Category: Silliness

And while I’m reposting

This too is from two years ago today.

1. Shouldn’t it be Jesus comma Christ (that is: Jesus, Christ), rather than Jesus Christ (no punctuation)? Christ is a title right, not technically part of his name?

2. Why is “frigging” acceptable and “f***ing” not? Aren’t words just symbols? So in this case isn’t frigging just a symbol for f***king?

3. There’s a sign I’ve seen a couple of times this week:

SLOW
MY DADDY
AND MOMMY
WORKS HERE

Now, understand I mean no disparagement to highway construction workers. That people drive recklessly through construction zones and endanger workers is an obscenity. And the sign is cute with its attempt to copy a young child’s lettering.

But this particular sign is just wrong. “My Daddy and Mommy Works Here.” Plural noun, singular verb. (Gasp!) Furthermore, do you suppose some kid actually has both his/her dad and mom working on the site? Daddies and mommies might both work there, but “My Daddy and Mommy”? Are we into nepotism in road construction? Doubtful.

Here’s what NewMexiKen suggests:

JESUS, CHRIST
SLOW DOWN
YOU FRIGGING ASSHOLE
PARENTS WORK HERE

Peeps Season

With glee, the Sunday Source announces its first-ever Peeps Diorama Contest.

Read that sentence again if you like.

We’re serious. It’s the start of Peeps season, when those marshmallowy chicks and rabbits clog checkout lines. Now you have an incentive to buy them (or use the ones that have been languishing in your pantry the past three Easters).

We want you to make a diorama of a famous occurrence or scene. It can be a historic or current event, or it can be a nod to pop culture. The one rule is that all the characters in the diorama must be played by Peeps.

(Our ideas? “The Peeple v. Larry Flynt.” Or Penelopeep Cruz in “Volver.” Or a scene from MTV’s “Peep My Ride.”)

The Washington Post

This’ll work as long as 4-year-old girls are getting married

If your nuptial dreams include a fairy-tale wedding, Walt Disney Co. might have the perfect solution.

The company is using its stable of imaginary princesses as inspiration for a new line of wedding gowns. Disney and bridal designer Kirstie Kelly have developed a line of ethereal gowns that pay homage to Cinderella, Jasmine, Snow White, Ariel and Sleeping Beauty.

“They will be high-fashion and very modern,” said Paulette Cleghorn, president of Designer Loft Productions, a New York public-relations firm representing Kelly. “We are modernizing the princess concept. There is a difference between a girl who is inspired by Snow White and one who wants to dress like Snow White.”

Orlando Sentinel

In Every Job That Must Be Done There Is an Element of Fun

Guy #1 flipping through showbill: So, what else has Mary Poppins done?

Girl #1: Greg*.

Guy #1: What?

Guy #2: Oh, yeah — you know Greg from work? Apparently he did the chick playing Mary Poppins back when they were both living in LA. He lost his virginity to her, in fact.

Girl #2: Wait, wait — you know a dude who cashed in his V card with Mary Poppins? Oh my god, that is just all sorts of awesome!

–Intermission of Mary Poppins

Overheard in New York and copied here because I loved their title.

Ice Queen

Shakespeare’s Sister has the story on the ice formation from heaven:

An ice formation inside a Morton, Texas, grocery store’s freezer is prompting tears from people who see it and has apparently answered the prayers of some visitors, according to a Local 6 News report.

Go read the article and see the photo of this thing and tell me there isn’t at least one other interpretation of the shape of this ice formation.

Digging a hole to China

When NewMexiKen was a kid we always heard about digging a hole to China. I see that even a recent television car ad shows a Jeep falling through to China.

At some point in school, however, I realized that the Earth being round and all, if I dug from North America straight into the ground I wouldn’t end up in China at all. For one thing, digging from north of the equator, I’d have to end up south of the equator.

But where would I come out? This has troubled me for decades, keeping me awake nights as I tried to calculate latitude and longitude in my head. (Hey, you count sheep, I imagine the globe.)

Well finally, someone has assembled a tool.

NewMexiKen poll update

“Carbon copy” was the clear winner over “courtesy copy” 24-6 despite the fact that there’s no evidence I can see for carbon in email. I suppose horseless carriage would win out over automobile with this crowd, too.

Dog is the true favorite for a friend. If you include the one vote for small (aka faux) dog, dogs beat cats 13-5. However, with the 10 votes rung up by duck and goat tied together, buffalo (aka bison) and fish, we may need a runoff election. Or let the Supreme Court decide, what the hell.

As for the look of the site, those votes keep trickling in. At the moment “old look” is leading “awesome” 35-34, with 4 for “nice.” Five voters cast their vote for Ralph Nader (“what new look”) and can’t really be considered. Those five are probably people who read the RSS feed, which remains unchanged and boring. There is some talk that “nice” will broker a deal with “awesome” so that the new look will win. But Fox News hasn’t reported yet, so who knows? And we still haven’t heard from Chicago.