There is much to love about living in Albuquerque — a climate with seasons, yet none of them extreme; affordable real estate and manageable traffic; a simple, yet attractive airport; red and green chiles.
And, as with all places, there are things worth lamenting — more than our share of violence; a police force that fails to police itself; awful newspapers (despite some good local writers); failing schools; no Crate and Barrel.
And there are three comparatively minor things that annoy NewMexiKen and that I would change in a second if I were emperor.
1. New Mexico’s largest and most comprehensive community college goes by the deplorable and self-defeating name Technical Vocational Institute (TVI). Could there be three words strung together that could possibly make its students feel more second class? And this despite programs in Business and Information Technology; Communications, Humanities and Social Sciences; Health, Wellness and Public Safety; and Mathematics, Sciences and Engineering that demonstrate a reasonably broad curriculum.
If I were emperor TVI would be renamed Albuquerque Community College, or Rio Grande Community College or Bernalillo Community College.
[Update: A name change is in the works, possibly Central New Mexico Community College or Community College of Central New Mexico. Thanks for getting me to do my homework, Kelly.]
2. The Rio Grande is (Sandia Crest notwithstanding) simply the best thing about the Duke City. America’s third longest river passes through the entire length of the city from north to south. And yet, at no place along the river can one stroll at the river’s edge. Yes, there are paths parallel to the river through the bosque (groove) that borders the river, and one can occasionally push aside the bushes and bugs and find the river’s edge. But nowhere can one stroll, or paddle, or stop and drink some wine or enjoy some New Mexican cuisine and watch the river roll by. With lesser rivers, San Antonio and even Oklahoma City have made attractive river walks. Why not here?
If I were emperor I would forget about pandas for the zoo and new arenas and re-zone a few appropriate areas of the Rio Grande waterfront for commercial development. Inviting developers to such an area would, I believe, be so attractive that no public funding would be needed and safeguards to protect the natural beauty of the riverfront could be easily enforced.
3. For more than half of its 299 years this community was known as Alburquerque after the Spanish duke — note that the fifth letter is an “r”. When English-speaking settlers began arriving in the mid-to-late 19th century Alburquerque was corrupted to Albuquerque.
If I were emperor the name would revert to its orginal — AlbuRquerque. What the hell, most strangers can’t spell Albuquerque anyway — what’s another letter?