It’s the birthday of Mark Twain, born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, in Florida, Missouri (1835), who wrote Life on the Mississippi (1883), The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), and his own favorite, The Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc (1891). He was cynical and irreverent, but he had a tender spot for cats. There were always kittens in the house, and he gave them names like “Sin” and “Sour Mash.” “Mamma has morals,” said his daughter Suzy, “and Papa has cats.” He swore constantly and without shame. His streams of profanity broke his wife’s heart on a daily basis. One day he cut himself shaving, and she heard a string of oaths from the bathroom. She resolved to move him to repentance, and she repeated back to him all the bad words he had just said. He smiled at her and shook his head. “You have the words, Livy,” he said, “but you’ll never learn the tune.” After he published The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, he found himself awash in cash, which he invested in a typesetting machine that was very complicated and very ingenious and demanded more and more investment and in the end would not work. He had to declare bankruptcy, and he decided to go on a worldwide lecture tour, the proceeds of which he would use to pay back all of his creditors. His visits to Africa and Asia convinced him that a God who allowed Christians to believe that they were better than savages was a God he wanted no part of. He was a funny man and is remembered for his humorous sayings. He said, “It is better to keep you mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.” He also said, “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
Listen to Garrison Keillor recite the above and more.