This story gets NewMexiKen into the Christmas mood about as well as anything can — my preferred Christmas mood being grumpy, but with an underlying sense of Christmas wonderment. Anyway, it’s worth telling again. It was first posted here last year.
Veronica, official daughter-in-law of NewMexiKen, writes about one of the Christmas season’s most cherished traditions — taking the little one to see Santa.
We were at the mall early to do some Christmas shopping yesterday when we saw a mom and her two young kids standing outside the door to Santa’s workshop. We asked her what the deal was, and she pointed to the sign about the extra holiday hours. We were in luck. It was 9:45, and Santa was going to be there at 10am. So, we got in line.
Sofie was excited and remarkably well-behaved. At 10, the line had grown behind us, but there was still no sign of Santa. At about 10:15, the kids started whining. At about 10:30, the parents started to wonder if maybe Santa had had a few too many the night before. At about 10:45, someone in line reported seeing “an old guy with a beard” in the parking lot heading toward the Santa house, but he wasn’t in costume yet. Finally, at 11, the doors to Santa’s workshop opened. A pissed-off elf informed us that “corporate” didn’t tell them about the early holiday hours. By this point, the mom in front of us had left, dragging her disappointed and crying kids through the mall – they’d apparently “lost” Santa privileges because they were misbehaving.
Sofie was first in line. She goes in and won’t even look at Santa. Not for a second. Santa was more than happy, however, to have mom sit next to him. Um, gross. So the picture…(which cost us about $700 give or take a few bucks) pretty much sums up our perfect Santa experience:
(1) A long wait in line
(2) Screaming kids
(3) Problems at “corporate”
(4) Our own kid didn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap (or look at him or talk to him)
(5) A lecherous Santa
(6) Ridiculously overpriced photos of the experience
Oh, the title to this post “Ha Ha Ha” — that’s because “Ho Ho Ho” is now seen as derogatory to women.