. . . is 75 today. I saw Woody Allen doing stand-up once upon a time when we were both a lot younger (about 45 years ago, sigh).
Here’s a few of his insights, some possibly from that very time.
“A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.”
“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”
“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
“Some guy hit my fender, and I told him ‘be fruitful, and multiply.’ But not in those words.”
“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
“If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.”
“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”