I realize I am just a cranky old guy fast approaching geezer-hood, but am I the only one who finds it odd (rude?) when I am conducting business with someone — like just now on the telephone — and they start addressing me by my first name?
Perhaps I just notice it because they call me Kenneth (the name on my credit cards, etc.) and not Ken (the name I use with people I am on a first name basis with).
Shuffleboard, anyone?
Having worked in customer service in the past, and in my current role, I find it hard to address individuals by their last name if their first name is gender neutral. I know I’d be upset if somebody called me “Ms. Maestas.”
Then again, I get offended when people call me Alvino too.
The one that gets me is when I show up in person to do business at a store and right in the middle of the transaction, the sales clerk answers the phone. Instead of saying “Please hold, I’m with a customer”, they keep talking and allow the caller to interrupt your conversation. It happens all the time. I have been tempted to say “Hey man, I was here first.” But then I would be the cranky old guy.
I have one of those Germanic last names that have a 50-50 chance of being pronounced correctly. People always get it wrong and I don’t even bother to correct them.
Here’s my favorite. I eat out often with my good friend Donna. Sometimes I pay, sometimes we go Dutch and sometimes she pays. When she pays with a credit card, I can’t tell you how many times the server has returned with the card and the receipts and put the little tray on the table near me. It happens more often than not. It was on her side of the table when you picked it up! Her name is on the card! It’s a woman’s name!
I assure you this little blunder takes money out of their pocket every time.
And this one. I was taught food service at a country club by a European style maître d’. We would never have gone up to a table while the members were conversing and interrupt them to ask if everything was OK. What’s up with that? It happens every meal. We were taught that when we weren’t busy we should stand nearby, but unobtrusively, and watch to see if anyone was looking for us. If we did need to ask the table something, we were taught to approach and wait until we were recognized, then speak. How hard is that?
Shuffleboard, anyone?
When I worked at the same club years later, a fellow waiter interrupted a Christmas Party of 12 whilst someone was just about to deliver a punch line. What a buffoon.
Is everything OK? I hate that! If I wanted OK, I would eat at Hometown Buffet. Moreover, “how are we doing, or are we ready for dessert.” I didn’t know you are dining with us.
I don’t mind the first name depending on the situation. I was taught to do this by Intuit and it was successful for me. Psychologists advise these companies to do this.
Morons!
People ALWAYS mispronounce my last name. If I eventually decide to take my husband’s names, they’ll mispronounce it even more annoyingly. For that reason alone I may go back to my “maiden” name (how much do I hate that term?)–it’s one of the most common names in the country.
I pay for dinner often. After running the card, servers ALWAYS put the tray/folder in front of my husband. I cannot articulate how much this annoys me. It’s 2010, not 1956.
As regards the interruption complaint, I feel it depends upon the restaurant. Fine dining is fine dining, and one does not interrupt. Of course, when one waits tables in a fine dining establishment, one has two or three tables to which one must attend. Macaroni Grill is not fine dining. Those servers have eight or nine tables. When you’re running that many tables, you don’t have time to stand around and wait for anything. While I’ll agree it’s polite to wait for a break in the conversation/eye contact, I’ll cut the staff some slack. Attentive is good.
No matter how many tables one is waiting a little common courtesy goes a long way. Okay, they don’t have time to stand by waiting for eye contact, but the server should at least have sense enough to judge the body language and level of intensity of the conversation they would potentially interrupt.
Another of my pet peeves, and yes I admit this may be quite petty, is servers asking, “How does everything taste?” or some variation. I don’t know why that rubs me the wrong way but it does.
Asking if everything is okay is far more comprehensive.
Men of a certain age. I realized I was old when it occurred to me that most people seem young to me.
When Angela and the boys and I go out to eat and she pays, they always return the card to me because I’m the OLDER woman. Pisses me off. Yeah, sure, let “mom” pay. Gripes me every time! And makes me laugh.
I’ve always worked in some form of customer service and I could never address a customer by their first name unless they ask me to and even then I’m careful.
I don’t think it’s about feelin’ old, Ken. I think it’s all about that lost art called, “Manners” and a lot of youngsters just don’t have ’em, don’t use ’em, and it irks me to no end.