Two good lines from last night

“Senator John McCain has been accused of having an affair with a woman who was a lobbyist for a cable television company. During their affair the cable lobbyist would show up at McCain’s house sometime between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m.”

Conan

“They say this woman traveled around with McCain to his campaign stops and she also flew aboard his private jet. You know what they call a young woman who travels around with a 71-year-old man? A nurse!”

Leno