Ephraim’s comment suggests two poll answers I might have included. Save the $2 until next week and buy one share of Citigroup stock. Save the $2 until next month and buy one share of Bank of America stock.
Or save it for one month and buy four shares of Citigroup stock.
The app won’t let me play, but if it would, I’d vote for two lottery tickets.
The horse race is the only way to go. First of all, horse races are exciting, which can not be said for any of the other options. Secondly, you can drink bourbon during a horse race, which, while certainly an option for the others (save Starbucks), is more attractive on a lovely spring day in the great outdoors. Finally, when I go to the track I go with my wife, who always wears a flowery summer dress.
If one assumes six horses running in a given race, I have roughly a one-in-ten chance of picking the winner. If that happens, I get a return on my investment, something unlikely with the other options. (Buying a lottery ticket does not appreciably increase your chances of winning, GM is…well, be serious.) Two key points, though: One, I consider myself to be a professional gambler and thus can write off the cost of my bet. That saves me about 40 cents on my taxes. Second, my personal accounting system considers bourbon a capital charge, not an expense, and I amortize the purchase over a prudent 36 year period. That reduces the accounting impact of, say, a mint julep with souvenir glass to just over 20 cents, and I can give the glass away later to out-of-state visitors, generating goodwill that — wonder of wonders! — offsets the initial cost of the bet.
The result of this is that the $2 bet on, say, SloPoke in the sixth race (going off at 12-1) will show a 20 cent profit whether I win or lose. That’s a nearly 10% ROI before I even get to the revenue side. And since I’m only betting $2, if SloPoke wins — and I’m telling you, he’s due — I collect my roughly $20 in profits without any pesky IRS paperwork, so the tax impact is nil.
Plus, I’m drunk and my wife is just beautiful in the sunshine. And, if history is any measure, she’s hit a couple of exactas and is flush with cab money.
Tom, that is a work of art.
I love Starbucks and rarely have time to enjoy a nice cup of coffee outside of home and office. So, Yes, I would indulge in a delightful lattee:)
Put it in the bank. 🙂
Ephraim’s comment suggests two poll answers I might have included. Save the $2 until next week and buy one share of Citigroup stock. Save the $2 until next month and buy one share of Bank of America stock.
Or save it for one month and buy four shares of Citigroup stock.
The app won’t let me play, but if it would, I’d vote for two lottery tickets.
The horse race is the only way to go. First of all, horse races are exciting, which can not be said for any of the other options. Secondly, you can drink bourbon during a horse race, which, while certainly an option for the others (save Starbucks), is more attractive on a lovely spring day in the great outdoors. Finally, when I go to the track I go with my wife, who always wears a flowery summer dress.
If one assumes six horses running in a given race, I have roughly a one-in-ten chance of picking the winner. If that happens, I get a return on my investment, something unlikely with the other options. (Buying a lottery ticket does not appreciably increase your chances of winning, GM is…well, be serious.) Two key points, though: One, I consider myself to be a professional gambler and thus can write off the cost of my bet. That saves me about 40 cents on my taxes. Second, my personal accounting system considers bourbon a capital charge, not an expense, and I amortize the purchase over a prudent 36 year period. That reduces the accounting impact of, say, a mint julep with souvenir glass to just over 20 cents, and I can give the glass away later to out-of-state visitors, generating goodwill that — wonder of wonders! — offsets the initial cost of the bet.
The result of this is that the $2 bet on, say, SloPoke in the sixth race (going off at 12-1) will show a 20 cent profit whether I win or lose. That’s a nearly 10% ROI before I even get to the revenue side. And since I’m only betting $2, if SloPoke wins — and I’m telling you, he’s due — I collect my roughly $20 in profits without any pesky IRS paperwork, so the tax impact is nil.
Plus, I’m drunk and my wife is just beautiful in the sunshine. And, if history is any measure, she’s hit a couple of exactas and is flush with cab money.
Tom, that is a work of art.
I love Starbucks and rarely have time to enjoy a nice cup of coffee outside of home and office. So, Yes, I would indulge in a delightful lattee:)