“Desperate Housewives” beauty Eva Longoria not only turned heads Wednesday, she made them rock back with laughter.
The petite actress came to town to give the keynote address at the quarterly Latino Leaders Luncheon Series at the Capitol Hilton.
“Thank you for inviting me to this luncheon … but don’t think of me as today’s featured speaker, think of me as your temporary guest worker,” she opened. “I know some of you may only know about me from what you read in the tabloids. Let me assure you, the tabloids are the second most inaccurate libelous publications in history. First are negative campaign ads.”
She ought to know. The Texas native stumped for John Kerry in 2004 and has worked with the Congressional Hispanic Caucus.
“Can you imagine the TV ads they’d run based on me as Gabrielle?” she continued, referring to her “Desperate” TV character. “In the last two years, I had an affair with a teenager, faked a paternity test, my husband went to prison and I pushed him out a window. OK, so I could win in California.”
Amid her inspirational remarks on Latino advancement, the Texas native continued to draw liberally from the comedians’ toolbox.
On race: “I made TV history by being the first Latina to have a white gardener.”
On sex: “We’re trying to inject more political messages into next season. Every time you see me in lingerie, it’s a message about global warming.”