A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram. He fills out a form on which he writes down the telegram he wishes to send: “Bow wow wow, bow wow wow.”
The clerk says, “You can add another ‘Bow wow’ for the same price.”
The dog responded, “Now wouldn’t that sound a little silly?”
Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
“Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
“But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
“One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
“Oh, that’s no reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
“Give me two good reasons why I should go to school.”
“One, you are fifty-two years old. Two, you are the principal of the school.”
Two rednecks were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress. One said to the other, “That gal there is having a bad time!” The other agreed and said, “Think we should go help?” “You bet,” said the first, and with that, he ran over and said, “Can you breathe?” She shook her head no. He said, “Can you speak?” She again shook her head no. With that, he pulled up her skirt and licked her on the butt.
She was so shocked, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe–with great relief.
The redneck walked back to his friend and said, “Funny how that hind lick maneuver always works.”
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.
“I’m sorry Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane…”
Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane, I said that she’s fucking Goofy!”
I visit your site every day and thoroughly enjoy it.
Today, I saw the new scheme and thought NewMexiken is bored and is fooling around with the look and feel of his blog. THEN, the jokes were good for a chuckle until the last one was a belly buster. That was also the first time I ever saw the F bomb on your site and I thought NewMexiken is really out there today! A real Kentiflas.
I didn’t know there was a blog about 1492 and I have now made it a Favorite as several of my ancestors came back to NM with DeVargas. Gracias
You’ve got my number on the redesign Mike, but the f-word had shown up around here in all its glory from time-to-time before.
My favorite posting that almost uses the f-word is Grandpa and Grammar.
Wow. The F word surprised me as well. The last time you had F on your blog was Sep. 20, 2007 and the last time F-ing appeared was October 13, 2007. At least that’s what I got from Google.
So, it has been a while.
Holy Macanoly, Google is not our friend.
Fuckin’ A, you got that right!