Category: Politics & Elections

Egad!

“One is too polished; the other one, I think to be honest, I don’t know how he ever got to be president,” Ms. Parmer said. “I am really surprised he has gotten as far as he has in life. I do think he’s honest.”

Even so, Ms. Parmer said, she thought she might vote for Mr. Bush. “If you actually look at him, and he stands up next to Kerry, you just kind of feel sorry for him,” she said. “I feel he’s more of an underdog, he’s had a hard go of it in the last four years.”

The New York Times

I don’t get it

NewMexiKen understands why some people, especially Republicans, don’t care for John Kerry. I think they’re wrong, but I understand.

What I don’t understand is how any American could vote to give George Bush four more years to put American soldiers in harm’s way. Bush and his national security people lied about why we needed to go to war. They have incompetently managed the war. And now they are lying about their incompetence.

To me, this alone, rises above all other interests and issues. You simply cannot reward this behavior and say you support the troops.

Yup!

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Texas Rancher (whose hand had been caught in a gate while working cattle), a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House.

Then the old Texan said, “Well, ya know, G. W. Bush is a ‘post turtle.'”

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old man said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.”

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain.

“You know he didn’t get there by himself, he doesn’t belong there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and you just want to help the poor, stupid bastard get down.”

What he said

Somehow, it’s gotten into the heads of various government gumshoes — and, worse, into the heads of some important journalism types — that popping a big story before the election is somehow “unfair,” and might “unduly influence” the outcome.

Hello?

— Charles Pierce at Altercation

Maybe she needed some Powdermilk Biscuits

From AP via the Chicago Tribune —

A northeastern Indiana congressional candidate said she abruptly ended a debate because she got stage fright.

Democrat Maria Parra walked off a television stage Thursday, ending what would have been her only debate with incumbent Republican Mark Souder in the 3rd District congressional race.

“I’m not used to being in front of the camera. … I couldn’t get my words out. I was just overwhelmed.”

Vote early, vote often

In an unusual series of events, the Navajo Tribal Council endorsed U.S. Rep. Rick Renzi for re-election to Congress on Monday with a unanimous vote, rejected Democratic challenger Paul Babbitt on Tuesday and then changed its position by voting in favor of Babbitt Wednesday.

Which is to say, the council supports both candidates, although Renzi has a unanimous vote and Babbitt’s endorsement passed by a 40-36 vote.

From the Arizona Daily Sun

What would Johnny say?

“In an interview in USA Today, Teresa Heinz Kerry said she didn’t think Laura Bush, who was a public school librarian for nine years, had ever held a ‘real job.’ Let me tell you something, if you’re a librarian married to George W. Bush, there is no harder job on earth.”
—Jay Leno

“But down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, ‘Mission accomplished!'”
—David Letterman

“A man was arrested in Ohio after being paid in crack to register voters. They were paying people in crack to register voters. You know it’s scary enough that the election is going to be decided by the undecided. But to be decided by undecided crack heads. That’s really bad.”
—Jay Leno

Mary, never a lamb

Jill, official oldest daughter of NewMexiKen, attended high school with Mary Cheney, though Jill played softball and Mary played field hockey. Mary once had a dispute in chemistry class with an obnoxious substitute teacher who had made some disparaging comments about females. He finally told Mary that the reason she was so mouthy must be that she did not have a strong father figure at home. Mary, unknown to him, was the daughter of the then Secretary of Defense. She strode out of class and within about five minutes the principal returned to escort the substitute from the classroom.

Even then the Cheneys knew how to quiet their critics, though in chemistry class at least, Mary seemed willing to stand up for her values.

[Actually NewMexiKen believes Ms. Cheney is standing up for what’s important to her. Her father is important to her. And that’s all right with me.]

Class. Class. CLAAASS!

So George is doing yet another photo op at an elementary school, and this one’s been going pretty well, so he offers to take questions. A little boy raises his hand.

“Okay, you,” says George, smiling. “What’s your name?”

“Billy.”

“Billy. And what’s your question?”

“I have three questions,” Billy says. “First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where’s Osama bin Laden?”

George is taken aback. “Uh, those are really hard questions,” he says.

Just then the bell rings. “Whoops, time for recess!” George says. “Guess I’ll have to answer your questions when recess is over.”

After recess, when the kids have settled back down again, George says “Okay, who’s got a question?”

A little kid raises his hand, and George calls on him.

“What’s your name?” George asks.

“Steve.”

“Okay, Steve. What’s your question?”

“I have five questions,” Steve says. “First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where’s Osama bin Laden? Fourth, why did the bell for recess ring twenty minutes early? And fifth, what happened to Billy?”

[Stolen unabashedly from Making Light.]

Our far-flung correspondents

Nora reports on the real star at a Ken Salazar rally Saturday —

[Salazar] was introduced by Barack Obama. Obama spoke for approximately twenty minutes and he was, as you might expect, phenomenal. His message was necessarily similar to those of the other speakers (vote Democratic in November), but his personality and his thought process eclipsed all the other politicians’ speeches. He has this way of instantly making you feel like you know him, and he delivers his anecdotes so that you immediately understand why you have a responsibility to help people you don’t know. There was a stark contrast between Obama and Salazar — Illinois is lucky to have him.

Ken Salazar is running for the U.S. Senate in Colorado. Barack Obama is running for the U.S. Senate in Illinois.

Jeb Bush isn’t our governor

From Bryan Curtis’ essay at Slate on swing state New Mexico (September 10, 2004):

Al Gore won New Mexico by 366 votes in 2000, and I’ve managed to track down the man who delivered them. … On Election Day 2000, George W. Bush appeared to narrowly win New Mexico’s five electoral votes. But more than three weeks later, with the nation’s attention glued to Florida, Davis, a retired engineer from White Sands, “discovered” 500 Gore votes that had somehow eluded the counters. Amid the howls of local Republicans, New Mexico shifted into the Gore column. If Gore had carried one more small state—West Virginia, say, or New Hampshire—New Mexico might have been Florida and Davis its Katherine Harris.

…. Davis had wandered into Dona Ana County’s adobe courthouse one morning, when he ran into the county clerk, Rita Torres. Torres needed a Democrat to monitor the formal vote canvassing, so Davis joined a Republican operative in Room 104. “I was sitting there next to the Republican representative, and he said, ‘Look at all these stupid Democrats, they didn’t even vote for president,’ ” Davis says. “It just didn’t jibe.” In fact, a worker in a heavily Democratic precinct had scrawled the number “620” on a tally sheet so poorly that it looked like “120”—thus, 500 Gore votes had vanished.

The polls

“The latest polls say Bush and Kerry are in a dead heat. Reuters’ three-day tracking poll says it’s tied at 45 percent; the CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll has it 49 percent Kerry and 48 percent Bush. In an election this close, it’s gonna come down to who wants it more and which candidate’s brother is governor of Florida.”

Jimmy Kimmel