- Yesterday was election day. A lot was on the ballot here in New York City. Proposition 8 was on the ballot. That would have made it illegal to shoot someone in a library without a silencer.
- Every election I go to the polling place with my Uncle Earl. He went into the booth first and I was in line behind him. I’m sitting there waiting and waiting and finally I hear, “The damn thing won’t flush!?”
- Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota duck hunting. There were no ducks though. He blamed it on bad intelligence.
— David Letterman