School daze

An attorney friend writes in his Christmas letter:

“Kevin’s punishment for academic enthusiasm in the type-A Montgomery County school culture is an AP English teacher who assigned the following essay: ‘Compare thoughts about art in Hamlet and Ode to a Grecian Urn. Your essay must include the three concepts of Montainesque skepticisim.’ Thank God Kevin stopped asking for homework help in middle school. . . . .

The new . . . varsity [baseball] coach was reputed to have run a conditioning drill that required sprinting intervals, with a penalty of an additional group lap if any single participant lagged behind. One kid stopped to puke, and the coach told them all to run another lap.”