The flight attendant did a nice job with some old material on Southwest Airlines today.
“The smoking section is on the wing. If you can light ’em, you can smoke ’em.”
“If you’re travelling with a child — or someone who acts like a child — ”
“We’ll be coming through the cabin one more time,
We’ll be coming through the cabin one more time,
Oh, we’ll be coming through the cabin,
We’ll be coming through the cabin,
We’ll be coming through the cabin one more time.”
Sung well to the tune of “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round the Mountain” with several verses. This one got him a round of applause, which I’m certain would have been a standing ovation if the seatbelt sign hadn’t been on.
Pretended to spill a tray of drinks. The cups were empty.
And that old chestnut:
“I want to tell you we have a first time flyer celebrating their 100th birthday on board today. Please, be sure to say ‘Happy Birthday’ to the captain on your way out.”
I still prefer this one:
In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device and shark repellent. But I have good news… I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
We got this version: “In the event Southwest Airlines becomes Southwest Cruise Lines your seat cushion …”