Category: Politics & Elections

Definite Frasier-like qualities

From Wonkette:

At one point, Kerry seemed a little irony-challenged. He greeted a young man in a “Titanic Swim Team” t-shirt and asked what events he swam. The embarrassed kid said he was actually on his high school track team. “So you stole the shirt?” Kerry joked. “I thought you were on the swim team. You faked me out there.”

Questions for the debate

Altercation has a series of reader-suggested questions. NewMexiKen’s favorite:

Question: Mr. President, you have accused John Kerry of not supporting the troops because he did not vote in favor of the funding bill that contained funds for basic soldier gear such as body armor. My question is who sent them into battle without that equipment in the first place?

Fair is as fair does

“John Kerry said that you can’t have fair and free elections in a place where there’s no rule of law. President Bush said, ‘Oh yeah, what if your brother’s governor of that state?'”

“Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd because the Democrats are saying the exact same thing about President Bush.”

— Jay Leno

Hey morons!
(that’s who the Republicans think reside in Arkansas and West Virginia)

Report in The New York Times — Republicans Admit Mailing Campaign Literature Saying Liberals Will Ban the Bible

The Republican Party acknowledged yesterday sending mass mailings to residents of two states warning that “liberals” seek to ban the Bible. It said the mailings were part of its effort to mobilize religious voters for President Bush.

The mailings include images of the Bible labeled “banned” and of a gay marriage proposal labeled “allowed.” A mailing to Arkansas residents warns: “This will be Arkansas if you don’t vote.” A similar mailing was sent to West Virginians.

No saved person left behind

The following is from Bill Moyers’ speech at the Society of Professional Journalists national convention on September 11, 2004:

How do we explain the possibility that a close election in November could turn on several million good and decent citizens who believe in the Rapture Index? That’s what I said – the Rapture Index; google it and you will understand why the best-selling books in America today are the twelve volumes of the left-behind series which have earned multi-millions of dollars for their co-authors who earlier this year completed a triumphant tour of the Bible Belt whose buckle holds in place George W. Bush’s armor of the Lord. These true believers subscribe to a fantastical theology concocted in the l9th century by a couple of immigrant preachers who took disparate passages from the Bible and wove them into a narrative millions of people believe to be literally true.

According to this narrative, Jesus will return to earth only when certain conditions are met: when Israel has been established as a state; when Israel then occupies the rest of its “biblical lands;” when the third temple has been rebuilt on the site now occupied by the Dome of the Rock and Al-Aqsa mosques; and, then, when legions of the Antichrist attack Israel. This will trigger a final showdown in the valley of Armageddon during which all the Jews who have not converted will be burned. Then the Messiah returns to earth. The Rapture occurs once the big battle begins. True believers” will be lifted out of their clothes and transported to heaven where, seated next to the right hand of God, they will watch their political and religious opponents suffer plagues of boils, sores, locusts and frogs during the several years of tribulation which follow.

I’m not making this up. We’re reported on these people for our weekly broadcast on PBS, following some of them from Texas to the West Bank. They are sincere, serious, and polite as they tell you that they feel called to help bring the Rapture on as fulfillment of biblical prophecy. That’s why they have declared solidarity with Israel and the Jewish settlements and backed up their support with money and volunteers. It’s why they have staged confrontations at the old temple site in Jerusalem. It’s why the invasion of Iraq for them was a warm-up act, predicted in the 9th chapter of the Book of Revelations where four angels “which are bound in the great river Euphrates will be released “to slay the third part of men.’ As the British writer George Monbiot has pointed out, for these people the Middle East is not a foreign policy issue, it’s a biblical scenario, a matter of personal belief. A war with Islam in the Middle East is not something to be feared but welcomed; if there’s a conflagration there, they come out winners on the far side of tribulation, inside the pearly gates, in celestial splendor, supping on ambrosia to the accompaniment of harps plucked by angels.

One estimate puts these people at about l5% of the electorate. Most are likely to vote Republican; they are part of the core of George W. Bush’s base support. He knows who they are and what they want. When the President asked Ariel Sharon to pull his tanks out of Jenin in 2002, over one hundred thousand angry Christian fundamentalists barraged the White House with emails and Mr. Bush never mentioned the matter again. Not coincidentally, the administration recently put itself solidly behind Ariel Sharon’s expansions of settlements on the West Banks. In George Monbiot’s analysis, the President stands to lose fewer votes by encouraging Israeli expansion into the West Bank than he stands to lose by restraining it. “He would be mad to listen to these people, but he would also be mad not to.” No wonder Karl Rove walks around the West Wing whistling “Onward Christian Soldiers.” He knows how many votes he is likely to get from these pious folk who believe that the Rapture Index now stands at 144 — just one point below the critical threshold at which point the prophecy is fulfilled, the whole thing blows, the sky is filled with floating naked bodies, and the true believers wind up at the right hand of God. With no regret for those left behind.

The whole speech is well-worth your time.

On-going investigation

From Juanita:

The story isn’t that Tom DeLay didn’t get indicted. The story is that everyone he knows, or has ever had lunch with, did.

Nah, I’m just kidding. Not everyone.

However, if you were to draw a triangle of love, trust, and dependence around Tom, all three corners of it are facing the distinct possibility of life in prison with a roommate not of their own choosing. Plus, with all the corporations indicted, Tom can’t shop anywhere, eat out, make a phone call, turn on a light, or drink those little rum umbrella drinks without raising eyebrows from here to Washington, Dee Cee.

Jim Ellis, a snippy man who runs DeLay’s Americans for a Republican Majority PAC (ARMPAC), John Colyandro, the executive director of DeLay’s Texans for a Republican Majority (TRMPAC), and Warren Robold, a DeLay fundraiser, were all indicted on several counts of FeLony DeLay DeVotion.

The Senior Investigative Congressional Correspondent at the beauty shop called Tom DeLay’s office to get his response on all his best friends and closest aides getting indicted on more counts than they’ve got toes. Tom’s official reply was, “Oink. Oink oink. Oink, oink oink oink. Squish, spattle. Oink!”

No. I’m just kidding again. What Tom truly did say was much worse than that. They indict three of his closest friends and Tom’s reaction is, I promise I’m not making this up, his reaction is, “This just emphasizes what I’ve said all along — that this investigation isn’t about me.” He really said that. You can look it up.

Go read the rest.

They haven’t called me

From Jimmy Breslin:

Anybody who believes these national political polls are giving you facts is a gullible fool.

Any editors of newspapers or television news shows who use poll results as a story are beyond gullible. On behalf of the public they profess to serve, they are indolent salesmen of falsehoods.

This is because these political polls are done by telephone. Land-line telephones, as your house phone is called.

The telephone polls do not include cellular phones. There are almost 169 million cell phones being used in America today – 168,900,019 as of Sept. 15, according to the cell phone institute in Washington.

There is no way to poll cell phone users, so it isn’t done.

Read more from Breslin.

Most Indians aren’t even Indians

Scary jibberish from Tom Coburn, Republican candidate for U.S. Senator in Oklahoma:

All right, listen, I know the tribal issues. I was a congressman where most of the Indians are in this state. The problem is that most of them aren’t Indians. The average Cherokee quantum is 1/512. All right, most people in this room have more Cherokee in them than the Cherokee. All right, and they want to grow that because as they grow their rolls, what happens is they get more money from the federal government. The worst thing that can happen is to have 37 DEQs, 37 EPAs, and 37 tribal courts that you’re going to have to deal with in this state, and I won’t let that happen if I’m a U.S. Senator.

Altus Town Hall, 8/21/04

The Democratic candidate, Brad Carson, is a member of the Cherokee Nation.

Thanks to Ralph for the info.

It’s a miracle

An Israeli doctor says…..”Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor says……..”That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor says…….”In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says…”You guys are way behind. We recently took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House for four years, and now half the country is looking for work.”

Found at Rain Storm.

Ivan made me do it

From Reuters —

Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader’s name can appear on Florida ballots for the election, despite a court order to the contrary, Florida’s elections chief told officials on Monday in a move that could help President Bush in the key swing state. [Emphasis added.] …

In a memo to Florida’s 67 county supervisors of elections, Division of Elections director Dawn Roberts said the uncertainty of Hurricane Ivan, which could hit parts of the state by week’s end, forced her to act.

Pants on fire

The administration claims to have a plan to cut the deficit in half over the next five years. But even Bruce Bartlett, a longtime tax-cut advocate, points out that “projections showing deficits falling assume that Bush’s tax cuts expire on schedule.” But Mr. Bush wants those tax cuts made permanent. That is, the administration has a “plan” to reduce the deficit that depends on Congress’s not passing its own legislation. [Emphasis added.]

Paul Krugman in The New York Times

Mother knows best

South Knox Bubba’s Mom takes the long view —

I was talking to my Mom the other day. She’s an FDR New Deal Yellow Dog Democrat. I don’t think she’s ever voted for a Republican, except maybe Jimmy Duncan.

I was shocked when she said she would probably vote for Bush. Her reasoning is that she wants him to be responsible for “cleaning up the mess.”

I told her it would be better to fire him and get somebody capable of cleaning up the mess he made. Mrs. Bubba says my Mom is thinking ahead to 2008. Four more years of Bush will put Republicans in the dog house for a long, long time. My Mom is smart like that, and her generation knows about sacrifice for the long term and the greater good.