Well, anyway, everybody’s out there campaigning. And today, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Sen. John McCain was there with Sarah Palin. And they were having lunch at a diner, and I thought this was so sweet. She was cutting his meat for him.
McCain was sitting there at the counter, wearing his Diamondbacks baseball cap, muttering about hippies.
John McCain is old. In fact, he is so old that his blood type has been discontinued.
I do kind of like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the flight attendant who won’t give you a second can of Pepsi. “No, you’ve had enough. We’re landing.”
Sarah Palin looks like the waitress at the coffee shop who draws a little smiley face on your check.
— David Letterman
Today, Barack Obama took his daughters to their first day of school, which was sweet. And in a related story, John McCain took his daughters to pick up their Social Security checks.”
Experts say that since Sarah Palin became the vice presidential nominee, there’s been an actual spike in the sales of her style of eyeglasses. … Yeah, with Palin’s glasses, you’ll be able to see everything, except what the hell your teenage daughter’s up to.
— Conan O’Brien