This lengthy report in The New York Times on what may prove to be a scandal at Auburn reminds me of a story.
The coaches and athletic director were despondent. The big game was approaching and the star player was failing all his classes. If something wasn’t done, and done soon, he wouldn’t be eligible to play. They convinced the dean.
So, the dean approached each of the player’s professors and explained how contributions from alumni depended on how the team did in the big game — and how important this player was to winning. The dean convinced all of the teachers to change the player’s grade.
All but one.
“No,” this professor insisted, “he has to re-take the exam.”
“OK,” said the dean, “if he passes, can he play?”
“Yes,” said the professor.
“Can it be an oral exam?” asked the dean.
“Sure,” said the professor.
“With just one question?”
“Yes,” said the professor, feeling his arm twist.
“Can it be a spelling test?”
“Why not,” said the professor, now just trying to be a team player.
“A one word spelling test?”
“Sure.”
“And if he gets one letter right, he passes, right?”
“OK. OK.”
“And the word will be coffee?”
“Yes, yes, anything.”
They called the player in. Spell coffee they said.
“K-a-u-p-h-y.”