SnoLepard, official brother of NewMexiKen (his real name is Lee), has made some startling predictions for 2007.
Number 10: Paris and Britney’s new line of fragrances, anchored by their eau de toilette Princess And The Pee will fail even worse than Nick Nolte’s biopic Jose Cuervo.
Number 9: Scuttlebutt about the so-called Madden curse makes marquee NFL players jittery about having their picture on the box of Madden NFL, so EA Sports will talk the entire 2007 Superbowl Champion Baltimore Ravens into appearing on the cover en masse. They will finish the following season 0-16.
Number 8: Bush’s overseas approval ratings will dip so low he will be forced to travel to the U.S. to get away from all his critics.
Number 7: O.J. Simpson will open Killer Ribs, a barbecue restaurant in Florida, using the money Fox says it paid him to write and discuss how he would have killed his ex-wife and her friend. He vows to use the profits to find the people who “really got the money from Fox.”
Number 6: The NCAA will announce its intention to discontinue the end of the season basketball tournaments. March Madness will be replaced by a series of meaningless one-time games between two more or less winning teams to be decided by the hosts of the games, spread out over three weeks and scattered about the country. The exception will be the so-called championship game, whose two participants will be decided by a committee who will review various polls and computer rankings to determine which two teams are the most deserving to be crowned Champs.
Number 5: Michael Richards and Mel Gibson will team up to produce Oy Vey Yo Bro, a CD that is a hybrid of Klezmer and Hip-hop in a conciliatory gesture towards previously offended minority groups. It will be so bad that even William Shatner won’t cover the tunes.
Number 4: YouTube will overtake NBC in both advertising revenue and viewer ratings. This news will overshadow the revelation that NBC has actually been showing only reruns for the last three seasons.
Number 3: After getting mired in a bidding war over the adoption of a North Korean baby, Madonna and Angelina Jolie have a cat fight and end up in a bitter feud that only Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell can successfully mediate.
Number 2: Confiding in Secretary Rice that he is worried about the course of events in Iraq, Bush will order her to hire a team of “language guys, with really good word books, like at universities and them places” to find new ways to tell the same old story.
And my number one Top Ten psychic prediction for 2007:
Secretary Rice will be overheard explaining to George Bush that a thesaurus isn’t a kind of dinosaur, a linguist isn’t someone who makes noodles and paradigms aren’t something worth twenty cents. It will make YouTube’s 10 most popular clips list for 2007.
HaHaHaHaHa!
These were great!
#7 needs to have added, “The secret’s in the sauce!” ala “Fried Green Tomatos.”
Lee is a funny guy!
*still laughing*
🙂
What a jerk. Leave the President alone. He is doing a fine job. Where were the Democrats during the time FDR was “playing God” in Europe? He even KNEW of the attack on Pearl Harbor and did NOTHING so the US could get into the War. Our President acted on all he was told and is being crucified. The WMP do exist – they were moved to Syria.
Brad, simply put, George W. Bush is the worst U.S. President ever.
“The WMP”? So this whole war was actually fought over the Windows Media Player? Or was it over a Waste Management Plan?
Way to FORMULATE a well-thought-out and compelling COMMENT, Brad. It’s words like this, FROM folks like you, that make me really RETHINK all I know.
Brad, here’s a bit of advise for you; don’t believe everything you think.
And one more thing, as hard as they’ve tried to make it NOT so, we are still allowed to criticize the president in this country. Especially when he is “the worst U.S. President ever.”