At $42 Billion, Largest Contract of its Kind, Company Says

HALLIBURTON WINS CONTRACT TO RECONSTRUCT CHENEY’S REPUTATION

The Halliburton Company announced today that it had won a $42 billion no-bid contract from the U.S. government to reconstruct the reputation of Vice President Dick Cheney.

While Halliburton has been known for massive reconstruction projects in such war-torn nations as Iraq, the $42 billion contract represents the first time that the company has been employed to put its reconstruction expertise to work on one embattled human being.

The Borowitz Report, which has more.