Category: Silliness

It’s A Wonderful Life in 30 seconds with bunnies.

From Brad DeLong’s Semi-Daily Journal: A Weblog:

And then there was the sign I saw on a door in the twisty maze of little passages all alike scores of feet below the classrooms of Berkeley’s College of Chemistry:

     PLEASE HELP US TO BETTER SERVE YOU BY
     PROVIDING AT LEAST 24 HOURS’ NOTICE (48
     IF POSSIBLE) OF YOUR LIQUID HELIUM
     REQUIREMENTS.

I don’t know about you, but I am generally able to anticipate my liquid helium requirements more than 72 hours in advance…

First it was the loaves — a grilled cheese with Mary’s face — and then it was the fishes — a fish stick with Jesus’ face — so here from The Edge in The Oregonian are the Top 10 Lesser Known Food Miracles:

10. Fats Domino’s Pizza.

9. Meatloaf Meatloaf.

8. Bag of tiny colorful chocolate-coated candies with Mary Magdalene’s initials inscribed on each one.

7. The Edvard Munch “I Scream” Sandwich.

6. The Abe Vigoda/Erik Estrada plate of fish & chips.

5. Indiana Pacers’ knuckle sandwich and a glass of Ron Artest’s sucker punch.

4. The falafel sandwich bearing the image of Bill O’Reilly.

3. The visage of Elvis on black Velveeta.

2. The image of Dennis Franz’s buttocks in a Moon Pie.

And the number one lesser known food miracle: The 23rd Psalami on Rye.

EggOn!, the egg timer add-on for Firefox.

Of course, there are issues with this (as with all) software:

• Due to the ideological bias of some team members the soft egg setting is too hard
• Timer does not currently calibrate to higher elevations [a major defect for NewMexiKen]

Link via Discourse.net

A silly but amusing 21st century school book review of To Kill a Mockingbird (sorta). [Video]

[Update: This is actually way too long to be worth it, but I’ll leave the link here in case time is of no value to you.]

It seems this desktop has contacted a virus.

Link via Dave Barry.

Take a look.

The Smoking Gun reports that Washington state is keeping us safe from vanity plate abuse. Among others, they have disallowed the license plates IB6UB9, GO2HELL and OLDFART.

Pardon me if I mourn the lost coffee more than the spider who died what must have been an unpleasant death in the carafe sometime between the first cup and the expected second cup this morning.

The General, A 10 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender, fears his shortcomings have been revealed. Funny story, worth a click.

The General tells us, “At first they thought it was my heart, but they later attributed my chest pain and tightness to some kind of virus in my chest wall–in other words they couldn’t figure it out.” Sounds all too familiar to NewMexiKen.

The web site Timothy McSweeney’s has, among other things, a number of amusing lists. Recent ones include:

Some Possibilities in a Half-Hearted Campaign to Rename the Middle West

Really Boring Books for Children

Old Bumper Stickers Updated

How to Tell If Your Employer Has You Under Surveillance

Here.

Ralph had this story he got from a friend:

Several of my former co-workers have asked what retired people, like me, do to make their days interesting.

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?”

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a piece of shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes.. the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn’t give a damn. My car was parked around the corner.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important at my age.

Sounds like fun.

Here is an example of the kind of item NewMexiKen refuses to link to. Look out the window of the third photo down.

Quick, before they pull the photo.

Link via Functional Ambivalent who got it from Farm Accident Digest.

Yet another in a series of occasional household tips based on NewMexiKen’s personal experience:

When intending to keep the remaining coffee warm after pouring the first cup, it’s best to place the carafe back on the hot plate of the coffee maker, rather than on the counter.

Previous hints here and here.

NewMexiKen’s list of the top ten reasons to chose another restaurant if you want to impress your date or customer:

10. You pay before you eat

9. You pay after you eat, but you stand in line and pay a cashier

8. More men eating with caps/hats on than those without caps/hats

7. The piped-in-music is louder than the TVs

6. Soup served with soup spoon already in soup

5. They fill the condiments while you’re at the table

4. Menu includes photos of the food

3. Menu includes samples of the food stuck to pages

2. They wipe your table with a wet rag

And the number one reason to chose another restaurant if you want to impress your date or customer

They wipe the seats of the chairs with the same rag

Jaws in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies. Enjoy!

Update: Titanic in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

Joel Achenbach wrote this terrific little piece about Starbucks last August. He begins:

Going to Starbucks is one of the most challenging and worrisome things an urban person can do. It is not for the faint of heart or the indecisive of mind. It is an exact science, like human space flight. The slightest misstep can mean disaster.

There is, for starters, the important question of which Starbucks to patronize. In many modern American cities, people have a bewildering number of Starbuckses to choose from. (You may recall that the Starbucks pandemic inspired a story in the Onion about a Starbucks opening in the bathroom of an existing Starbucks.)

If you’ve ever been, you will probably enjoy Joel’s essay. Unless, that is, caffeine withdrawal is making you cranky.

Sign via Church Sign Generator.

Another in a series of occasional household tips based on NewMexiKen’s personal experience:

When making coffee with an automatic coffee-maker, always remember to place the carafe in the coffee-maker before starting to make coffee.

Reported by Harper’s:

Percentage change in Mattel’s first-quarter earnings last winter, when Barbie and Ken’s “break-up” was announced : -73

NewMexiKen always assumed much of Barbie’s success was due to Ken.

Time for a little silliness around here.

Link via Avedon Carol, who says she’s pretending she’s didn’t actually link to it.

NewMexiKen was told today I was a good patient after the dentist completed two restorations (fillings) somewhere just left of my right ear.

Atrios provides this insight from the Democratic convention:

Just because something looks like shampoo, doesn’t mean that it is.

This has been your helpful travel hint of the day.