Category: Sports

Mark Cuban calls it like he sees it — and puts his money where his mouth is.

I was listening to the Dan Patrick Show and they had Sam Smith on, my buddy from the Chicago Tribune. Let’s just hope the accountants for the Tribune Company have a higher regard for accuracy in reporting than Sam the Sham does.

Perfect example of Sam in action is Jerry West going on the air during the draft saying the Grizz can’t afford to trade for Shaq. Then Sham chimes on the show saying Shaq is going to Memphis. Sam then does his daily rip on the Mavs and, in particular, our new draft pick, Pavel who he calls a stiff.

How about this for a challenge Sam the Sham Smith?…I will donate 10k dollars to the charity of your choice if you can prove that you have ever seen Pavel play in person or on tape — excluding the footage on the ESPN draft shows. Two minutes of ESPN tape doesn’t qualify as scouting. If you lose, you change your business card title and Tribune byline to “Sports Gossip Columnist”. I will even pay for the cards.

From Morning Briefing:

A Texas couple decided two years ago to name their newborn son ESPN. This after another Texas couple had named their son Espn and a Michigan couple had named their son Espen.

ESPN, never one to miss an opportunity for self-promotion, is planning a special on the three youngsters.

“Not sure what the show will be called,” writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, “but I would suggest, ‘My Parents Are Idiots.’ “

Reported by Dwight Perry in Sideline Chatter:

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, with a legal update from Colorado: “There was a new motion by the defense Monday in the Kobe Bryant trial, but the motion was blocked by Detroit’s Ben Wallace.”

Michael Bérubé on how to perfect soccer:

I have long thought that soccer– known in some parts of the world, namely, everywhere but here, as “football”– is almost the perfect sport. It involves intense, explosive large-muscle-group strength, incredible cardiovascular stamina, and stunning small-muscle-group finesse and coordination. It also has nearly-ideal combinations of individual virtuosity with team effort, skill with chance, and synoptic strategy with sudden bursts of impromptu brilliance. But unfortunately, the sport has deep structural flaws, the most notorious of which is its “offsides” rule, which prevents players from sprinting behind defenses. And don’t even try to defend the inane “shootout” as a means of deciding games: at the very least, the players should run in from midfield and/or shoot from outside the penalty area. Shooting from 11m out is a joke. The main problem, though, is that the scale of soccer is too big. The way I figure it, if soccer would just reduce the size of its field, reduce the number of players on the field, make the ball smaller and harder and flatten it on both ends, make the goal smaller, put up boards and glass around the boundaries, cover the field in ice, and give everybody sticks, then you’d have the perfect sport.

Brushback.com, The Onion wannabe for sports.

“Officials at a prison in Thailand arranged a soccer game between inmates and elephants. The two teams played to a 5-5 tie, then the elephants were returned to their regular stamping grounds — the greens at Shinnecock Hills.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle

The Daytona Cubs give away an unusual item to the first 500 fans.

In another unique promotion by the Daytona Cubs, Friday night will be the first ever jock-strap give-away at Jackie Robinson Ballpark. The first 500 fans through the gates, will receive a FREE atheltic supporter courtesy of your Daytona Cubs.

Link via Dave Barry.

Go read the whole column by Sally Jenkins on the “run-amok investigation of U.S. track and field athletes,” Due Process? Not For Track Stars. An excerpt:

Here is an example of the kind of job USADA is doing in its inquiry into Jones’s ties to BALCO. Several weeks ago, Jones met with a trio of USADA officials, including Madden. They presented her with a calendar that purported to be her BALCO doping schedule. It bore several notations and the initials MJ.

“That’s not my calendar,” she said.

“Then why does it have your sprint times on it?”

Jones replied evenly, “If those are my sprint times, then I just shattered the world record by a second.”

The sprint times on the calendar could not have been those of Jones, or of any woman. They were too fast. The USADA representatives didn’t even recognize the difference between the sprint times of a male and a female.

You get an uneasy feeling from watching USADA’s bumbling zealots. You get the feeling they’d waive the U.S. Constitution if they could — which is a pretty unsettling thing to feel about an organization that is funded by U.S. taxpayer dollars and a grant from the White House.

Jenkins points out that while taking performance enhancers may be cheating, it isn’t a crime. Leaking grand jury testimony is, however, and that has happened in this case.

From Morning Briefing in the Los Angeles Times:

Dallas Maverick owner Mark Cuban, when asked by the Detroit Free Press if other NBA teams would try to copy the Pistons’ blueprint for success:

“The Pistons are a very good basketball team. When you play New Jersey and get into a situation where Jason Kidd is hurt, then you play Indiana and you have a situation where Jermaine O’Neal gets hurt, then you play the Lakers and Karl Malone gets hurt … that’s the scenario I want to copy.”

According to George Vescey in The New York Times —

In another month, [Griffey] could be attractive to a rich contender, maybe even the Yankees, even though he once vowed never to play for them.

He has not forgotten how the ogres George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin told him to pipe down when he was playing in the hallway outside the clubhouse, after being taken to work by his father.

Also from Sideline Chatter —

Craig Kilborn of CBS, with good news for Lakers fans bummed over the NBA Finals:
“Kobe feels so guilty, you’re all getting diamond rings.”

From Sideline Chatter —

The only way Italy would fail to advance in the Euro 2004 soccer tournament was if Sweden and Denmark, also in Italy’s Group C, played to a 2-2 tie yesterday in Porto, Portugal.

They played to a 2-2 tie.

Italy was so rife with conspiracy theories beforehand that RAI, the state-run broadcaster, installed an extra camera behind each goal in hopes of picking up any shenanigans. And Italian reporters drew the ire of the Swedes and Danes by peppering them with questions about a possible fix.

Wrote Jon Brodkin of The Guardian of London: “Giovanni Trapattoni, Italy’s coach, has been a voice of reason, but some of his countrymen have failed to grasp that it would not be the Danish or Swedish manner to strike a deal.

“When Italian journalists asked their Swedish counterparts what the Swedish word is for ‘fix,’ they were stunned to be told that there was not one.

“In Italian, they pointed out, there are about 20.”

From Dwight Perry at Sideline Chatter in The Seattle Times:

Steve Kavanaugh of Seattle has broken the U.S. boomerang record for consecutive catches, snagging 826 return flights to better the old mark of 819, the Washington Boomerang Club announced.

Not only that, you have to like his chances for Comeback Player of the Year.

Sally Jenkins has also had enough:

At what point do we say this is no slump, this is who Tiger Woods really is? What if the former Wonder Boy is just a sour complainer named Eldrick whose manners are as lousy as his play is disappointing?

We could have an endless debate about whether Woods has lost his golf swing, but he’s in definite danger of losing something else, and that’s the good opinion of his audience. The Woods who played in the U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills this week was not an especially great player, nor was he a very good guy. Among the things that Woods blamed for his final round of 76, his worst final round in an Open since turning pro, and 10-over-par finish: the weather, the United States Golf Association, modern photography, the press and his former coach, Butch Harmon.

Jenkins has some choice words about caddie Steve Williams, too.

Ron Sirak of Golf World likes “a brutally difficult test of golf for the final round of the U.S. Open…for the national championship that is as it should be.”

He’s clearly skilled, and obviously quite popular with the gallery, but is there anyone who looks less like an athlete than Phil Mickelson? And what’s with the wristwatch? He have an appointment somewhere this afternoon?

Update: Maybe he wore the watch to remember his appointment with the throat specialist.

From Morning Edition in the Los Angeles Times:

Jack Nicklaus, commenting on his steadily declining golf game: “Everyone has always wanted to play like Nicklaus. Now they really can.”

NewMexiKen has been a Lakers fan for a long time and remained loyal until way past too late Tuesday. But the Pistons may have won me over.

Rasheed Wallace showed up at the Pistons celebration Thursday wearing a Gordie Howe Detroit Red Wings sweater. Nothing will render a native Detroiter’s heart faster than memories of Mr. Hockey.

NewMexiKen posted this item on the Albquerque Isotopes baseball team after attending a game last August. The AAA team is affiliated with the World Champion Florida Marlins.

The Isotopes get their name from the Simpsons. According to the Simpsons Episode Guide, in “Hungry, Hungry, Homer”:

Homer becomes a Good Samaritan after seeing the benefit of helping people. When he attempts to get Lenny a refund on his Springfield Isotopes season tickets, Homer discovers that the baseball team’s new owner, Duff Beer, plans to move the team to Albuquerque. Homer tries to rally the town in protest, however, no one believes his allegation. To expose Duff’s plan, he stages a hunger strike by chaining himself to a light pole near the stadium. Days later, the Duff Corporation deems Homer their ballpark attraction. They unchain him and tempt his cravings with an Isotope Dog Supreme. Before eating it, Homer realizes that the Southwestern ingredients on the hot dog prove that the team is moving to Albuquerque.

Actually the Isotopes moved here from Calgary, where they were the Cannons.