December 6th is the birthday

… of Dave Brubeck. Dave’s taken five for 86 years.

… of Tom Hulce. The actor who played Mozart in Amadeus is 53. (The film came out in 1984.) Hulce got an Oscar nomination for that performance. He shows up from time-to-time, but the only other role that comes to mind is Larry Kroger in Animal House.

… of Steven Wright. He’s 51.

  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
  • How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
  • Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
  • Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
  • A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
  • A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, “Wish you were here.”
  • I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
  • If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
  • What’s another word for Thesaurus?
  • If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

One of America’s great lyricists, Ira Gershwin was born on this date in 1896.

Summertime
And the livin’ is easy,
Fish are jumpin’
And the cotton is high.
Oh yo’ daddy’s rich
An’ yo’ ma is good lookin’
So hush, little baby,
Don’t you cry.

[with Dubose Heyward]

*****

You’ve made my life so glamorous
You can’t blame me for feeling amorous.
Oh! ‘S wonderful! ‘S marvelous!
That you should care for me!

‘S wonderful! ‘S marvelous!
That you should care for me!
‘S awful nice! ‘S paradise!
‘S what I love to see!

*****

The way you wear your hat,
The way you sip your tea,
The mem’ry of all that —
No, no! They can’t take that away from me!

The way your smile just beams,
The way you sing off key,
The way you haunt my dreams —
No, no! They can’t take that away from me!

8 thoughts on “December 6th is the birthday”

  1. And…

    If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    Why don’t you ever see the headline: “Psychic Wins Lottery!”?

    haha!

  3. And two more of my favorites:

    She asked, “How do you feel?” And I said, “Well, you know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.”

    I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast any time.” So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

  4. When I fill out job applications under “in emergency contact_______” I always write “doctor.” What should I write, mother? What’s she gonna do, bring cookies?”

    My cable tv got scrambled last night and I was getting The Home Shopping Network and C-SPAN on the same channel, so I bought a congressman.

    I got drunk last night and fell asleep in my neighbors sattelite dish and people all over the world saw my dreams on their tvs.

  5. That last line (in SnoLepard’s comment) sounds like an episode of Northern Exposure or something.

  6. hahaha! Tobias.
    Here’s one that made me laugh:
    A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
    Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu…

    Broiled Missionary: $10.00
    Fried Explorer: $15.00
    Baked Politician: $100.00.
    The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the politician?”
    The cook replied “Have you ever tried to clean one of them?”
    HA!
    🙂

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