Redux post of the day

First posted here six years ago today (and repeated in 2006):

Drug test
By NewMexiKen [1998]

You’ll be pleased to hear that all of your government secrets are in drug free hands.

Yup, today was the day I got called with 53 minutes notice for my random drug urine test. Illegal search and seizure if you ask me, but I had to sign a waiver and give up my rights when I got a security clearance. My attorney advises me that this has probably already been litigated, so I went and did my thing for a drug free U.S. federal workforce. Hope Centrum Silver doesn’t set off any alarms.

Actually, I can state unequivocally that I have been controlled substance free, so the test was more annoying than anything. Too bad, if I failed I would have had my security clearance pulled and been given a probationary period doing nothing for the same money for months, as happened to at least two guys in our office last year. Poor bastards really suffered.

Highlight of the experience. I said to the person administering the test, “This must be an unpleasant job.”

“Best job I’ve ever had,” she replied.

Whoa! In this job she is called a “Collector.” Can you even imagine her other jobs?

And for those who’ve never had this little indignity, no they don’t watch. They just don’t let you take anything in with you and they check the temperature of the specimen to make sure it is body temperature. Of course, they may have a camera in there and I may be action news “film at 11.”

Or in my case, perhaps “America’s Funniest Videos.”