How to Order Wine

Without Looking Like an Asshole from Waiter Rant. Some of the recommendations:

2. Don’t ask, “What’s cheap?”

6. Remember the mark up — Most establishments mark up the price of a bottle from 1 ½ to 5 times the wholesale price. … Since you’re paying so much I recommend getting something you can’t get at the gas station….

9. DO NOT SMELL THE CORK!

10. DON’T SMELL THE PLASTIC CORK EITHER!

11. … But SWIRL the wine! Don’t spin it like you’re trying to separate U-235 in a centrifuge machine!

25. Merlot is a perfectly good wine. Don’t believe all that “Sideways” crap. God I hate that movie!

26. It’s wine, not the Blood of Christ. Don’t worship it. Enjoy it.

It’s an informative and amusing post.