Friend Tanya writes:
Prior to Mother’s Day I was racking my brain trying to come up with a suitable present for my mother. As many of you know, she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes last year so candy and other goodies were out. My dad often gives her flowers and I had just bought her a dozen roses on a recent visit home. I decided to purchase some books on line for her at Amazon where I am frequent shopper as it would be convenient for me and mom would enjoy new reading material.
After searching what was available I settled on two that sounded like mom, “Women’s Letters: America from Revolutionary War to the Present” and “Posterity Letters of Great Americans to Their Children.” As most of you know my mother is a proud graduate of the College of William and Mary and studied women’s history so I thought these would be right up her alley. I patted myself on the back for being such a great gift picker and went back to work.
The presents arrived on Thursday and since mom had had a medical procedure that day and needed a pick me up, I told her to open the box while I was talking with her on the phone. I heard her say, “Tanya sent me books” and then I heard hysterical laughter in the background from my father.
What mom received was not “Women’s Letters: America from Revolutionary War to the Present” and “Posterity Letters of Great Americans to Their Children.” What she received was “Swingers – when it goes beyond curiosity” and “Essence Magazine’s My Lover, His Wife” which, per the back cover is the story of a love triangle between a married couple and an unmarried woman where the women decide that the man is not all that necessary (I am stating this as delicately as possible for my elderly readers here.)
In short, what my mother received from me for Mothers Day was…soft core literary porn.
If anyone who sent a more creative gift to their moms, I will buy you a frosty adult beverage once I recover from my mortification enough to show my face in public.
Tanya adds, “[N]ot only had they sent my MOTHER pornography, but I had ordered gift wrap and it arrived unwrapped. I don’t mind being off-color occasionally but I try not to be tacky.”
While Tanya’s mom may have been surprised, even shocked, think about the poor frustrated individual who received her order by mistake — searching through “Posterity Letters of Great Americans to Their Children” for the sexy parts.