House of cards

One way to think of a person’s position in society is to imagine a hand of cards. Everyone is dealt four cards, one from each suit: education, income, occupation and wealth, the four commonly used criteria for gauging class. [Click here to see where you fit in the American population.] Face cards in a few categories may land a player in the upper middle class. At first, a person’s class is his parents’ class. Later, he may pick up a new hand of his own; it is likely to resemble that of his parents, but not always.

Bill Clinton traded in a hand of low cards with the help of a college education and a Rhodes scholarship and emerged decades later with four face cards. Bill Gates, who started off squarely in the upper middle class, made a fortune without finishing college, drawing three aces.

Class in America: Shadowy Lines That Still Divide

And some get the joker and some the Old Maid.

15 minutes just about up

“Remember how much fun it was, the Runaway Bride? Remember she was supposed to get married a couple weeks ago and she goes nuts and she hops on a bus and goes to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Her name is Jennifer Wilbanks and apparently she’s been arrested three times for shoplifting. But her fiancé, John Mason, John Mason, this guy says he still wants to marry her. John, listen to me: Have you ever heard the expression ‘dodged a bullet’?”

David Letterman

Bless me, father

“According to The National Enquirer, Michael Jackson has secretly sold his Neverland ranch for $35 million. The scary part – you know who the buyer is? The Boston Archdiocese.”

Jay Leno

Nez Perce National Historical Park

… was established on this date 40 years ago. According to the National Park Service:

Nez Perce

The 38 sites of Nez Perce National Historical Park are scattered across the states of Idaho, Oregon, Washington and Montana and have been designated to commemorate the stories and history of the Nimiipuu and their interaction with explorers, fur traders, missionaries, soldiers, settlers, gold miners, and farmers who moved through or into the area.

Omigod

According to No, You Can’t Just Dodder in today’s New York Times, the Rolling Stones aren’t just “aging rockers, they are also something else: active seniors.”

Oh, gimme a break. Isn’t it time to redefine “seniors” as an age that makes a little more sense than 55 or 60?

(Though, not before I cash in on a few more senior discounts.)

On the other hand there are those who go along with this remark found in the article: “‘I don’t want to keep my brain particularly active,’ she said. ‘I’d like to piddle about.'”

Desperate times

Visits to NewMexiKen have dropped dramatically in the past ten days as all of Ron Howard’s brother’s fans have finished their finals and gone home from college for the summer. Not having any studying to avoid, surfing the internets is of no use to them. Like Wal-Mart I’ve been living off my low-rent clientele and now that hard times are here my numbers are slipping.

What shall I do? Wal-Mart is considering reducing the clutter in its stores. Would that work for NewMexiKen?

Number nonsense

When a prominent athlete joins a new team after contract talks, the negotiations in a high-stakes numbers game have often only just begun. Jeff Feagles, the punter for the Giants, wore No. 10 until he sold it to the rookie quarterback Eli Manning last spring for a one-week vacation in Florida. Then Feagles switched to No. 17, which he sold this off-season to receiver Plaxico Burress for a new outdoor kitchen at his home in Phoenix.

What Is a Number Worth? Some Athletes Pay the Price – New York Times

NewMexiKen would be willing to sell the “III” after my name for the right deal.

Just in case you’ve been thinking about moving to Phoenix

The Arizona Republic predicts Phoenix will reach 100° F Monday, the first time this year (and a week later than average). Here’s some of their take on summer survival in the Valley of the Sun:

When the triple digits hit, hiding from the sun becomes a survival instinct. You run errands at night. You stay in the office for lunch, trolling the Web for cheap fares to San Diego. The chilly movie theater is Mecca, and there is no greater gift from the universe than a shady parking spot.

“I would probably drive around 10 to 12 times” before settling for a spot in the sun, Phoenix resident Jillian Cooper said. Cooper works at Biltmore Fashion Park in Phoenix, where everyone fights for the uncovered, close-to-the-mall parking spots that line Camelback Road in the winter, then hightails it to the garage when the heat hits.

“You could get killed in that garage. It’s insane,” said Cooper, 21, who keeps a towel in her car for use as a steering wheel buffer on days when there is no shade to be had.

At Tokyo Express restaurants, you’ll need an ice chest if you want the employees to happily sell you take-out sushi, general manager Kako Iwaoka said. Buying ice cream at the grocery store means speeding home, unless you’ve a hankering for vanilla soup. It seems suddenly completely rational to eat shaved ice for lunch.

At Bahama Buck’s in Mesa, where 92 flavors of shaved ice seem like summer solved, manager Ryan Cooper said customers wait outside the store each day for the 11 a.m. opening.

This time of year, Arizonans are suckers for anything frozen: there are frozen water bottles, freezer shelves full of Otter Pops, even frozen bed sheets. (Put dry sheets in the freezer, let them chill, and then fall asleep in an icy cocoon. After all, if they heat bath towels in the Midwest, why not chill bed sheets in the Southwest?)

It never reached 100° in Albuquerque last summer, though it did eight times in 2003. Phoenix had a low temperature one day that summer of 96°.

Must have been one helluva bear

From the Journals of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, this by Meriwether Lewis for May 14, 1805. They were in what is now Fort Peck Lake in northeastern Montana:

   Some fog on the river this morning, which is a very rare occurrence; the country much as it was yesterday with this difference that the bottoms are somewhat wider; passed some high black bluffs. saw immence herds of buffaloe today also Elk deer wolves and Antelopes. passed three large creeks one on the Stard. and two others on the Lard. side, neither of which had any runing water. Capt Clark walked on shore and killed a very fine buffaloe cow. I felt an inclination to eat some veal and walked on shore and killed a very fine buffaloe calf and a large woolf, much the whitest I had seen, it was quite as white as the wool of the common sheep. one of the party wounded a brown bear very badly, but being alone did not think proper to pursue him. In the evening the men in two of the rear canoes discovered a large brown bear lying in the open grounds about 300 paces from the river, and six of them went out to attack him, all good hunters; they took the advantage of a small eminence which concealed them and got within 40 paces of him unperceived, two of them reserved their fires as had been previously conscerted, the four others fired nearly at the same time and put each his bullet through him, two of the balls passed through the bulk of both lobes of his lungs, in an instant this monster ran at them with open mouth, the two who had reserved their fires discharged their pieces at him as he came towards them, boath of them struck him, one only slightly and the other fortunately broke his shoulder, this however only retarded his motion for a moment only, the men unable to reload their guns took to flight, the bear pursued and had very nearly overtaken them before they reached the river; two of the party betook themselves to a canoe and the others seperated an concealed themselves among the willows, reloaded their pieces, each discharged his piece at him as they had an opportunity they struck him several times again but the guns served only to direct the bear to them, in this manner he pursued two of them seperately so close that they were obliged to throw aside their guns and pouches and throw themselves into the river altho’ the bank was nearly twenty feet perpendicular; so enraged was this anamal that he plunged into the river only a few feet behind the second man he had compelled take refuge in the water, when one of those who still remained on shore shot him through the head and finally killed him; they then took him on shore and butched him when they found eight balls had passed through him in different directions; the bear being old the flesh was indifferent, they therefore only took the skin and fleece …

There’s more.

Smallpox

It was on this day in 1796, that Edward Jenner, a doctor, inoculated an eight-year-old boy with a vaccine for smallpox. It was the first safe vaccine ever developed, and it was the first time anyone had successfully prevented the infection of any contagious disease. What made it so remarkable was that it was accomplished before the causes of disease were even understood, decades before anyone even knew about the existence of germs.

Jenner was a country doctor. He studied for a few years in a hospital in London, and learned something about the scientific method. Smallpox at the time was the most devastating disease in the world. It caused boils to break out all over the body, and killed about one in four adults who caught it, and one in every three children. It was so contagious, most people who lived in populous areas caught it at some point in their lives.

From The Writer’s Almanac, which has more.

Update May 15: There’s another story on the origins of smallpox vaccination at hedgeblog.

It’s Only Rock ‘N’ Roll

“Actually the [Rolling] Stones are calling this tour “The Onstage Tour” because at each show a group of fans will be sitting up on stage with the band. Isn’t that also called assisted living? Having people around just in case.”

Jay Leno

Jamestown

The first lasting English settlement in North America was established on this date in 1607 at Jamestown [Virginia]. From aboard the Susan Constant, Godspeed and Discovery, 104 men landed to remain behind when the ships left for England.

War!

The United States Congress declared war on Mexico on this date in 1846. (Open hostilities had begun in April.)

Two days earlier, in a message to Congress, President Polk had claimed:

The cup of forbearance had been exhausted even before the recent information from the frontier of the Del Norte [Rio Grande]. But now, after reiterated menaces, Mexico has passed the boundary of the United States, has invaded our territory and shed American blood upon the American soil. She has proclaimed that hostilities have commenced, and that the two nations are now at war.

(Of course, Mexico did not recognize the Rio Grande as the border.)

Within a few hours the House passed a resolution authorizing war 173-14. The Senate interrupted its debate about whether to abolish West Point and discussed the matter of war for a day before agreeing 42-2.

At a cabinet meeting on the 13th, Polk corrected Secretary of State Buchanan of the notion that the U.S. did not intend to acquire New Mexico or California. Such acquisition might be necessary to indemnify us Polk said, and he would accept war with “either England or France or all the Powers of Christendom” rather than pledge “that we would not if we could fairly and honourably acquire California or any other part of Mexican territory which we desired.”

NewsGator

NewMexiKen mentioned Thursday that the web-based RSS aggregator NewsGator had left New Mexico out of its list of available weather alerts — all the other states and outlying areas of the U.S. were listed (except Ohio).

Today I received an email from Leland Rucker, the Content Manager at NewsGator Technologies. He has corrected the list (including Ohio). Mr. Rucker says, “I’m a big fan of your fair state and have spent much time there the last twenty years.”

Evelyn Wood anyone?

While we’re on the topic of Bush’s leisure time, anyone intent on criticizing the president for taking an hour and a half out of his day to mountain-bike should take the following as proof that he is indeed a busy man: In a photo taken just after the ride, Bush is holding what appears to be a copy of “I Am Charlotte Simmons,” the Tom Wolfe novel about debauchery on a college campus. In early February, Bush told reporters he was reading that same book — which, if he is almost done, averages to about seven pages a day.

The Washington Post

Link via The Huffington Post.

What, me worry?

Q: Might there be something wrong with protocols that render the president unnecessary when the alarm is going off at his house?

McCLELLAN: That’s not at all what occurred, Ken. And I would disagree strongly with the way you characterize it for the reasons I started earlier, and that I talked about. This was a situation where the president was in an off-site location. He was not in danger, a situation where protocols have been put in place to address the situation. The protocols were followed. …

Q: And those protocols are OK with the president despite the fact that his wife was in a situation where she might have been endangered?

McCLELLAN: She was taken to a secure location, as were some other officials.

Q: And wouldn’t he want to know about that as it was happening?

McCLELLAN: He was briefed about the situation.

Q: After it happened.

He was bike riding in Maryland.

Sticky fingers

A bottle of maple syrup fell from Jason Kottke’s refrigerator onto the floor. NewMexiKen likes Kottke’s original plans for dealing with it:

My first reaction upon seeing the sticky pointy superhero of a mess was to abandon all my possessions and move immediately to a new apartment. After seriously considering that for a few seconds, I then decided to leave it for the ants. I currently have no ants in my apartment, but I’m sure a big puddle of liquid sugar in the middle of the kitchen floor is just the thing to attract some.

He has moved on to less practical approaches: How to clean up maple syrup.

Church talk

The American Street has the opening weekend church bulletin for Our Lady of the Perpetual Democrat Church and Day Spa.

Pretty funny. Note the signs on the church and the choice of communion wine.

NewMexiKen always liked Garrison Keillor’s name for the Catholic church in Lake Wobegon — Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility.