Barack Obama’s Top Ten Campaign Promises

Number 10: “To keep the budget balanced, I’ll rent the Situation Room for sweet sixteens”

Number 9: “I will double your tax money at the craps table”

Number 8: “Appoint Mitt Romney Secretary of Lookin’ Good”

Number 7: “If you bring a gator to the White House, I’ll wrassle it”

Number 6: “I’ll put Regis on the nickel”

Number 5: “I’ll rename the tenth month of the year ‘Barack-tober'”

Number 4: “I won’t let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model”

Number 3: “I’ll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece”

Number 2: “Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear”

And the number one Barack Obama campaign promise:

“Three words: Vice President Oprah”

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