If you find yourself feeling sorry for this poor thing, just remember that in five years she’ll probably be a big movie star making more money than all of the readers of this blog put together.
5 thoughts on “Miss Teen South Carolina”
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What is a Freudian slip that only happens in your mind called?
I thought you wrote, “…in five years she’ll probably be a big porn star making more money….”
Did she study at the GW Bush School of Public Speaking?
Actually, I think it’s more likely she’ll be married to some locally significant rich guy who’s 10 years older than she is. She won’t be seen again until…oh, I’m guessing 2026 when he runs for the State Senate. He’ll lose, in large measure because the video of her at the Miss Teen South Carolina Pageant will resurface and she will — once again — be a laughingstock.
Her husband leaves her soon after to marry his former campaign manager, a brittle-haired lawyer legendary around the capitol for her sexual prowess.
When she is 50, she’ll make a porn film to prove that she’s still hot. The premise of the film is that she has forgotten how to have sex, must go around asking people how to do it, and encounters lots of different theories about how sex works.
She will die at age 62, while eating seafood lasagna, when she accidentally swallows a fork.
Atrios says we should leave her alone, we all say stupid things.
But Tom’s prediction for her future is the best since the ending of Animal House.
OK, weird, I thought the word “porn” was there as well. I think it’s because the word “poor” appears right above the “movie star” line. So it’s both of us…hmmmmmm
Cheers, Mi3ke