all flights is still orange? Shouldn’t the threat level on airplanes of all places be green by now?