“Newsweek magazine is reporting that President Bush called in the editor and publisher of The New York Times two weeks ago and demanded they stop publishing the article about him illegally eavesdropping and wiretapping people. Here’s my question. How did he know they were going to publish it?”
Leno
“I’m joking about it but the traffic now is horrible in the city. The city is now like Dick Cheney, every major artery is blocked.”
Letterman